Among Friends

[drizzellla]

@BunSnoop I settled my parents estate. Their wills were in a safety deposit box that the bank would not let me access. They died within 5 days of one another.  (I was unable to get into their safety deposit box at the bank because I only had Power of Attorney). So it took me over a year to settle their estate.

Not sure what kind of investments you have. If your money is in financial institutions, you will need a Death Certificate for each institution. If you have stocks you will need a Death Certificate for each Company. You will also need a Medallion Signature Guarantee for each stock. I got 25 Death Certificates and I ended up with 2 left over.

Also you will have to know the municipality taxes. My parents died in the city of  Philadelphia. Their estate I think I was taxed a straight 6%. We even had to pay tax on their clothing.

So make sure you pick a Lawyer that is familiar with local, state and federal taxes.

One other thing. My girlfriend was telling me. Her Mom had an Estate Lawyer handle her will. It wasn't until her Mom died that my girlfriend saw the will. The Estate Lawyer put into the Mother's will that he was to get 15% of the Mother's Estate. So please be mindful of any added charges the Lawyer might charge in the future. (The Mother had sold a business with buildings and ground). So the lawyer did very well.

Please read and make sure you understand everything BEFORE you sign anything.

And also don't forget to change the name on utilities - electric company, gas company, phone, insurance and local municipalities for taxes etc.

You don't know how sorry I am that you are going through this. It was a rough time for me and I hope it will be easier for you. 

[Roscoe the Rascal]

My husband died a year ago.  I was able to handle everything  and mostly what was needed is a copy of his death certificate.  I did not run into any big issues.

Make a list of all the accounts, life insurance policies and things of importance and go down the list one by one and get things changed over or notified  of his death if needed to.  

Try not to become overwhelmed and it takes some time but just one thing at a time. The sooner the better in my opinion.  Keeping busy helped me tremendously.

I am sorry for your loss and not easy and takes time.  It is a big change.

I wanted to add that some places take a copy of death certificate and I ran off a few at work.  My husband had some things in his name and I had  some in mine.  I did redo my will and  also have a power of attorney designated and a living will.  I made sure my bank accounts have my daughter listed as beneficiary.  

I handled all the changes myself.  Takes some calls and letters mostly. 

[Sooner]

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@BunSnoop wrote:

My husband passed away a few days ago.  We did not have a will.  In the near future, after I receive copies of his death certificate and after I'm feeling up to it,  I plan to contact an estate attorney to get a will made for myself. I also need help from the attorney with what I need to do with the passing of my husband regarding bank accounts, Roth account, automobile titles in my husband's name only,  house deed, credit cards in his name only, etc.

When I call for the appointment I'll ask what they need for me to bring, but at this time I'm curious  -  did you have to bring all of the paperwork to the initial visit?   

My will I "think" will be considered simple.  As for my husband, I "think" besides having everything with his name transferred to mine I don't think it will be too involved.   If you had a similar experience, approximately what was the cost.  

I'm totally overwhelmed with everything but it appears on advise that I've received the first thing I should do is resolve financial issues.  

If you can help me it would be very much appreciated.   Thank you!

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@BunSnoop I am so sorry to hear that you lost your husband.  And dealing with all of these things can be overwhelming.

If I were you, I would contact your county court house about deeds and see what they say.  It might be simple.  

Also, the banks, insurance agents and others before you go to the attorney.  You might save yourself some money by not having to have an attorney's input on a lot of this.  I have always found people are happy to help out and give your information.

A lot of this is routine for them, so take advantage of their knowledge!  So sorry, and best wishes and prayers that this all will go smoothly.  

[San Antonio Gal]

I am so sorry for your loss @BunSnoop .  Please take care.  

[BunSnoop]

@Sooner, thank you for the great advise and something I definitely did not think of.  Yes, I agree I should first ask each agency (banks, brokerage company, utilities, DMV, etc.) and see if I can take care of what they need and then leave the ones I can't resolve for the attorney.  I just have so many things on my mind I honestly did not even think of that!  Thank you!!!

I went yesterday to my brother's home for Easter dinner.  On my way driving there I could not even remember whether or not I had put my little dog in his crate where I always place him when I leave home.  My mind is just going crazy.  I sometimes think I should be just grieving the lost of my husband and be doing nothing else, but then I think there is so much to do that I must get at least something done each day.  

My husband did not want any type of service so I did not need to contact everyone with details concerning a service, but there are still friends I should be notifying.  I guess I'm so busy on the phone with the people that I did tell that I just don't feel like explaining everything again over and over to more people.  I'll reach out to the others in time when I think I can handle it.

It seems like when I finally settle down during the evening it's when it gets very difficult for me.  Eating dinner by myself, watching TV shows that we had previously watched together.  When I'm busy I'm not constantly thinking about him but I can't over do being busy as I can tell, especially when I wake up in the morning, that I'm totally drained and exhausted.  Hopefully as everyone has said  - time will heal.

Thank you again for your kind words and great advise.

[Sooner]

@BunSnoop Glad I could help a little!  I remember having to sell a boat to myself as my uncle's exec, then having to file as the new owner for a lost title!  Sometimes these things need a little creativity!

But best wishes and prayers for you, and I think you will be able to deal with many of thees things in relatively simple ways.  Make yourself a list and check it off so you can see your progress!  

[LindaLatte]

I am very sorry for your loss, BunSnoop.  

Many have provided excellent advice.  But, I thought I should share my experience just in case it might provide some additional insight.  

My second husband had a will, however, he developed Alzheimer's disease shortly after he established it with a man he believed was an estate attorney.  (Very long story, but it turned out he was a disbarred attorney and had just done the paperwork needed.)  

Fortunately, after he developed Alzheimer's, I found a local attorney who offered a free 30-minute session for new clients.  She explained that it would be extremely difficult to change his will due to his illness, and I should just come back after he passed. 

When he died a few years later, I first called or visited the financial institutions, broker, utility companies, etc., etc. 

We had some joint accounts, but he had several in his own name.  While some of the places said no problem, just bring in or mail the death certificate (do get plenty), others told me that it would have to go to probate.  For most people, probate takes time plus is expensive (I found this out when my Mom passed).

I took notes on the probate ones, and took all the information to my attorney.  I can't tell you how happy I was when she said that the rules in Arizona (where we live) did not require probate unless it was above a certain amount of money.  (That was different than other States.  Very important that you have an attorney familiar with the laws in your area).  

She took the documents/information that I had and immediately faxed the companies affidavits (I think) explaining the laws in Arizona -- no need for probate and that they should close the accounts and transfer the money to the estate.  Some questioned her, but she could point to the law and things went smoothly.  

Most of the utility companies let me transfer the accounts to my name, but one said that I would need to set up my own account -- like I was a new customer, and pay the fees for being a new customer.  The  same thing happened with the cable company.   To avoid paying these fees, I just let his name stay on the account, but paid them (which I had been doing for years anyway.)  Several of my friends did the same.

I guess my message is that you might want to talk to all the financial institutions, utilities, etc., but not accept the need for probate or other expensive options until you talk to an attorney.  I hope you can find a good one who doesn't overcharge. 

Again, I am very sorry for your loss.  Be kind to yourself.

Hugs,

Linda

[Roscoe the Rascal]

I had to change my husbands jeep into my name and I thought it was going to be difficult to do and it was so easy that I said that is it and she said yes.  Things are easier when you are the spouse when your husband passes.    In fact when it was time to renew the license they sent me a notice saying I had  to change since his death.  They already knew it.  I could not renew on line like my other cars.

I still have direct tv in his name but no reason to change it.  They don't care as long as the bill gets paid.  

[CalminHeart]

When Dad died, the attorney gave us a questionnaire with a list of documents needed. 

I just had my Will, Living Will, Financial POA, and Medical POA redone. The attorney sent me a questionnaire by email to complete before I met with him. I also gave him copies of my old documents. 

[BunSnoop]

@LindaLatte, thank you so much for all of your very helpful advise and kind words. 

I cannot believe that people I have never met on this board have taken so much time to provide me with what they have learned through their experiences and offer to me so much wonderful information. 

I appreciate so much the time you took to help explain things and I'm very sorry what you have go through over the years.

As my mind is not functioning great these days I plan on coming back to this thread often to re-read everyone's responses.  It will be so helpful as I slowly move through the process of trying to resolve issues.

Hugs to you too - thank you!