Finding out things - Page 3

Nuttmeg · ‎03-09-2010

Your brother and sister--law would not have told you about the money used from the checking account.

I would just speak to an attorney about this matter

You don't want any trouble in the future.

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

@VaBelle35 wrote:
Are you sure you should be using his existing account?

My mother had to set up an estate account. She could no longer use the account that he had even though she was a signer on the account. Once my uncle passed, that account was frozen and she no longer had the authority to write checks on it.

I'm sorry you found this information out and I am sure there is more.

I agree with taking the high road, even though it's tough.

It all depends on how the account was set up in his lifetime and will vary from state to state based on their laws.

I continued to use my Mom's accounts to handle her estate matters after she passed. All perfectly legal based on how things were set up. The $$$ spent to develop a good, solid estate plan is definitely well worth it.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

@hyacinth003 - you need to speak with your attorney regarding this matter ASAP, and let your attorney have whatever conversations may be necessary with your brother and SIL. If they did indeed take advantage of your father, and it can be proven, the attorney is the best person to handle it.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Well that explains a lot of her behavior. How stupid to write Corvette in the memo line - it's basically admitting she stole money to buy a car. I'd politely ask if they would mind if you deducted that amount from the settlement. Of course she will yell and scream, but at least your brother will have a chance to be a stand-up guy.

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

@FrostyBabe1 wrote:
@VaBelle35 wrote:
Are you sure you should be using his existing account?

My mother had to set up an estate account. She could no longer use the account that he had even though she was a signer on the account. Once my uncle passed, that account was frozen and she no longer had the authority to write checks on it.

I'm sorry you found this information out and I am sure there is more.

I agree with taking the high road, even though it's tough.
It all depends on how the account was set up in his lifetime and will vary from state to state based on their laws.

I continued to use my Mom's accounts to handle her estate matters after she passed. All perfectly legal based on how things were set up. The $$$ spent to develop a good, solid estate plan is definitely well worth it.

Thanks! This would have been New Jersey in 2018.

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

The "Corvette check" changes everything about this situation for me.

I don't think SIL is mad because she doesn't have control. I think SIL is scared $hitless that you were going to find that check (and whatever else is out there).

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@hyacinth003 Parents gift their children money when they’re alive & well.There is nothing wrong with that. That shouldn’t be deducted from the receivers inheritance unless that was part of the arrangement.However, if someone takes money from someone not capable of consent that’s illegal.

If you have a good relationship with your brother you have a decision to make.You should atleast speak to him & tell him that amount will be deducted from his share of dad’s estate.

I know someone who’s ex went to the bank & forged her dying MIL’s signature & withdrew $35,000!! He found out about it a few weeks later.He would have had her arrested but for the sake of their 2 young kids he let it go.But he is making her pay it back.

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

You have to know all the accounts he had and if anyone was named as beneficiary.

Anyone who was a signer on a checking account had access to write checks from that account and whatever checks were written from that account prior to his death were legally written.

If he had a safety deposit box you need to find out who were signers for that box.

Everything is not clear cut.

Even though everything was left to your brother and you if only one of you was named as the beneficiary on an IRA, those funds are not part of the estate but belong only to the beneficiary. It is listed as an item of an estate.

Banking rules do differ state from state to state however all regulations are not clear cut.

Your father left a will, you are the executor and the lawyer who did the will is the one who can guide you thru this.

Who received your father's bank statements when he was alive.

You used the word accounts. If your dad had an account which he made someone a beneficiary of, like a grandchild, you would need to notify that person he was the beneficiary of that particular account.

Somertime · ‎09-18-2010

@hyacinth003 I'm so sorry you are dealing with the shock of your SIL's actions regarding your father's account. In regard to the unkind comment that you are slandering your SIL, you are not! I have no doubt that you are sick to your stomach at this point as to the actions taken by your brother and SIL. There is no point, legally, to pursue this matter. It is water under the bridge. Yes, you can deduct both amounts from your brother's proceeds but your SIL sounds like the type to take legal action against you. I would continue to investigate to see if other monies had been used for their personal expense. I would make a list and get copies of the checks and hold onto it. It will be leverage for you to use to stop your SIL from interfering in your duties as an Executor. I would keep your brother at arms length at this point. I would not have "conversations" with him. I would put into writing asking him about what items of furniture he would like, etc. If the assisted living requires you to remove all of your father's possessions by a certain date, I would take pictures of everything, hire a mover and place everything in storage and then notify your brother of your actions and send him the pictures and ask him what items he would like.

I am sure you are aware that your relationship with your brother has changed. It is another loss you will have to deal with. I would, certainly, accept the Executor's fee in light of the previous actions taken by your SIL and brother regarding your father's checking account.

The hurt and the loss you are, now, dealing with is another strain upon you. It is a wound that runs deep. Whatever actions you take at this point will be the best for you and that is what is important to get you through this very, very difficult time.

Travone · ‎10-14-2016

You have to decide if a future relationship with your brother is worth more than the money is to you. If you bring it up, deduct if from his share of the estate, or bring in a lawyer, it could sever the entire relationship you have with your brother. From what I understand, you really don't have a problem with him, it is with his wife. (As an aside, I wonder if he even knows where the money from the car came from).

Good Luck to you.