Among Friends

[doxie1]

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

[doxie1]

headlines

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

[doxie1]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone

doxie

[doxie1]

The football-playing turkey

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

[doxie1]

Billy: Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?

Joe: Beats me.

Billy: Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!

[doxie1]

Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use fowl language.

Q: What's the most musical part of a turkey?
A: The drumstick.

[doxie1]

Why can't you take a turkey to church?

They use FOWL language.

[doxie1]

Thanksgiving is great because people tend to speak less when food is lodged in their mouths.

My husband doesn't think housework is a full-time job.

So for Thanksgiving I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold.

[doxie1]

What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?

A poultrygeist!

[doxie1]

Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorcing. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.

When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving.'

Julie phones here parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up.

The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way.'