Among Friends

[goldensrbest]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@pigletsmom wrote:

No one was balancing the check book? it doesn't sound like she was trying to hide it if she wrote the reason on the check. I'd ask your brother about it. How come your brother is never held responsible for any of these things?

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Because he is also a victim of this evil woman who thinks she is "family".  Have to wonder if the OP brother feels the same way about her husband as she feels about his wife.

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No ,i think he is responsible also,he is a grown man.

[hckynut]

@hyacinth003 

Dealing with the death of a parent is hard enough for all of us. Some of us know the negative things that are happening, or not happening, in the final years/months of a parents life, I did. Even close families experience things that are unpleasant, or worse.

I do not know you, but I have known of many families, that turn into different people during the times I previously mentioned, and some even moreso after a loved one dies. Your sister-in-law told me who she was and is by what you have said in your post.

You didn't ask a question so I will not say any more about your situation and discovery. I am sorry for your loss of your father and send you my sincere condolences.

hckynut

[Imaoldhippie]

@CrazyDaisy ................There is no way the brother did not know what the wife was doing.  An expensive car does not just show up on your door step.  Brother had to know where the money came from.  He is even more guilty than wifey because that is his father and sister.  Shame on brother.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@Imaoldhippie wrote:

@CrazyDaisy ................There is no way the brother did not know what the wife was doing.  An expensive car does not just show up on your door step.  Brother had to know where the money came from.  He is even more guilty than wifey because that is his father and sister.  Shame on brother.

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Agree, he knows yet everyone keeps blaming the evil sister-in-law of wrong doing.  And again no one knows the conversations or agreements the father had with them before he passed.  Maybe he wanted his son to get his "dream car" and see his reaction.  Parents give gifts to their children all the time. 

[CelticCrafter]

@hyacinth003  When you say checks that you can't account for, do you mean blank checks or checks that have been written but not cashed?

If it's blank checks I would go to the bank and close that account pronto.  Open an estate of account. 

Who cares if there were automatic payments set up under the old account.

[gidgetgh]

You’re the executor. I’d close that account today,  that four people have access to, and open an estate account today with only you as the authorized signer. 

I’d be afraid they’d drain the original account if they have access to it. 

Call me paranoid....

[Anonymous032819]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Imaoldhippie wrote:

@CrazyDaisy ................There is no way the brother did not know what the wife was doing.  An expensive car does not just show up on your door step.  Brother had to know where the money came from.  He is even more guilty than wifey because that is his father and sister.  Shame on brother.

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Agree, he knows yet everyone keeps blaming the evil sister-in-law of wrong doing.  And again no one knows the conversations or agreements the father had with them before he passed.  Maybe he wanted his son to get his "dream car" and see his reaction.  Parents give gifts to their children all the time. 

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Yes, parents give gifts to their children all the time, but this check of $14,000 was written at the end of his life, when according to @hyacinth003 , his mind had deteriorated significantly.

THAT is what makes it so suspicious.

If someone who is in the advance stages of Altzheimer's,and they don't know who you are, or basic, fundamental things, like the days of the week, they don't have the capacity to make educated decisions, and it is so incredibly easy to con them out of $$$.

For all we know, one of them stole a check and filled everything out themselves, without his knowledge or concent.

That is theft, plain and simple.

And that is not okay to do.

[kare29]

Hyacinth,

I have not read all of the posts on this thread but thought I would mention perhaps you should be closing this account out if other people have legal access to it.

I am sorry for your loss and understand how money and or greed can effect a family in times like this. 

[CrazyDaisy]

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@Anonymous032819 wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Imaoldhippie wrote:

@CrazyDaisy ................There is no way the brother did not know what the wife was doing.  An expensive car does not just show up on your door step.  Brother had to know where the money came from.  He is even more guilty than wifey because that is his father and sister.  Shame on brother.

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Agree, he knows yet everyone keeps blaming the evil sister-in-law of wrong doing.  And again no one knows the conversations or agreements the father had with them before he passed.  Maybe he wanted his son to get his "dream car" and see his reaction.  Parents give gifts to their children all the time. 

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Yes, parents give gifts to their children all the time, but this check of $14,000 was written at the end of his life, when according to @hyacinth003 , his mind had deteriorated significantly.

THAT is what makes it so suspicious.

If someone who is in the advance stages of Altzheimer's,and they don't know who you are, or basic, fundamental things, like the days of the week, they don't have the capacity to make educated decisions, and it is so incredibly easy to con them out of $$$.

For all we know, one of them stole a check and filled everything out themselves, without his knowledge or concent.

That is theft, plain and simple.

And that is not okay to do.

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The ability to make a rational decision is a medical assessnment, not a personal opinion.  Did any medical person make that determination?   Was it known to all?

The father could have been having conversations concerning this money for months leading up to the issuance of the check, maybe he was waiting for a check or some investments that paid a dividen at the end of June.  That is not theft.

Also the amount of  $14,000 not an issue, it is all relevant.  If you only have $30,000 it is substancial, if you have 2,000,000 it may be pocket change.

Way to many things are unknown, yet everyone just jumps on the bandwagon to slander people who may have done nothing wrong.  All based on one persons word.

[Anonymous032819]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Anonymous032819 wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Imaoldhippie wrote:

@CrazyDaisy ................There is no way the brother did not know what the wife was doing.  An expensive car does not just show up on your door step.  Brother had to know where the money came from.  He is even more guilty than wifey because that is his father and sister.  Shame on brother.

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Agree, he knows yet everyone keeps blaming the evil sister-in-law of wrong doing.  And again no one knows the conversations or agreements the father had with them before he passed.  Maybe he wanted his son to get his "dream car" and see his reaction.  Parents give gifts to their children all the time. 

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Yes, parents give gifts to their children all the time, but this check of $14,000 was written at the end of his life, when according to @hyacinth003 , his mind had deteriorated significantly.

THAT is what makes it so suspicious.

If someone who is in the advance stages of Altzheimer's,and they don't know who you are, or basic, fundamental things, like the days of the week, they don't have the capacity to make educated decisions, and it is so incredibly easy to con them out of $$$.

For all we know, one of them stole a check and filled everything out themselves, without his knowledge or concent.

That is theft, plain and simple.

And that is not okay to do.

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The ability to make a rational decision is a medical assessnment, not a personal opinion.  Did any medical person make that determination?   Was it known to all?

The father could have been having conversations concerning this money for months leading up to the issuance of the check, maybe he was waiting for a check or some investments that paid a dividen at the end of June.  That is not theft.

Also the amount of  $14,000 not an issue, it is all relevant.  If you only have $30,000 it is substancial, if you have 2,000,000 it may be pocket change.

Way to many things are unknown, yet everyone just jumps on the bandwagon to slander people who may have done nothing wrong.  All based on one persons word.

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Obviously you have not dealt with a parent who has Altzheimer's and seen them decline in front of your eyes, and watch helplessly as this awful disease ROBS more and more of who they are with each passing day.

As a caregiver you KNOW what they are, and are NOT cabable of.

You don't need a doctor to confirm what you already know.

It's damm scary how FAST Altzheimer's can advance.

You have NO idea how quickly it can progess.

I do.

Until you have experienced that, you don't have the foggiest clue as to what you are talking about.

There is a reason why scammers LOVE old people.

It's because it is so easy to con them out of $, "official" diagnosis or not.

And with "family", it's even easier.