Reply
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,826
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend

I agree with another poster to send an “I’m thinking of you” gift basket. 

F/N/A luvstogarden
Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,858
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend

I wouldn't send food to an out of state friend; the family/friends/neighbors will have that covered for the post funeral reception.  I'd send a condolence card or letter and a lovely plant.  She lost her husband but that doesn't mean she's in need of food.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,934
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend

        I have often sent a warm, cuddly blanket to family/

friends who have just experinced a loss!  Always appreciated!! When living thru such an event, I really just wanted to be alone, close the door and cuddle with a blanket.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,337
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend


@kitcat51 wrote:

All the food & other things that arrived when my husband died I immediately gave to family & friends, I just didn't want to deal with it....well maybe the truth is I couldn't deal with it. I did open & read all the Sympathy cards, I deeply appreciated all the heartful notes written inside & I still have them. 

 


 

@kitcat51- that’s really interesting. When my dad passed away almost two years ago and people sent me sympathy cards, it was too overwhelming for me.  So much stuff coming at me all at once.  I’d read them at the kitchen table as soon as we’d bring them in from the mailbox. I’d read each card quickly and immediately would shred them.   I wanted no part of keeping them to read again. Maybe it just made his death too real to me or something. 

 

On food, I’d do exactly what you did. It would go to someone else or I’d have thrown it away. Too overwhelming. I’m kind of a grieve and put myself back together in private kind of person. I can’t handle too much coming at me at once. 

 

My sympathies to you @kitcat51 on the loss of your husband. 


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,373
Registered: ‎07-29-2014

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend

Comforting carbs - like the English muffins, scones, and tea breads from Wolferman's.

"Smart people learn from everything and everyone, average people only from their own experiences."
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,647
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend

I'd make sure first that your friend wants/needs more food. Sometimes it gets to be overwhelming to deal with.....I've been through that and it was hard to figure out what to do with it all.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,369
Registered: ‎09-15-2016

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend


@gidgetgh wrote:

@kitcat51 wrote:

All the food & other things that arrived when my husband died I immediately gave to family & friends, I just didn't want to deal with it....well maybe the truth is I couldn't deal with it. I did open & read all the Sympathy cards, I deeply appreciated all the heartful notes written inside & I still have them. 

 


 

@kitcat51- that’s really interesting. When my dad passed away almost two years ago and people sent me sympathy cards, it was too overwhelming for me.  So much stuff coming at me all at once.  I’d read them at the kitchen table as soon as we’d bring them in from the mailbox. I’d read each card quickly and immediately would shred them.   I wanted no part of keeping them to read again. Maybe it just made his death too real to me or something. 

 

On food, I’d do exactly what you did. It would go to someone else or I’d have thrown it away. Too overwhelming. I’m kind of a grieve and put myself back together in private kind of person. I can’t handle too much coming at me at once. 

 

My sympathies to you @kitcat51 on the loss of your husband. 


Thank You & I'm sorry about the loss of your father. Everyone grieves differently but I think the one thing most have in common is being overwhelmed.The cards for me were a blessing, I did read them again about a year later when I felt so lost & then tucked them away in the visitation book. I know it sounds ungrateful but the endless flowers, plants, gift baskets, casseroles, sandwiches, cakes, pies, candy was difficult to deal with & those darn fruit trays are so much work since you have to put each fruit separately in a container & get it in the refrigerator right away....I could barely get out of bed but had to keep track of who sent what for the Thank You notes, just wanted all of it to go away. I understand about being private person, I don't cry in public & didn't at the funeral. Accepting the loss of a loved one is a long road. I wish you well.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,231
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend


@corita wrote:

        I have often sent a warm, cuddly blanket to family/

friends who have just experinced a loss!  Always appreciated!! When living thru such an event, I really just wanted to be alone, close the door and cuddle with a blanket.


A few years back, I remember this being a gesture that was passed down, from friend to friend.  I think this is absolutely a terrific gift.  I may think harder to remember this idea from now on.  I think that much of it being such a good idea. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,858
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Food ideas to send out of state friend


@corita wrote:

        I have often sent a warm, cuddly blanket to family/

friends who have just experinced a loss!  Always appreciated!! When living thru such an event, I really just wanted to be alone, close the door and cuddle with a blanket.


 

        I like that idea.  A lot...   After mom passed, I was in a haze of grief and I remember bursting into tears when I saw all that food in the dining room and kitchen.  My body and mind hurt but I had to figure out what to do with it all.