Among Friends

[NYC Susan]

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@Katcat1 wrote:

@mom2laxboyz,    First of all her family has no business sending you hateful emails.  Tell the to butt out.  Your penpal has a lot of nerve to come into your home expecting to stay 10 days.  Stay at a motel.  You are not the maid to clean up after them, cook, etc.  Yes, you grossed me out when you talked about the husband blowing his nose and then picking through food in the bowl.  Yuk!  Next time you get a nasty email tell them that story.  How dare your penpal expect you to put her and her husband up like you are a bed and breakfast.  Those days are over.  It's really stressful for the people accommodating the inconsiderate fools.  She owes you an apology.  

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I agree that the penpal owes her an apology.

But I wouldn't reply to her family members at all.  It's not their business, and it was inappropriate for them to get in touch with the OP.  There's no need to waste time or energy on them. I would ignore their correspondence, and not give them another thought.

[truffle]

@mom2laxboyz they sound positively dreadful. Truly a nightmare considering how you originally met. Penpals used to be ok for kids but with all the scams out there now I think the practise is highly questionable. If you can't trust a penpal of 50 years who can you trust?!. Schools should disban that...hopefully have. 

[SharkE]

Sound like they were incompatible from the get go. From 2 different worlds and lifestyles. You never know what is real online and what is not.

She had met these people before on vacations,  she said, so, wouldn't that had been a clue ?   I took with grain of salt.

[tends2dogs]

@mom2laxboyz  I think your sadness and disappointment stems from the fact that who you thought your friend was turned out to be a fantasy.  You met the REAL penpal when she showed up unannounced at your door with her hubby. 

You were ambushed, to say the least, and overwhelmed.  Now that you know the true colors of this person you had a 50 year relationship with, you will have to accept that that person really never exsisted.  The people sound like users.  The fact that you put up with it for 8 days is unbelieveable.  Too bad you didn't send them to a motel the first day, but that is water over the bridge. 

Hey, it is a tough life lessen.  I would no longer read her correspondance, let alone, any of her relatives'.  Move on and after awhile you can consider it good fodder for conversation.

[SaRina]

People like your friend, her husband, and their family absolutely disgust me.

No one comes to stay in my home unannounced.

You owed no one an apology.

I'd dry my eyes and realize that even though you've had a long-term relationship with your childhood friend, circumstances have changed and have rendered the two of you completely incompatible. It's sad, but it happens. I would move on and ignore any future communication.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@mom2laxboyzMay I suggest this doormat? Purchase immediately!  LOL

                                                

[shoppersince1989]

We had as a joke (kind of),  a "Get Lost" mat.

A co-worker liked  to show up when we were getting ready to have lunch.

One time we ate in front of him, and didn't offer him any.  lol

We later found out how filthy rich he was.

(No surprise)

[chickenbutt]

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YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@mom2laxboyzMay I suggest this doormat? Purchase immediately!  LOL

                                                

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Ooh, is that for real?  I love that.  Those who know me would get my sense of humor and that I'm not anti-social, in general.     That makes me smile.

[ROMARY]

I secretly think that apologizing was a mistake.  Well, 'Water under the bridge' right now.   Never give your internet friend and those particular family members the power by apologizing.  If you think about it, they should apologize to YOU.  Make no mistake, you were much too patient.  I would have found them a motel on the very first day.  And if they didn't have any money, I'd look for Hostels in your area, if they still exist.

[Moonchilde]

@mom2laxboyz, it didn't happen to me in the same way it happened to you (thankfully) but I can relate. I had worldwide penpals for many years.

While I was sharing a house with a roommate (who was born in the Netherlands as were all of her family members), a Swiss penpal I had wanted to meet me as she was vacationing in SoCal. Fine. She arrived with a traveling partner/friend. We didn't click as friends. Nothing especially unpleasant about her, we just would never be especially sympatico. Nothing horrible, nothing fun/great either.

My housemate and her family, however, fell all over the visitors (who stayed in a hotel as we didn't live close to any particular tourist spots) like long lost relatives and catered to their every whim as if it was somehow mandatory, which I found weird.

They finished their vacation, and once back home wrote that they'd had such a great time they couldn't wait to come back again next year. I was like whoa! But my housemate and her family insisted I must invite them back of course and this time they would of course stay with us and we would again of course chauffeur them anywhere and everywhere, taking our own vacation time to do so. I should note that these women worked high up in the banking and finance industry in Geneva and had triple my vacation time and double my salary (and I was well paid).

My reaction was that I didn't feel especially close to this woman and that I felt it was fairly presumptuous, and no, I was not interested.

Dutch family was 50% horrified, 50% totally angry at my reaction/attitude/response. I was "sat down" and informed that according to European manners, it was expected/assumed I would do this, and considered terribly, beyond-the-pale rude to say no and there was no way any well-bred European would ever say no to such a request.

I said great, they could be her chauffeurs & hosts then. Oh no, that wouldn't do. I would somehow be insulting them if that occurred. I put my foot down and said no. They responded, as if I were a child (was mid 30s), that they were "so disappointed in me." I said that frankly, I was equally disappointed in them.  This is what we do in Europe, they said. I live in America, I said; it's not what we do in America. This was a Bad Rude Thing about America, I was told, and I was behaving like a Bad Rude American.

Things had been rocky for a while, but it wasn't long after this that we parted ways for good.