Getting my DH to do something - Page 8

SouthernBee · ‎09-16-2010

@Texasmouse- I feel your pain. My situation is very similar. I love my DH dearly and he has provided and spoiled me. However, he could be a hoarder. He has a computer room and since retirement a tv room- we watch everything together but I do not like basket ball. I tried to keep the den presentable but he has stacks of stuff everywhere but if someone drops by - he takes them directly to the den!!!We have had several arguments and he says I nag. This time last year had a major construction project- for him added a garage and for me a new kitchen and family room. He is not allowed to clutter the new kitchen or family room. If someone stops by- I close the door to the den and direct everyone to the new room. When the den gets to bad- he is given time to clean up or goes to garbage.Sadly DH has health issues and deals with depression and memory issues and some days really seams like a child. He has good and bad days and I cherish the good days. I look at the situation and know I cherish my time with DH and much better than being alone!! I purchased for me two years ago a refurbished IPad because I did not like his computer nor the computer room. I took one bedroom. I put commercial shelves in the room for extra pantry storage. The file cabinets are in this room with a desk to pay bills and tax time. I have a recumbent bike. I am in the process of decluttering and reorganize my room. I keep the doors closed to his rooms and mine.

Just reflect on everything and decide what is really important. SouthernBee

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

@Texasmouse I am not going to offer any advice other than to spend some quiet time reflecting before taking any action. I've learned that others don't change unless they want to and are internally motivated to change. We determine our mindset. My heart is with you and wish you a peace filled and joyful life.... no matter what decision you decide.

Texasmouse · ‎09-27-2010

@CAcableGirl2 wrote:
@NycVixen And when you hire someone, make sure they look like Brad Pitt. Not so much to drool over (hard to avoid), but maybe if he sees another man working in his house and making you happy, he might think twice the next time.

@CAcableGirl2

Lol!

Texasmouse · ‎09-27-2010

@phoenixbrd wrote:
@Texasmouse I am not going to offer any advice other than to spend some quiet time reflecting before taking any action. I've learned that others don't change unless they want to and are internally motivated to change. We determine our mindset. My heart is with you and wish you a peace filled and joyful life.... no matter what decision you decide.

Thank you @phoenixbrd

kelsey17 · ‎04-10-2012

I have to say Texasmouse...i think I AM MARRIED TO THE BIGGEST PROCRASTINATOR in existence.......I don't think in 37 years he has done something i ask him to do at the time.....it is always "later" ..."after my coffee" "next week" "tomorrow"..............even after all the put offs i still have to be a nag.........it isn't a fun position to be in and i feel for you......my husband will never change....don't think your DH will either....and yes..like you ...i envy those who have husbands who are so supportive.....

Reever · ‎03-14-2010

Divorce him!! You are better off being alone in life. Men will just drag you down.

Texasmouse · ‎09-27-2010

@kelsey17 wrote:
I have to say Texasmouse...i think I AM MARRIED TO THE BIGGEST PROCRASTINATOR in existence.......I don't think in 37 years he has done something i ask him to do at the time.....it is always "later" ..."after my coffee" "next week" "tomorrow"..............even after all the put offs i still have to be a nag.........it isn't a fun position to be in and i feel for you......my husband will never change....don't think your DH will either....and yes..like you ...i envy those who have husbands who are so supportive.....

@kelsey17

You know what they say about procrastinators, right? They're the leaders of tomorrow!

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@Reever wrote:
Divorce him!! You are better off being alone in life. Men will just drag you down.

@Reever. Have to say I disagree with you. I like men just fine, especially my husband.

Reever · ‎03-14-2010

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@Reever wrote:
Divorce him!! You are better off being alone in life. Men will just drag you down.
@Reever. Have to say I disagree with you. I like men just fine, especially my husband.

I was talking to the original poster. It sounds like her husband is a real sloth and is dragging her down.

sabatini · ‎06-29-2015

I've gotta say, @Texasmouse, you do seem to have a light hearted sense of humor about this. I think that says something about your relationship.

Something good.

To me, if a marriage is shaky, something like this (or just the way he breathes!), would send you over the edge, and on the road to divorce.

Maybe a way to make ONE room (of the 2) attractive, is to negotiate one room for yourself. (Do you want one?!)

Which room is bigger, the computer room or the man cave room?

Which ever is largest, I'd give it to him, & tell him that it's going to be a really nice room, just for him, & it can house his musical equipment, as well as all his hunting & fishing stuff.

It's possible that when he says 'I'll get to it', it really means he doesn't know where to start. He needs some inspiration!

Show him some pics of man caves from magazines, and act enthusiastic! Tell him that his could be even better!

Do you like to go flea marketing/antiquing/shopping together?

Maybe scout around for some cool decor, and maybe even for a big, squishy recliner to put in that room.

It's worth a try!

Good luck!

Muddling through...