Among Friends

[BunSnoop]

Went out to eat today for lunch to meet a friend with my husband.  I wore a new Susan Graver top and capri pants in liquid knit, black sandals, matching purse and some sparkly gold jewelry.  I also wore make-up and worked on my hair for quite a while and thought it turned out nice.

A few weeks ago I mentioned to my husband that it would be nice if when I get dressed up if once in a while he could say I look nice.  I had hoped that after giving him a gentle little reminder that may be this time he would say something, but no - nothing.

No........I did not tell him he looked nice, because if I did he would then say "so do you".   I had just hoped that he would of said it on his own.

Oh well, we're home now - back in my work clothes and out I go to help him put a blade on his mower and then water grass and flowers. 

He probably would not of even noticed if I had kept on my new "dressed-up" outfit to do the work outside. I think I just "look the same" to him no matter if I'm dressed up or not.

Oh well.............

[SurferWife]

@BunSnoop 

Has he always been that way?  Every time you get dressed up & look extra pretty, has he never said anything or did he used to compliment you, then stop?  I wouldn't be too hard on him.  Some men just don't realize how much the ladies like to hear it.

[manny2]

I hear you @BunSnoop. Was he always like this? If yes, then why the expectation? If no, then I would talk to him again, and tell him how it makes you feel. 

[manny2]

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@SurferWife wrote:

@BunSnoop 

Has he always been that way?  Every time you get dressed up & look extra pretty, has he never said anything or did he used to complement you, then stop?  I wouldn't be too hard on him.  Some men just don't realize how much the ladies like to hear it.

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@SurferWife We posted at about the same time, so I didn't see your post.

I must say you give excellent advice!

[KingstonsMom]

@BunSnoop 

Awww, I'm sorry.... a lot of men are oblivious to our 'hints', but it sounds like you looked lovely for your night out with him and felt that you looked good, that's what counts!

Mine wouldn't notice if I nailed a neon sign to his forehead and tattooed "Wife looks good!" on his butt! LOL!

Hope you had a great time!

[pupwhipped]

I look so awful day in and day out that on the rare occasion I do get dressed up my husband can't help but notice. He's in shock!!! 😲 LOL!

[Kachina624]

@BunSnoop   I think your expectations for this unobservant male are too high.  Its like you're trying to play "gotcha".  Since he's obviously oblivious to what you're wearing, you need to train him with prompts.

There's nothing wrong with starting with, " how do you like my new blouse"  or "do you like the way I put my outfit together today?". Maybe if you did this a few times, he'd become more observant, anticipating your questions.

[LizzieInSRQ]

If i have to ask for a compliment, i wouldnt want it as it lacks sincerity.

Im single so i dont get compliments. I can get 4 inches of my hair taken off and my trainer- coworker says nothing about my obvious hairdo, although others do. She never ever has told me "good job" in the almost-1year ive worked there. I will compliment her 2 or 3 times a month and she will say " of course", "thats how i roll ", "thats whst i do"....she thinks she is being funny,maybe, but deep down i think she is a narcissist. 

I think your husband is resistant to being told how to react. Its too bad he doesnt get your love language and how a little effort would go a long way. Im going to still be me, as i think my compliments put her in some position of having to be warm or sincere back. I dunno.

Dress for yourself. Expect nothing, dont fish for compliments. You will never be disappointed again and sweetly surprised if he does. 

[ECBG]

@BunSnoop 

@NO WAY would I let DH get by with that!

You will get what you expect.

I do the "leg work"!  The first time didn't make it!

Done!

[Sage04]

No one should ever have to ask their Spouse for a compliment. If you know you look good and he doesn't say anything so what? That's his problem.

Always got compliments from my husband even though sometimes I might not think I look good, and he would say maybe we are looking at two different people.

Anytime I bought something new I would model it for my husband and son and they would let me know if it looked good on me. Even my 17 year old nephew compliments me.

@BunSnoop  let the mirror be your BEST FRIEND. Keep dressing up even if you aren't going anywhere.

Like I said, no woman should have to ask her husband for a compliment. It defeats the purpose. A woman who ask a man for a compliment isn't too sure of herself.