Among Friends

[Panda lady]

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@Doxie wrote:

In between laughing say some healing prayers for panda who is having surgery on Tuesday.

thanks,

doxie

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Awww, thank you Doxie!  I feel each and every prayer, dear!Panda

Your jokes are better than any medicine that they could give me!

[doxie1]

USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK:

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me

You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I bolded some of my favorites

[doxie1]

What did Noah do for a job?
He was an arkitecht!

What's that fly doing in my gravy?
Looks like the breast stroke!

Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
Pupil: At launch time!

[doxie1]

Where was the Magna Carta signed?
At the bottom!

What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!

What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

[doxie1]

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?

Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

[doxie1]

Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?

Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!

[doxie1]

Teacher, I can't solve this problem.
Any five year old should be able to solve this one.
No wonder I can't do it then, I'm nearly ten!

What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte!

[doxie1]

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
He couldn't control his pupils!

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to?
Pupil: Nobody I know!

[doxie1]

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!

Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

Where did knights learn to kill dragons?
At knight school!

[MoonDance]

"Naked is when you got no clothes on...nekked is when you got no clothes on and you're up to no good".

Hi Doxie...just came in to wish everyone a safe and happy 4th...