Family Problem - Page 2

sweetee2 · ‎06-21-2015

I sorry, I'm probably going to get beat up for this but I think your brother and SIL should be ashamed of themselves.

You said that she calls them " all the time to take her to her Dr. appointments and shopping trips." If she has that many Dr. appointments don't you 3 think you need to be there to see what's going on?

Also you expect a 97 year old women should be going shopping ALONE with a women the can hardly speak English .

I just don't understand the baby boomers generation.

drizzellla · ‎03-14-2010

Several years ago, my Mother-in-law used to have a van pick her up and take her to Doctor's appointments and take her to the nursing home to visit her husband. She did not drive. But the State provided this service free of charge.

All she had to do was call and say where and when the Doctor's appointment was or when she wanted to visit the nursing home. Maybe you could ask at a Senior Center near your Mom's and see if there is a similar service.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@sweetee2 wrote:
I sorry, I'm probably going to get beat up for this but I think your brother and SIL should be ashamed of themselves.

You said that she calls them " all the time to take her to her Dr. appointments and shopping trips." If she has that many Dr. appointments don't you 3 think you need to be there to see what's going on?

Also you expect a 97 year old women should be going shopping ALONE with a women the can hardly speak English .

I just don't understand the baby boomers generation.

We are going to have to disagree on this.

My in-laws are in their 90's and don't drive anymore.

My brother-in-law and his wife live 5 minutes away, we live in another state.

My in-laws rely on Office of the Aging transportation and car service to get where they need to go. I think it would be extremely unfair for them or us for that matter to expect my brother-in-law to be their private chauffeur.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I think your first mistake and it was a big one was hiring a caretaker who can't drive. Driving and running errands is huge part of a caretaker's duties. I do think that you or your brother should use your apps to order the cars for her. In this way, you know all the details of the trip and you can monitor right from your phone. You know when she gets picked up, when she arrives. The cost. Hubby and I look out for an elderly gentleman in our church. He's 95 and has outlived his family and friends and his money. Hubby takes him to the barbershop and for rides. He has a car but he doesn't drive, his part time caretaker drives him but when she is off or on vacation, hubby orders an Uber or Lyft for him. If your mom doesn't already have a smart phone, I think that would be too much for her.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

@sweetee2 wrote:
I sorry, I'm probably going to get beat up for this but I think your brother and SIL should be ashamed of themselves.

You said that she calls them " all the time to take her to her Dr. appointments and shopping trips." If she has that many Dr. appointments don't you 3 think you need to be there to see what's going on?

Also you expect a 97 year old women should be going shopping ALONE with a women the can hardly speak English .

I just don't understand the baby boomers generation.

I agree, the brother should step up, the op has her hands full with her husband. Sounds like a 97 yr old ,has to take care of herself, i think this is terrible.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Montana · ‎03-09-2010

@sweetee2 wrote:
I sorry, I'm probably going to get beat up for this but I think your brother and SIL should be ashamed of themselves.

You said that she calls them " all the time to take her to her Dr. appointments and shopping trips." If she has that many Dr. appointments don't you 3 think you need to be there to see what's going on?

Also you expect a 97 year old women should be going shopping ALONE with a women the can hardly speak English .

I just don't understand the baby boomers generation.

I don't know if this is a generational failing, but I also think your brother should be ashamed for treating his mother this way.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

I am taking in all suggestions, with many thanks. I'll look into more services in Mom's county. I did that a couple of years ago but she rejected the suggestions. Maybe I missed some. I should add that my mother is sharp as a tack. Physically, though, she is very limited. Her mobility is compromised after she broke her hip two years ago and her heart condition makes her tire easily.

As one of the posters noted, finding a good aide is more important than her driving abilities. I will work hard at coming up with some ideas. Since my mother has no car, we need to come up with alternatives. Her neighbor babysits for her grandchildren so she is not always available. Yes,my brother should step up more but it doesn't look like he will. With my husband's illness, there's just so much I can do. Mom never wanted to move to my town. I accept that but it does create challenges these days.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

I know my mom has many appointments,hair,doctor,dentist,foot treatments,.The doctor appointments usually lead to seeing a specialist and on it goes.She has something going on with one specialist or another weekly.Then you add their appointments to your appointments and you spend half your time traveling from one place to another.I think it is not fair to the person who must spend their time in waiting rooms.I think the shuttle buses are the best as they have training and equipment to load persons with health related disabilities.

FranandZoe · ‎03-09-2010

You or your brother should contact the Area Agency on Aging in your area to see what might be available for her. Or the local State Social Services Dept. (Welfare Dept or Health and Human Services.)