Among Friends

[doxie1]

Q: Who do fish always know how much they weigh?

A: Because they have their own scales.

[doxie1]

A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this" said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it's rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. Thats when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?", asked the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, "Hey! This looks like yours!"

[doxie1]

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?

A: A twelve-foot toothbrush

Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

[Panda lady]

Doxie,

I absolutely love your jokes!  They all make me smile!  As I continue to recover, that is so helpful!

Panda

[doxie1]

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

Nurse: No change yet.

[doxie1]

panda-

I am glad the laughter is helping you heal.

doxie

[doxie1]

Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.

Doctor: How do you feel?

Patient: A little down in the mouth.

[doxie1]

As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"

[doxie1]

Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?

Doctor: A shoebox.

[doxie1]

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?