Among Friends

[Shanus]

@rms1954   When this has happened to me, I try to think back when it started and sometimes there's an event that triggered it. 

Many times it's the news and I now limit myself to 10-15 minutes only...there's never any GOOD news on TV.

[colleena]

@rms1954  For me, I had to do what was best for me not everyone else who said I should feel this way, should do this, should not do this; I learned that we all are different & handle grief differently.  So, if it takes me a little longer or I need to cry or I need to stay in bed longer it's okay as I'm doing the best I can for me.  For me there's no right or wrong just what I can do now.  & lots of good advice here about support groups.  Just know you are doing what you need to do & that's absolutely okay.

[smoochy]

@Pink123  I too had the experience of not remembering who all was at my son's funeral. Embarrassing when running into people months or years later and they referred to it and I stood there clueless. The entire day was such a blur, like I was in a fog. I still have big holes in my memory about it. Was in shock I guess. I remember my knees buckling in the parking lot when we got to the funeral home. I said I can't go in. My husband and daughter took my arms and guided me inside. 

[Greeneyedlady21]

@rms1954 I hope you will try a grief support group, I know how much it takes to even try it because I did it myself. So you are brave and will never make a "fool of yourself". There are people there who are all probably thinking the same thing about going to the group and having the same feelings. And it's perfectly ok to have those feelings. 

I never thought I could do it and talk about my deepest pain in front of others, but I did. And it helped me. Many times I just listened and that helped me just as much if not more. I will never forget the note that someone in the group wrote to me and how much it meant to me at the time. Thinking back on it if still has that same meaning.

[Teddixat]

@rms1954   Oh my!  That is so very sad.  I cannot even begin to imagine that sadness.  I;ve never had children, but I know the love a parent has for their child is love like none other.  Abd to lose him that way has to be even more difficult.   I don't have any words to offer to bring you comfort,  maybe a support group with people who have had the same experience would help.    And yes, you are right, nothing will ever be the same for you.   I just hope you can find a way to get through your days

[Lucky Charm]

Returning to your thread, after reading about your family's displeasure, I'd say you need to deal with that/them, also.

If they lived under my roof, I'd open the front door until they all left. If its extended family, I'd lock the front door and ignore the doorbell.

NO ONE should tell a mother how she should feel in this situation. Not even the father.

[Pink123]

---

@smoochy wrote:

@Pink123  I too had the experience of not remembering who all was at my son's funeral. Embarrassing when running into people months or years later and they referred to it and I stood there clueless. The entire day was such a blur, like I was in a fog. I still have big holes in my memory about it. Was in shock I guess. I remember my knees buckling in the parking lot when we got to the funeral home. I said I can't go in. My husband and daughter took my arms and guided me inside. 

---

@smoochy  You understand.  It is so very hard.  I wouldn't even enter in the church until my mother ran out into the hallway and said come on the priest has entered.  I only wanted my stepdaughter near me and with her help she pulled me in and I sandwiched myself between family.  Almost hiding?  Was I thinking this is nothing more than a dream?  Oh yes, when I came out of the fog it was real alright.  I think at first for myself I was in shock and just numb to it all.  Hence the blackout.  I don't think our brains can handle these hard stresses.

You understand as so many others.

[katie1859]

The country is in a terrible place.

Are you a person of faith? If so, sit in quiet time, with pen and paper.

Write down what comes out of your spirit.

I've been praying and my readings reveal that my sadness is the surrounding conditions.

It's overwhelming, and heavy. It's layers upon layers and sometimes it feels like you can't

Get out from under it 

I have a routine to get away everyday from the chaos.

I walk.

I read.

I get in my garden.

I things of shifting my sadness to do an encouraging thing for someone else.

I start a project. Mine is to declutter and build a capsule wardrobe.

I gave both my beagles baths yesterday to release heaviness.

You are not alone. I know so many people who are dragging or have knots feeling 

Sadness. 

Here's the deal too. I sincerely believe we are being pushed on, to feel the oppression

I'm sorry this has caused you sadness and I will keep you in my prayers.

It's a time of dire need to pray.

God speed -

[rms1954]

I saw this today and it hit home.  Just thought I'd share it.

[ECBG]

This is the best writting on death that I have found.  A person still has work through the steps of grief.