Ending Friendships ... - Page 3

Nonametoday · ‎03-09-2010

@Daisy wrote:
@Nonametoday

Yikes! Did your house stink after she left?

Why did you do all that for someone you hadn't even met or talked with in 3 years? Weren't you nervous about letting her stay with you?

I was very nervous the closer the time came. I thought she would cancel. You know lots of people say they are coming for a visit but you never really expect them. Yes, my house smelled. I hired a professional cleaning service to clean once she had gone. It was terrible. I threw away the sheets on the bed where she slept and had the room treated for tiny bugs.

Havarti · ‎03-08-2014

Very few friendships last a lifetime, that is why the ones that do are so very special. It is easier to like and get along with people the less you know about them. Those nine days put you into a whole new category with so much newly acquired knowledge about each other. Time to move on and remember those 50 years fondly…try to forget about the last 9 days of your relationship – the memoires are in the 50 years before that trip. Cherish the memories.

Snarky responders need not reply. Move along and share your views elsewhere.

Nonametoday · ‎03-09-2010

@homedecor1 wrote:
@Nonametoday

yikes you you are a better person than me - only a chat room friend would never taken her into my home! Would have dropped her off to motel/hotel and told her good luck!

She was a very interesting person. She was well traveled. She had some similar interests to mine. Then we had some very divergent interests like bathing and so forth.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

Short of some huge disaster, I can't imagine having people I've never met show up and stay in my house.

I must be selfish/mean/paranoid, but there is just no way. Even if I kind of offered offhandedly vaguely, I'd be rescinding that when it became 'real'.

Silver Lining · ‎04-16-2010

@NameAlreadyTaken wrote:
@homedecor1 wrote:
@Nonametoday

yikes you you are a better person than me - only a chat room friend would never taken her into my home! Would have dropped her off to motel/hotel and told her good luck!
She was a very interesting person. She was well traveled. She had some similar interests to mine. Then we had some very divergent interests like bathing and so forth.

LOL

Silver Lining · ‎04-16-2010

@NameAlreadyTaken wrote:
Oh, please allow me to tell you about my houseguest whom I had never met. We were internet friends on a chat forum. She asked me if she could have my email address and I directed her to administrators and told them to please do so. So over the years we emailed.

My email contains my name in the tag line. I had not heard from her in 3-4 years. She seemingly disappeared but she was a faceless friend. One day I am sitting in the doctor's office after not having heard from her in 3 years. She tells me she is coming to visit me and gives me the date. She says she plans to relocate in NYC and wants to visit me on her first visit to the USA in a couple decades. (She is American). I am somewhat startled and the date is 3 months away so I assume she will tell me in the interim that she cannot make it. We are talking from Rome as well here.

Very little communication in the interim but time is drawing near and she gives me her ETA and destination airport, etc.,at which to meet her which for me is 125 miles. She is not coming to one near me (mystery why not). Remember I have never seen her. She knows a lot about my schedule, that I attend weekly worship service, that I play bridge weekly, Canasta on alternating weeks and bunco and dominoes on the other weeks. So I assume I can take her to card games and church with me (she is staying 2 weeks, she tells me as she is about to board. She could be a serial killer for all I know. She texts me a few hours before she leaves, shows me that she is packed, suitcase in tow, out her door so I will know what she is wearing and who/what to look for.

Let's cut to the chase. She had not bathed since the Vietnam war. She told me she did not believe in bathing and deodorant is toxic. We bathe everyday and at my my house everyone bathes at least every other day in winter. She wanted to go out to eat constantly. She would tell me what to buy her when we went to grocery store and what brand she did/did not like. I was well sore of her before a week had elapsed. We were definitely not speaking but for the rare "I wish I were away from this place, and back in my home." I am not a mean person but I wanted to tell her I wish I had never seen her.

She did not bring a single dress or slacks and I don't know about underwear but she never did laundry the whole time she was here. She wore short shorts the whole time. She wore a skort in flight, the same thing she wore back. I forced her to bathe twice. Bathing was the first run-in. I took her to eat at the club the second night and my husband refused to go. People stated at her, at me and no one who knew me spoke to me. I tried to do things in the city and not in our bedroom community. She kept asking to meet my friends. I never introduced her to any unless unavoidable. She claimed to be a professional artist who worked for the National Gallery doing something..

I have never been so happy to see anyone board a plane in my whole life. I waited until her flight lifted off and waved good bye for a long time. She wrote me from Rome and told me she was moving to Georgia (USA) and asked if I knew of any apartments in my area for rent as she had gotten a job in my area. I never responded.

@Nonametoday, you're a talented writer! What a horrible experience but described so hilariously. I came back and read it again, it was that funny.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@Havarti " It is easier to like and get along with people the less you know about them. "

How TRUE it is!

I must be a ***** because I never invite anyone to my home, except family, of course, and they don't need an invitation..............I can't imagine someone just dropping in and announcing they're staying for ten days!!!!

They wouldn't even make it in the door! LOL

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@Havarti " It is easier to like and get along with people the less you know about them. "

How TRUE it is!

I must be a ***** because I never invite anyone to my home, except family, of course, and they don't need an invitation..............I can't imagine someone just dropping in and announcing they're staying for ten days!!!!

They wouldn't even make it in the door! LOL

@YorkieonmyPillow You should live in Phoenix during the "winter season"............I have a "waiting list" (!!!!!)

♥Surface of the Sun♥

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@GCR18 wrote:
I don't think I'd be so hard on her. She likely thought it was going to be a great time and you would love seeing her. I think once you let them in and showed them to their room, you were officially the host. The first time they wore their shoes inside, I'd explain the house rules. When the husband handled the food, I'd leave it out for him. All other food, I'd keep in the closet. I'd serve the meals on the plates and tell them the kitchen is off limits, they are guests. Then I'd make the best of it.

You could write her, explain your feelings and take it from there.

I disagree. Showing up unexpectedly for a 10-day visit is rude and inconsiderate. There's no reason why the OP should have allowed herself to be subjected to what went on. One night, maybe, but certainly not 10 days.

I think it's easy to say that there were ways around all of the annoyances, but living through it is something quite different. The OP did not have to be a doormat simply because these people decided to invite themselves for an extended stay and then not behave properly.

I'm a very social person, and I love to have guests, but there is no way I would have resigned myself to "make the best of it" under these circumstances.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@homedecor1 wrote:
@Nonametoday

yikes you you are a better person than me - only a chat room friend would never taken her into my home! Would have dropped her off to motel/hotel and told her good luck!

I wouldn't have even let it get that far. Once dates started firming up, I would have told her it wasn't a good time for me. Not only was she just a chat room friend, but there had been no contact at all for a period of years. I would have removed myself from the situation months before she got on the plane, and would have done it with no second thoughts at all.