EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE - Page 8

SleeplessinSD · ‎11-01-2010

I've read a few replies, not all, and I'm not familiar with this poster. My thoughts are this is a relationship of convenience. Convenient for her because it's easy to just continue their ongoing relationship, take him back and not make any effort to start a new life without him. Starting over requires strength and effort and facing the unknown alone. Convenient for him because he knows she's still waiting and hasn't moved on and it probably won't require much, if any effort on his part to have her back in his life. i really think everything depends on why he wants her back. If he left the other woman because he realized he still loved his wife, then it may work. If the other woman left him, then no. I do wish her luck.....I think I did read he's done this before😟

~H~

emmysmom · ‎06-22-2010

@qvc chick wrote:
Many of you know the background here....ex husband has new girlfriend, went to my daughters graduation dinner with her...she was not the least bit friendly, however I did try to be nice to her.

Two months later - my ex has told me he does not love this woman, and still and always had strong feelings for me, and he is very conflicted. He has been going to therapy, which I think is a good first move.

I DO still have feelings for him, but I don't know about getting back with him.

I am a romantic and I belive in LOVE, But...I took my ex back TWICE, and both times he continued cheating and broke my heart..would never want to see someone go through this..!

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
-- Mae West

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

Really? He's cheated on you more than once and you are seriously considering this? Romance has nothing to do with this, reality does.

I'd dumb him like a bad habit, but then I never had a husband cheat on me.

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

Now I am really curious!! Come back and post!!

I would say take it REALLY slow before any type of committment again.

He would have to EARN any entrance back into my life.

They had a long marriage and family together, but if he has done this MORE than once, wow, do you need to be cautious.

I had a long relationship with someone I loved very much and kept letting him back in my life. He ended up marrying someone else. Such regrets I have had.

CAUTION, SLOWWWWWWWW!!!!

Hyacinth

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

I sincerely hope that the OP has summoned the determination to spend some time with a counsellor and finally achieve CLOSURE with this sleazy guy.

However, as I've seen before, "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know" ... and it's too easy to fall back into bad habits.

I honestly hope she starts taking better care of herself.

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

This guy has been such a cad I worry about OP's mental and physical--think STDs--health. My guess he is a germy lazabout.

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

goodness no!!!!!!

After all you have written about him before. Don't be a convenience for him to use. Think more of yourself!!

debic · ‎09-02-2010

After being divorce for 7 years I'd think you'd be tired of the 'game' I imagine there were problems long before that or you wouldn't have divorced.

I just can't imagine being someone's door mat.

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@CouponQueen wrote:
I have read the various posts over the past few months.

First of all I don't think it is bogus but true.

I have never been in her position but can understand her feelings...it is familiar...she has been alone and they have remained close and good friends/buddies whatever...I am sure their problems are still going to surface but if he is in therapy that is a start!

I am going to be the lone ranger here and say go for it..go slowly...what does she have to lose at this point?? She knows how it is being married for 20+ years..she knows how it is being divorced from him...maybe they can both learn something from this and develop something new and different...merging the present and the future...and learning from the past.
I say get some couples therapy and who knows..nothing wrong with seeing what it may lead to..you know your heart...the good and bad.

Good luck.

I think she has a lot to lose. Her self-esteem for one thing, which has already taken several beatings from this guy. She's also in danger of wasting even more years of her life. And of sending all kinds of wrong messages to her daughter.

She also can lose the chance of meeting a nice guy, a good person who would truly love her and cherish their relationship. And the opportunity to learn to love herself and to realize that she can be happy without a man in her life, and that she doesn't need to settle for someone unworthy just so she won't have to be "alone".

I understand what you're saying, but this man has been given lots of chances, and apparently has made her miserable a great deal of the time. Many of us have been urgng her for quite awhile to go for therapy so she can learn to let go of him and live a happier life. By her own account, he has cheated, treated her badly in front of others, and on and on. He's a creep and she has trashed him repeatedly. That doesn't sound like a love match to me at all. Even now they sound pretty lukewarm about each other.

So I really do think that she should move on. Precisely because IMO she does have quite a lot to lose.

KittyGurl · ‎05-11-2010

Don't play that game with yourself. You are better than that. It almost never works the second time around. Especially if you cannot totally trust him. Do yourself a favor and move on!