Feeling Betrayed, How Should I Deal - Page 7

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

@Moonchilde Here's a link to a pseudo-scientific web site that seems to combine astrology and interviews with people born on each day to come up with a profile of each day's birthday. http://www.thesecretlanguage.com/report/personology/?r=00000722

I found it this year as I looked up the horoscope for my own birthday on Memorial Day weekend. It's fun, though I don't know how accurate it it is. They claim to have interviewed people born on each day and come up with a psychological profile. It's probably not accurate, but it's fun. They give the good and the bad.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@Ms X, I think maybe 4 of 12 fit for me 😜. It definitely doesn't read like a typical Cancer. I had a birth horoscope done once and I'm Cancer with Cancer rising - yow. I'm also a Myers-Briggs INFJ, so Introversion Iz Us.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

bootsanne is expressing the way she feels and has been up front about it. She even asked, "do I have legitimate feelings"...."Am I expecting too much" and wanted to know about "other posters experiences". That tells me she is trying to find a way to deal with these feelings.

We all need to vent sometimes. We all have to look at our feelings and examine them in our minds and hearts and see what is the best way to "see" whatever situation we find ourselves in. There is nothing wrong with that.

I think there have been a lot of presumptuous statements made here. She was being very honest about her feelings. Don't we all struggle with our feelings at times....and the "right" thing to do. We can't help what we feel but we can help what we do with those feelings and she is seeking advice here. Openly asking.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

@Moonchilde wrote:
@Ms X, I think maybe 4 of 12 fit for me 😜. It definitely doesn't read like a typical Cancer. I had a birth horoscope done once and I'm Cancer with Cancer rising - yow. I'm also a Myers-Briggs INFJ, so Introversion Iz Us.

@MoonchildeDid you read not only your day but your week? My birthday week was the same as the week for a good friend's fiance. She used to say we were exactly the same. Oddly, she would complain that he didn't open his bills when they came, though he was IMMENSELY the more fiscally responsible one of the couple. (I believe in the description of our week it actually mentioned not opening bills). I do EXACTLY the same thing!!! When I visited this fabulous couple in New York, I and her fiance would talk on and on and on about the news of the day. She would complain that he read the paper (this was the early '90s) and ignored her. Were I her, I would have been going ON AND ON AND ON about what was in the paper, as I did when visiting. I guess that's why we both got along with her. She would call me when they had a fight and I would tell her what a great guy she had. Of course I would think that because we were so much alike.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

I have a large family and we always had big get togethers at MY house when my husband was alive. Once he died, physically, I couldn't do it on my own and I decided I didn't WANT to do it on my own.

So, we don't have ANY get togethers anymore. No one wants to go to the trouble. We all still love each other and connect on FB and through my brother, etc.

I used to get upset when my husband was alive because I would work myself to death. I was the one who sent the cards, gave the gifts, etc.

I remembered something he'd say, "If you don't want to do it....don't". But if you do want to do it....do it because you WANT to, just don't expect others to feel like you do.

These people love and care about you (my thoughts) but everyone is into themselves these days and busy with their families.

I know it's difficult, but it's just not worth worrying about it. You are ahead of some of us. Your husband is alive. Many of us are widows. Want to know about widow? If you are a widow, if you don't do it, it doesn't get done. Worst of all there's no one to back you up.....like...."Remember when we (did this or that).

My dear friend lost her husband over 20 years ago today. She's only 60 years old.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@jaxs mom wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
Honestly, I think it is the way of the world now. Older people are not viewed in the same way as they used to be. People now want entertainment and excitement and seem to have to be in constant motion. They think older people don't have much to offer them. If only they knew. They see us as being from the "dark ages". They don't see that combining the old with the new is the better way to learn. That way you get new fresh ideas and old standby wisdom. What could be better than that! More and more, I see the old pairing off with the old and the young with the young. Not a good thing in my opinion. I realize that not everyone is like this....it has just been my observation as of late.
Going by the constant complaints posted on the Q boards about the younger generation it seems that not everyone values combining the old with the new. They just want the old way.

******** I understand what you are saying. I am not trying to justify it. I think there is room for both. Some people experienced the happiest times of their life when they were young and healthy and tend to go back to what brought them the most joy in life. As we get a little older we have to be careful to remember....things don't stay the same and grow where we our planted and find joy in life no matter what! Deep down in, I think most of us realize that.

Toppers · ‎01-01-2015

@bootsanne wrote:
These last 3 years have been very hard on my family. We're an older family, with nieces and nephews almost the same age as uncle and aunts. We have had several deaths and the few of us older ones are doing our best to have get togethers which always turn out to be very enjoyable. However, it seems the minute the get together is over, there is zero contact, no texts, no phone calls, basically nothing until I plan another get together. But the biggest blow has come recently. I had a horrible operation which is taking me quite a while to recover. I have a visiting nurse who comes daily. I see the surgeon almost on a weekly basis, pcp visits, etc. I have no kids so my nieces are my closest family---or so I thought. The one who lives 6 miles from me has been here once, but she did come on a regular basis when I was giving her shoes, clothing, and tons of meals for her widowed father. We spoke nightly, haven't heard a word in 2 weeks. My best friend--haha--who I have known and loved like a sister for 38 years, never visited me once-we live 12 miles apart. She did however make a 2 hour plane trip to visit someone she knows in Florida.. So if it hasn't been for my husband, who really stepped up to the bat, my SIL and brother--2 of the best people in the world--and 2 of my husband's nieces, I feel totally abandoned and betrayed by what I thought were my support system. I've always been there with homemade soups and dinners at times of illnesses and death. And also generous with money. So do I have legitimate feelings of betrayal? Am I expecting too much? Do other people have similar experiences?

I understand your emotional pain.

When you have a heart that loves and gives like this, you can't seem to understand when others don't.

However, like others have already said, I too would just focus on those in your life who are already "there" in your life for you, and stop trying with those who don't really seem to care.

I speak from personal experience too, as painful as it is. I kept putting effort into relationships where it didn't seem to matter with those on the other end.

When I stopped trying so hard, there was absolutely no effort from the other side. I had to stop, for my own peace of mind.

MsLomo · ‎03-09-2010

@PamfromCT wrote:

@Deanie wrote:
"Givers need to learn to set limits because takers don't have any."
I completely agree with this statement. I do think the OP has every right to be hurt by the people who have ignored her in this situation. You learn to treasure, even more than ever, those people who have shown you appropriate attention. Believe me, it is not only young people who are self-absorbed. A person has only so much emotional and physical energy, and it is a sad lesson when you learn those you have poured your heart and energy to don't reciprocate in the smallest way. Yes, be grateful to true friends and learn to put others who don't "on another shelf." I've been through this and learned the hard way. I hope this OP heals completely, with the support of those who are true to her.

Nicely said. (((Hugs))) for the OP.