Among Friends

[shoppersince1989]

This why living in a guarded / gated community is a plus................and

caller ID.

[vsm]

Sorry you are hurting.  But the fact is that your "penpal" is a moocher, her husband's a slob, and given how their relatives have behaved, these are obviously family traits!

[Financialgrl]

I'm a very private person - I had a very good friend invite himself to stay at my home and we'd drive about 40 miles away to a college campus town to restaurants and shopping in that area.  It took awhile but I told him flat out - "I don't like going to someone's home and I don't like someone coming to mine, it's not you".  He understood, we both went to the small town, walked around and had a blast and now I'll visit him and do the same thing - stay in a nearby hotel. 

You have to set this kind of stuff up well ahead of time - doing so means no surprises. 

[SharkE]

Sound like dead beat moochers I'd be glad to see the back end of 'em.

Probably how they vacation all the time. Free room and board, etc.

No loss.

[Msfitness]

@mom2laxboyz  Eight days of misery.  You did good.  I could not last that long without saying anything with that sort of behavior.  

[ROMARY]

OMGoodness........I'm going to dream about unexpected guests arriving at my door................

[SunValley]

@sabatini I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Yes, life is short. How lucky for you to have shared a beautiful friendship. 

[SunValley]

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@Silver Lining wrote:

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@NameAlreadyTaken wrote:

Oh, please allow me to tell you about my houseguest whom I had never met.  We were internet friends on a chat forum. She asked me if she could have my email address and I directed her to administrators and told them to please do so.  So over the years we emailed. 

My email contains my name in the tag line.  I had not heard from her in 3-4 years.   She seemingly disappeared but she was a faceless friend.  One day I am sitting in the doctor's office after not having heard from her in 3 years.  She tells me she is coming to visit me and gives me the date.  She says she plans to relocate in NYC and wants to visit me on her first visit to the USA in a couple decades. (She is American).  I am somewhat startled and the date is 3 months away so I assume she will tell me in the interim that she cannot make it.  We are talking from Rome as well here.  

Very little communication in the interim but time is drawing near and she gives me her ETA and destination airport, etc.,at which to meet her which for me is 125 miles.  She is not coming to one near me (mystery why not).  Remember I have never seen her.  She knows a lot about my schedule, that I attend weekly worship service, that I play bridge weekly, Canasta on alternating weeks and bunco and dominoes on the other weeks.  So I assume I can take her to card games and church with me (she is staying 2 weeks, she tells me as she is about to board.  She could be a serial killer for all I know.  She texts me a few hours before she leaves, shows me that she is packed, suitcase in tow, out her door so I will know what she is wearing and who/what to look for.    

Let's cut to the chase.  She had not bathed since the Vietnam war.  She told me she did not believe in bathing and deodorant is toxic.  We bathe everyday and at my my house everyone bathes at least every other day in winter.  She wanted to go out to eat constantly.  She would tell me what to buy her when we went to grocery store and what brand she did/did not like.  I was well sore of her before a week had elapsed.  We were definitely not speaking but for the rare "I wish I were away from this place, and back in my home."  I am not a mean person but I wanted to tell her I wish I had never seen her.  

She did not bring a single dress or slacks and I don't know about underwear but she never did laundry the whole time she was here.  She wore short shorts the whole time.  She wore a skort in flight, the same thing she wore back.  I forced her to bathe twice.  Bathing was the first run-in.  I took her to eat at the club the second night and my husband refused to go.  People stated at her, at me and no one who knew me spoke to me.  I tried to do things in the city and not in our bedroom community.  She kept asking to meet my friends.  I never introduced her to any unless unavoidable.  She claimed to be a professional artist who worked for the National Gallery doing something.. 

I have never been so happy to see anyone board a plane in my whole life. I waited until her flight lifted off and waved good bye for a long time. She wrote me from Rome and told me she was moving to Georgia (USA) and asked if I knew of any apartments in my area for rent as she had gotten a job in my area.  I never responded.

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@Nonametoday, you're a talented writer! What a horrible experience but described so hilariously. I came back and read it again, it was that funny.

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Agree! Lol.  Very amusing but what you had to go through is horrid.

[StraytoStay]

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@mom2laxboyz wrote:

A little more information ... she's never worked, her husband retired in his late 40s.  My husband and I are the same ages they are, but we still work.  And she knew I worked, as I had told her many, many times (how tired I am, can't wait for retirement, etc.).  We met up in Florida two years ago, we brought another couple, they brought another couple.  We had a great time.  We all stayed in separate rooms, obviously.  She and her husband "shared" everything -- from a breakfast muffin, cup of coffee, to a steak for dinner.  If the restaurant advised "no sharing," we'd all have to go to another restaurant.  I figured it was their way of saving money, AND they constantly complained that "American portions" are way too large, and in England they eat much less.

I never said, "Come anytime."  I have said, "When we retire, it would be nice to have you come for a visit." 

When they arrived, they ate like they were starving.  Every meal was a big anticipation, "What shall we have for lunch?  What shall you prepare for dinner?"  So many things bothered us ... my husband and I both called our jobs and asked for a week off.  I have ulcers and anxiety issues.  I'm on medication.  I told her on the second day that I wasn't feeling well and my stomach was so painful.  She said, "Shall we go to a motel?"  And I said, "I think that might be best."  But they never left.

Her husband used every inch of counter space, dining room space, etc. for his three laptops, cell phones, and ham radio with assorted plugs. In addition to the filthy footwear on the cream carpet, they constantly brought large glasses of pineapple, orange, grape juice to their bedroom and never brought an empty back to the kitchen.  When she proclaimed she forgot her shampoo and body wash, I offered her some of my Philosphy in the shower.  She drained almost an entire large bottle of Philosophy in 8 days.  I was anxious for them to leave.  By the eighth day, I was so drained, I asked if they could leave th enext day.  I just couldn't wait it out.

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That's horrible! I couldn't have done one night. I think, on your opening post, that the family butting in to scold you is out of line. It was between you and her, not them, so I'd suggest to not acknowledge their emails. It's more stress you don't need after that long week of heck.

[Katcat1]

@mom2laxboyz,    First of all her family has no business sending you hateful emails.  Tell the to butt out.  Your penpal has a lot of nerve to come into your home expecting to stay 10 days.  Stay at a motel.  You are not the maid to clean up after them, cook, etc.  Yes, you grossed me out when you talked about the husband blowing his nose and then picking through food in the bowl.  Yuk!  Next time you get a nasty email tell them that story.  How dare your penpal expect you to put her and her husband up like you are a bed and breakfast.  Those days are over.  It's really stressful for the people accommodating the inconsiderate fools.  She owes you an apology.