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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,120
Registered: ‎04-17-2015

Re: Feeling a little hurt today

[ Edited ]

@findingjoy wrote:

He has called me 4 times already today, after I told him this morning that we needed to sever this relationship.  This is what I mean - he calls me 5-6 times a day, I really do not call him.  He constantly asks me to dinner, and also is readily available to help with any work around my house.

 

So he has made it easy for me, stay friends with him and he is there if I need any work done. 

 

I would not be comfortable keeping this up if he is marrying her.


Then you shouldn't.

 

This story sounds eerily familiar. Anyone else? Remember the poster who couldn't get over her ex, who had a girlfriend.... and they still spent time together. Did he even stay in her house?

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,783
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Feeling a little hurt today

[ Edited ]

@findingjoy

 

Stop taking his calls.

 

When the phone rings, let it ring.

 

Do not call him back.

 

By taking his calls, you are allowing him to continue to hurt you.

 

Find someone else to do the work around the house.

 

I know it will be difficult, but it really is the best thing you can do.

 

Something is going on with him, but it is NO LONGER YOUR PROBLEM.

 

He's made his intentions clear by marrying another.  Make your's just as clear.

 

Again, stop taking his calls.  Limit your communications.

 

Today.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Feeling a little hurt today

I think it sounds like you still have deep feelings for him, and maybe thought he did for you, even living with another women, do you take the chance and say nothing to him about the possibility of you two getting back together,or forever say nothing?

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,439
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Feeling a little hurt today

I haven't read every single reply, but I'm thinking (right now) that I'd cut off all ties.  No 'friendship/just being 'friends', etc.  Sometimes men (for years and years) will be overly nice to their ex's in order to avoid paying out excessive alimony/child support, monetary requests, etc.  It's possibly a financial thing.  Not saying that this is the case in this situation, but who really knows.  Anyway, I'd put an end to his phone calls.  The adult children can visit them whenever they want, and no need to communicate with him in person or on the phone.  Well, that's my viewpoint, so far.   Just keep your life refreshingly simple from now on. 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,439
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Feeling a little hurt today

p.s.  Just ask your neighbors/friends for referrals re: reliable handymen.  It's worth it, in more ways than one. 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Super Contributor
Posts: 373
Registered: ‎12-17-2014

Re: Feeling a little hurt today


@SaRina wrote:

@findingjoy wrote:

He has called me 4 times already today, after I told him this morning that we needed to sever this relationship.  This is what I mean - he calls me 5-6 times a day, I really do not call him.  He constantly asks me to dinner, and also is readily available to help with any work around my house.

 

So he has made it easy for me, stay friends with him and he is there if I need any work done. 

 

I would not be comfortable keeping this up if he is marrying her.


Then you shouldn't.

 

This story sounds eerily familiar. Anyone else? Remember the poster who couldn't get over her ex, who had a girlfriend.... and they still spent time together. Did he even stay in her house?


 

@SaRina

 

This?

 

"qvc chick"


https://community.qvc.com/t5/Among-Friends/EX-HUSBAND-WANTS-TO-RECONCILE/td-p/1955782/highlight/true

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,652
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Feeling a little hurt today

@findingjoy, I agree with @Witchy Woman and others who said end the phone calls.  This guy is having his cake and eating it too.  Because your children are grown, there is little need from a parenting perspective to have steady contact with him.

 

Make a commitment to look after yourself and make yourself a priority.  There is nothing from this relationship that will help you.  He didn't even have courage to tell you himself.  He used his children to deliver the message.  

 

Best wishes to you.  LM

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,658
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Feeling a little hurt today


@findingjoy wrote:

He has called me 4 times already today, after I told him this morning that we needed to sever this relationship.  This is what I mean - he calls me 5-6 times a day, I really do not call him.  He constantly asks me to dinner, and also is readily available to help with any work around my house.

 

So he has made it easy for me, stay friends with him and he is there if I need any work done. 

 

I would not be comfortable keeping this up if he is marrying her.


 

@findingjoy

 

There's your proof that he IS trying to string you along....he wants his 'cake' and eat it too.

 

For your own sake, don't let him....STOP answering his calls!

 

I've been in a very similar situation to yours and I truly understand how you feel.Heart

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,120
Registered: ‎04-17-2015

Re: Feeling a little hurt today


@charvale wrote:

@SaRina wrote:

@findingjoy wrote:

He has called me 4 times already today, after I told him this morning that we needed to sever this relationship.  This is what I mean - he calls me 5-6 times a day, I really do not call him.  He constantly asks me to dinner, and also is readily available to help with any work around my house.

 

So he has made it easy for me, stay friends with him and he is there if I need any work done. 

 

I would not be comfortable keeping this up if he is marrying her.


Then you shouldn't.

 

This story sounds eerily familiar. Anyone else? Remember the poster who couldn't get over her ex, who had a girlfriend.... and they still spent time together. Did he even stay in her house?


 

@SaRina

 

This?

 

"qvc chick"


https://community.qvc.com/t5/Among-Friends/EX-HUSBAND-WANTS-TO-RECONCILE/td-p/1955782/highlight/true

 

 


Wow! You are good, Inspector Charvale, lol.  How did you find that so quickly?

 

It's a shame that women put themselves through this kind of heartache. 

 

@charvale

Occasional Contributor
Posts: 7
Registered: ‎04-20-2017

Re: Feeling a little hurt today

I think I will concentrate on friends and family and take the advice.  There isnt any happy endings here