Got Dressed Up Today, But ................ - Page 3

Roscoe the Rascal · ‎04-19-2016

I guess I am lucky and I hear it. Not every single time but he notices. I dress up more for girls night out. Lol. Maybe after 48 years he is worried about me and the girls.

I think over the years I have always expected him to compliment and me him. During the years I would say how do I look or bring out a couple outfits and say what do you think? Which one would you like to see me wear tonight? Things like that. He has excellent taste and I have used it over the years.

You can't just one day expect it if never been that way or have kept it up either. Goes both ways. He gets a hair cut I compliment, he changes his t shirt into a shirt I compliment.

If I want a compliment and not coming I say hey what do you think and take a spin.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

You can save yourself stress and disappointment if you just ask him how he thinks you look. Men DO NOT think like women do. The less we "expect" the happier we'll be. That's just what I've learned.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@Sage04 wrote:
@ECBG wrote:
@BunSnoop

@NO WAY would I let DH get by with that!

You will get what you expect.

I do the "leg work"! The first time didn't make it!

Done!

@ECBG I'm surprised you said that. You think a woman should "fish" for a compliment? Then it's a "pity" compliment. He would tell you what he thinks you want to hear. A compliment should be given without any prompting.

@Sage04

No. I do not think women should "fish" for a compliment.

You misinterpreted what I wrote, that's likely why you were surprised. If someone takes the time to get ready, a compliment can also come from a form of respect.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@BunSnoop My DH doesn't really say anything unless I really look not as well as ususal. He'll comment if hair is a bit frizzy, outfit too tight or whatever.

I really don't base my confidence level on what he or anyone says. ITA with another poster that men don't tend to notice...unless something we look really bad. Sad, but true.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Kachina624 wrote:
@BunSnoop I think your expectations for this unobservant male are too high. Its like you're trying to play "gotcha". Since he's obviously oblivious to what you're wearing, you need to train him with prompts.

There's nothing wrong with starting with, " how do you like my new blouse" or "do you like the way I put my outfit together today?". Maybe if you did this a few times, he'd become more observant, anticipating your questions.

@Kachina624 I disagree. Needing affirmation from a man how we look puts women back 50 yrs. to Lucy and Desi days.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Many women in this culture equate a lot of their self-worth with their appearance. It drives billions of dollars in our economy. And women often judge other women on their appearance.

Many men assess their own value through other measures than how they look. Are they good providers? Do they do what needs to be done? And values other than looks for themselves. So are you validating your husband on the things he thinks are important and that give him happiness and security?

And maybe you are missing compliments and thanks about you from him, because it is on things that he feels make you special that you aren't picking up on.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

My DH rarely ever says anything... 45 years plus of marriage... He did say I looked nice last week when I put "real clothes on" to go shopping( which is rare). Of course it was a day I DID NOT FEEL LIKE LOOKED NICE Oh well.....

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@BunSnoop wrote:
Went out to eat today for lunch to meet a friend with my husband. I wore a new Susan Graver top and capri pants in liquid knit, black sandals, matching purse and some sparkly gold jewelry. I also wore make-up and worked on my hair for quite a while and thought it turned out nice.

A few weeks ago I mentioned to my husband that it would be nice if when I get dressed up if once in a while he could say I look nice. I had hoped that after giving him a gentle little reminder that may be this time he would say something, but no - nothing.

No........I did not tell him he looked nice, because if I did he would then say "so do you". I had just hoped that he would of said it on his own.

Oh well, we're home now - back in my work clothes and out I go to help him put a blade on his mower and then water grass and flowers.

He probably would not of even noticed if I had kept on my new "dressed-up" outfit to do the work outside. I think I just "look the same" to him no matter if I'm dressed up or not.

Oh well.............

I am sorry you felt hurt @BunSnoop . I am a firm believer that nobody should ever tell anyone how they "should " feel. That said, I find with my husband it is a kind of mutual admiration relationship. I compliment him when he looks like he put a little extra effort to look nice and he does the same with me. In order to receive a compliment, it works both ways.

Next time your husband looks extra nice, compliment him. You may find he will be a little more attentive and return the compliments.💐🌼🌺

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

Usually we get back what we put out.

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

Another thought is do not ask because husband might just be honest and not so complimentary thinking he is helping you since if you ask you may have doubts about what you are wearing. He also might start giving you what he thinks is helpful tips to improve your look so maybe better to just be happy with your look since you are the one you have to please!

I made the mistake of asking my SO if he liked a top that I was wearing since it was a racerback and he liked them since they show off my toned shoulders and arms and he was complimentary saying it looked so nice on me but after wearing it many times he finally said even though he liked the style, he could not understand why I would keep wearing such a horrible color and it did me no favors (puece green). I was unsure because of that color so that is why I asked but he continued to compliment in that top thinking that is what I wanted until he finally was truthful. Be careful what you really want as it could backfire on you!