Among Friends

[jeanlake]

This is a favorite truth statement I enjoy reflecting on; especially when my mind races. Dr. William Ury (Negotiation and Mediation guru) passes along this wisdom in his work on dispute resolution. Do you also find this statement to be true in your life?    

[qualitygal]

Hushed voice.  It's hard for one person to argue alone.

[jubilant]

When applied to a mind that is racing, I would agree.  At some point you need to learn to recognize what your brain is doing and stop in your tracks.....especially if you are disputing something.   After that you take actions to bring your thoughts back under control.  Once you can do that, you can put things in perspective more easily and focus on the end results.  Even in everyday life, you can use this to keep yourself from getting "worked up" and making mountains out of molehills.  Sometimes, at least for me, it is necessary to stop and meditate or pray and put whatever it is aside for awhile....or at least until I can gather some "sane" thoughts!!!!  

[chrystaltree]

I don't get it but I do know when that when I'm in a frazzle about something and I don't know what to do or where to go or what to say.....I have to steady myself, stay calm and quiet and STOP thinking about the issue.  After that things fall into place.

[dex]

@chrystaltree Perfect interpretation of what the op posted.

[LurkyLoo]

With dispute resolution especially, that requires love over pride. A lot of the head noise is often blame shifting, self pity and the need to be right. Often times you are right to some degree- and have been wronged. Replaying it on an endless loop doesn't benefit anyone. Just keeps the pain and anger fresh, allowing it to control your thoughts and actions. No one can think straight to resolve anything to satisfaction when depressed and/or enraged. That's turmoil and can lead to defeatism- or worse. 

Yes, stop.. get quiet and I pray. I ask the Lord what He is trying to reveal to me and how I can best work through it with result of peace for all concerned. It may mean walking away, but in forgiveness- harboring no ill will that is self-destructive. This has been true of some who deliberately continue to bear false witness. Spreading hurtful false rumors about those I love. I had to woman-up and tell them, I refuse to be a party to such malicious gossip by listening. I can best forgive you this way, from afar. 

Others, I came to realize needed to be heard and better understood. Let them relieve themselves of the head noise tormenting them, and let them know that I could have and should have loved them with more kindness. It's okay to apologize for being imperfect, since we all are. I need the forgiveness from others, and I must be willing to give the same. Put into perspective.. Would it matter who was more right in the conflict if one of you dies tomorrow without making amends? 

By trusting that all of life's lessons, as well as blessings are given to benefit the greater good within our potential- these tests have a GOOD purpose.. I can better focus on how to endure them. Even if some are impossible for me to conquer at this time. Those I offer up to God. The faith to leave them there takes practice, but can lead to the ultimate peace. Even though our hearts may be broken, we survive and hopefully grow stronger in spirit. Better, not bitter. 

More like Job, rather than his wife, who suggested that he "curse God and die." 

[Regal Bee]

When I am troubled or upset, I take to my sitting room and sit and think. I allow my mind to flow around the troubling area until I find peace. (This has nothing to do with age....I have always done this.)

I think our whole society doesn't know how to sit and be still. The constant and never ending rushing troubles me and always has. 

[YorkieonmyPillow]

[blackhole99]

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@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

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What a peaceful sight. I have two huge maple trees out in the field from our house, I named them after my grandmothers. I just have to hang swings from those trees after seeing this photo.

[jeanlake]

There's a phrase - Going to the balcony - which signifies:

• Virtually taking yourself away from your immediate environment
• Pausing
• Taking a deep breath of fresh air
• Viewing your world with greater perspective
• Resuming with a more peaceful, balanced demeanor

My balcony is the old, oak tree in the backyard of my childhood home. I imagine climbing the branches once again for a glimpse of the bigger picture. The tree swing posted could easily serve as my balcony as well. Lovely.