Among Friends

[Anonymous032819]

I am going to try and speak in general terms here, but there are people in this world who just vacuum the air out of a room. (Can't say the "S" word).

They may suffer from depression, or whatever, and whenever they are around, all they do is whine, and feel sorry for themselves, and take all the happiness and joy out of any event or get-together.

I am NOT saying that is what the o/p is doing, but there are people that whenever they are included in any event or get-together, everybody feels as though they have to tip-toe around them, for fear of upsetting them.

Usually there is a reason why family exlude someone from events and get - togethers.

It could be something that was said, done, or behavior in the past.

Again, I am NOT talking about the o/p specifically, just people in general.

[SeaMaiden]

@Pasta Lover   A lot of good advice  given here on this thread for you.

Please talk to your brother...call him. Email him or write him. I think it would help you to let him know how alone you feel. Perhaps it would reopen the closed door between you.

You did not mention why you have not spoken for three years....hopefully whatever the reason for the separation between the two of you can be worked out. I hope so.  At least it would be a new start. 

I broke off my relationship with my family years ago.  But, I am fine with it. You seem like you need your family. 

[Spacrazy]

Dear Pasta Lover,    

This whole situation sounds unfortunate and hurtful and only time will tell if it can or will be resolved.  Try with all your strength to be patient and if you are a praying person perhaps that might comfort you.  These are trying times for many and do whatever it takes to focus on caring fo yourself and stay strong.

You sound like a very caring and generous person and there are many in this world that would benefit from knowing you.  If you are able to volunteer there are many who could benefit for your time.  If you like animals they would return any kindness you could share even for a few minutes.

Its good that you reached out in this forum.  I saw lots of positive replies to you so you can read these over and over and be reminded of how many of us that appreciate you.  Good times are coming your way so you need to be ready.🌻🌷🌸🌼

[catwhisperer]

@Pasta Lover ...I am so very sorry. I can't explain why people do what they do. It's mind boggling. All I can offer you is a big hug. (((Hugs))).

[RetRN]

Based on talking with friends, I do not think it is unusual for family members to not get along. Many dysfunctional people lead to many dysfunctional families. I call my family eclectric, it is an interesting mix. I will always be there for them and I know they would be there for me. Do we spend a lot of time together? No. 

[Drythe]

@Pasta Lover 

{{{ hugs}}} to you.  🌹🌼🌸

Sorry you are sad.

[september]

@Pasta Lover   I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt, but I want to echo what some other posters have said....sending get-well cards is a nice gesture, but one that younger family members don’t do these days. 

It would be good to not judge people, based on what you would do. 

[ROMARY]

Generally speaking, I've finally figured out that some people just don't like nice people.

They can't 'relate' because they themselves aren't nice, and they just can't be nice, even if they tried (which they, obviously, haven't and they don't intend to).

Anyway, yes, the nephews/neices possibly have been trained 'a certain way', mainly by their probably very jealous parents.

'You know', talking about 'this and that', most likely fabricated or 'made up'. 

People who are very insecure tend to gossip and relay bad comments about very nice people.

It's a 'defense mechanism', imo. 

Wishing O/P the very best.

Find some nice neighbors, people in various crafting/art groups or local neighborhood events. 

There are so many nice people in each of our communities...........people who appreciate nice people.

I'm now thinking of Barbara Streisand's beautiful song:  "People". 

[ROMARY]

P.S.

'On the other hand', thank goodness that my mom and dad spoke highly of my aunts and uncles.

Nothing bad whatsoever.

So, from a young child, I'd always write thank you notes to them.  Always.

It became 'automatic'.

And I always had good feelings about them.

Nobody could turn me away from my good feelings.

That's because I was raised with good thoughts.

No jealously whatsoever, because of my parents' good thoughts.

It's so easy to 'brainwash' children in good ways, and, sometimes, unfortunately, in bad ways.

Just 'move on', and enjoy being around the goodness of the many other good people in your area.

[Silver Lining]

@Pasta Lover , I'm sorry you are sad.  I wouldn't worry about younger relatives not sending cards. Many people don't send or receive greeting cards. Regarding your nephew, since he is your godson and told you six months ago about the party, he probably considered it a personal invitation. If he later heard you were upset because you didn't get a written invitation, he had his daughter hand deliver one to you. I hope you went to the party. if you didn't, you need to drop it.