Among Friends

[doxie1]

Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark?

A: a yardvark!

Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

A: Swimming trunks.

 Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A: A taxi driver.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?

A: a thesaurus.

doxie

[willomenia]

Is it me, or does Shawn look like bam bam tonite in that dress?

[doxie1]

Why is everything delivered by a ship called cargo but if it's delivered by a car it's a shipment?

Man delivers load of bubblewrap. Where do you want this he asks. Just pop it in the corner was the reply.

 A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He said, "Call for backup."

doxie

[doxie1]

Don't tell a secrets in a cornfield.

There a too many ears

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Why do you drive down a parkway but park in a driveway?

fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.

I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.

 I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.

doxie

[doxie1]

Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver

 I have never seen a fruit PUNCH and a cereal BOX

If you think of a better fish pun. Let minnow.

" I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist."

Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?

l

[doxie1]

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted."

I've just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There's no menu, we just give you what you deserve.

I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.

Today I gave my dead batteries away....Free of charge.

Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.

I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.

doxie

[doxie1]

Q: I can run but not walk, have a mouth but can't talk, and a bed, but I do not sleep. What am I?

A: A River.

[doxie1]

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a frog?

A: A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!

Q: What is a tree's favorite drink?

A: Root beer!

Q: What four letters will frighten a burglar?

A: O I C U

doxie

[doxie1]

Q. What did the pink panther say when he stepped on the ant?

A. deadant deadant deadant deadant.

Q: What kind of bird sticks to sweaters?

A: a Vel-Crow.

Q: Why did the insomniac man get arrested?

A: He resisted a rest

doxie

[doxie1]

Q: Did you hear about the guy who's whole left side was cut off?

A: He's all right now.

 Q: What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer?

A: Arriba McEntire.

Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?

A: Because he was a paleontologist.

 Q: Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases?

A: Their making headlines...