Finding out things - Page 4

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

@hyacinth003, I'm really sorry for what you are dealing with. I know you only want to do what is best and what is right. Your SIL is dishonest, greedy, and deceitful so I hope you are working closely with an attorney. It is a shame, but there are many others like your SIL. I wish you all the best in getting everything resolved.

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

@hyacinth003, I´m talking about when everything is settled. I would ask the lawyer about funds they received while your dad was alive.

My friend had the same problem with her sister. The sister had gotten large sums of money while the dad was alive. My friend was told by her lawyer to deduct what her sister received earlier, otherwise it would not be shared equally.

I think she´s upset because now you know what she was doing, Wonder if your brother knows? Maybe your dad gave her permission but it´s still a part of the estate.

Mj12 · ‎03-09-2010

@hyacinth003 wrote:
In the ongoing saga of my father's passing, I have just found out something else.

I have access to one of his accounts, a checking account. I am writing checks to pay bills, and monitoring it for credits and debits that were set up automatically. I have been notifying those who he did business with that he has passed away.

For example, the company he got a pension from (to stop it), his insurance company (to cancel his policies), find out how to file claims on policies that may owe his estate, etc.

FYI, Social Security gets notified right away by whoever handles burial or cremation. They had posted a payment and took it away within about 24 hours!!

The account has some checks I cannot account for. My dad had 4 people on his account so we could all pay for his needs or shop, etc. So before I asked my brother and sister-in-law about them, I decided to go and look back for them.

What I have found out is they were using his account for all of their gasoline purchases. I never asked for anything like this. Then I got what is a shocker to me. I found an almost $14,000.00 check written by my sister-in-law to a bank, with a notation on the check "Corvette." My brother got a new Corvette around Christmas, 2018. I was happy for him and have consistently showed interest and asked for photos, etc. I remember my sister-in-law saying "I just paid off the Corvette." She is an electrician and works a lot when work is available and they have no debt (to my limited knowledge). She drives a Cadillac Escalade. I don't care what anyone has, especially my own brother. I am happy if he is living well. I love him.

She wrote this check in July, 2019. My father was a generous person, especially to us. My shock comes as my dad was not mentally competent in the last months of his life. I would have felt uncomfortable asking him for money in the last 6 months. Maybe in a dire emergency, but not for a Corvette. Over our lives, my dad helped me financially at times, and I assumed he helped my brother. I never asked, and don't know. It was his to give.

I am totally surprised by seeing this.

Hyacinth

@hyacinth003 I really hope you terminated the bank access for her and the 2 other individuals.

I'm sorry what you are finding out about her I am sure it won't be the last "surprise" for you in the next year or so. Try to just realize the kind of person she is, don't waste a moment thinking 'why did she do this'. Focus on yourself; losing a parent is one of the hardest things we go through in life.

pigletsmom · ‎11-21-2011

No one was balancing the check book? it doesn't sound like she was trying to hide it if she wrote the reason on the check. I'd ask your brother about it. How come your brother is never held responsible for any of these things?

pigletsmom · ‎11-21-2011

@Sage04 wrote:
@hyacinth003, I´m talking about when everything is settled. I would ask the lawyer about funds they received while your dad was alive.

My friend had the same problem with her sister. The sister had gotten large sums of money while the dad was alive. My friend was told by her lawyer to deduct what her sister received earlier, otherwise it would not be shared equally.

I think she´s upset because now you know what she was doing, Wonder if your brother knows? Maybe your dad gave her permission but it´s still a part of the estate.

Honestly I find this outrageous. Parents can give money unequally to their children all they want when they're alive. This shouldn't be part of estate stuff at all.

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

@hyacinth003 I'm so sorry...what a disappointment. The only comment that might be appropriate is just take time to reflect before taking any actions. Families and money....a very sensitive and revealing subject. I respect you for stepping in and performing the duties that your father would have wanted you to do. Take comfort in that you have been a dutiful and and loving daughter.

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

@pigletsmom wrote:
No one was balancing the check book? it doesn't sound like she was trying to hide it if she wrote the reason on the check. I'd ask your brother about it. How come your brother is never held responsible for any of these things?

Because he is also a victim of this evil woman who thinks she is "family". Have to wonder if the OP brother feels the same way about her husband as she feels about his wife.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

I think now you know why she was so upset to find out that your brother wasn't a co-executor.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

I'm not sure the money is "part of the estate" since the SIL got it before he died.

The question becomes - was he capable of actually giving it to her - or did she essentially steal it?

That is what will tear the family apart - if it isn't already.

I would discuss it with the lawyer to see how to proceed. However, if the only way to settle it is via a lawsuit, then I problably would let it go - rather than lose more money to lawyers fighting it out.

I would definitely let both brother and SIL know that I was aware of it though and if I were letting it go, I would advise them of that along with how very disappointed I was with both of them.

It's sad what money does to some people.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

To me this is plain and simple deceit, i would not hesitate to contact lawyer, find out what he thinks, if the car was for him,or her it is just wrong to do that,i would not let it pass.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.