Re: FB Friend Deleted

shoptilyadropagain · ‎03-19-2014

I've been deleted by FB friends over the years and my reaction has always been......"oh well....their loss". The only time it really bothered me was my best friend from elementary school. We hadn't been close since junior high/high school but I looked forward to reconnecting and seeing her family on FB.

I don't remember ever defriending anyone but I do have several that I have "unfollowed". We're still friends on FB but their posts do not show up in my timeline. This is especially true in an election year.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown

software · ‎06-08-2016

@drizzellla wrote:
@on the bay wrote:
I thought you couldn't tell if someone deletes you as a friend?
That's what facebook tells us isn't it?
I had no idea you could tell if someone deleted you as a friend.

It must not be too hard.

I deleted a cousin last year during the presidential election, she was stalking me.

Every time I posted something positive about my candidate, she would reply with her snarky comments. Even when I posted on someone else's page. I don't care that she has a different opinion, I got tired of being stalked.

So I un-Friended her and it wasn't a minute later I got a TEXT message (she's a relative) upset and disappointed that we can't get along.

This is a grown woman in her 60s!!

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

I pare down my FB friends to the people I actually have a relationship with and/or care about. I'm not one to collect every person I have ever known and friend them. We need to have something in common and be able to exchange info or opinions. Having 'friends' just for the numbers is childish IMO. Ironically the people I am closest to do not have FB.

If someone doesn't like what I post or unfriends me for whatever reason, that's ok. If we really have a friendship it will survive whether or not we are friends on FB.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@jackthebear wrote:
@TenderMercies wrote:
Have you ever discovered that one of your Facebook friends deleted you as a friend, but you can’t figure out why? This has happened to me a few times over the years. Not only does it make you feel bad and dumped, but more than anything, it makes you feel confused. I recently got a text from my old boss telling me that a former coworker of ours had unexpectedly passed away. I went to his FB page to see if there was anything posted about him being sick or traveling, etc., and I discovered that we were no longer friends. Just tonight, I realized that I hadn’t heard from another friend and former coworker in quite some time, so I went to check out her page and found that she also had deleted me as a friend. This one really hurt, because I considered her a good friend and actually helped her out quite a bit over the years. In both of these instances, both people had several of our mutual friends and coworkers on their friends list, so it’s not like they deleted their account or started a new one. If this happened to you, would you contact the individual to ask why they deleted you, or would you just let it go?

The clue here is an old boss, no reason to still be friends on Facebook, just move on.

Sometimes people just clean out their friends' list. This is probably what happened here.

Don't' stress over it. I have done the same, people I no longer will see or have a personal relationship with have been deleted from my list.

IMO I would not "refriend" that is annoying. In this case, a text is sufficient to express sympathy at the death.

I agree with all of this. There are friends and there are "friends". Time passes, things change. It doesn't mean the person suddenly doesn't like you or that you've done something wrong or that they're tossing you out of their life. If someone wants to make FB more manageable for themselves, then they should do that.

I think it's a huge mistake to take this kind of thing personally.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@reiki604 wrote:
I pare down my FB friends to the people I actually have a relationship with and/or care about. I'm not one to collect every person I have ever known and friend them. We need to have something in common and be able to exchange info or opinions. Having 'friends' just for the numbers is childish IMO. Ironically the people I am closest to do not have FB.

If someone doesn't like what I post or unfriends me for whatever reason, that's ok. If we really have a friendship it will survive whether or not we are friends on FB.

That's it in a nutshell! Exactly how I feel too. Nicely said! :-)

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@Nataliesgramma wrote:
I agree with Melvin @Moonchilde.....there are many reasons people unfriend....

I wouldn't lose sleep over it....

@Nataliesgramma, I think you misdirected your comment to me instead of the OP. I’ve said I don’t lose any sleep over it; no angst here.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@software wrote:
@drizzellla wrote:
@on the bay wrote:
I thought you couldn't tell if someone deletes you as a friend?
That's what facebook tells us isn't it?
I had no idea you could tell if someone deleted you as a friend.

It must not be too hard.
I deleted a cousin last year during the presidential election, she was stalking me.
Every time I posted something positive about my candidate, she would reply with her snarky comments. Even when I posted on someone else's page. I don't care that she has a different opinion, I got tired of being stalked.

So I un-Friended her and it wasn't a minute later I got a TEXT message (she's a relative) upset and disappointed that we can't get along.

This is a grown woman in her 60s!!

in a case like this, you should just unfollow the person, and they can post away and you will never see their stuff.

I did this during the election and never looked back. For all I know they are still at it :-)

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

My criteria for my FB friends is very simple. If I died tomorrow would they miss me? Would they come to my funeral, send flowers or a condolence note to my family?

If the answer is “No” then why do I want them as FB friends?

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@shoptilyadropagain wrote:
I've been deleted by FB friends over the years and my reaction has always been......"oh well....their loss". The only time it really bothered me was my best friend from elementary school. We hadn't been close since junior high/high school but I looked forward to reconnecting and seeing her family on FB.

I don't remember ever defriending anyone but I do have several that I have "unfollowed". We're still friends on FB but their posts do not show up in my timeline. This is especially true in an election year.

Unfollow is a wonderful thing!

dineshmt · ‎11-30-2017

If that person really matters to you, just call them out. Talk to them and try to understand the problem.

Same thing happened with me a few months ago and I headed to google for my answers. One artile that I read had some nice points, one of which was

Call them the hell out

This part is fun. If you're not really worried what these people think about you, publicly expose what they truly are—cruel. Cruel jerks. They'll get their comeuppance. These unfrienders think you probably won't even notice, and if you ever do, you'll be too apathetic or nervous to say anything about it.

But bringing up the vile act—either online or in person—will shock them to their core. They'll be taken aback that you're enough of a weirdo to bring up a Facebook unfriending. Watch as they stammer excuses, stutter, and try to explain. They'll offer to refriend you. "It was a mistake! Oh, how did that happen?" They'll feel bad and weird and guilty. They'll feel something, which is better than Facebook's typical emotional feedback void. Sure, it's trolling, but it'll make you feel better without any kind of real moral transgression. The Internet should always be making you feel better.

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