Reply
Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,643
Registered: ‎03-28-2015

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

dr phil.jpg

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,293
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

What jumps out at me is you have "feelings" and he is "conflicted." That seems pretty luke-warm on both sides doesn't it? I would think long and hard about this.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 54,410
Registered: ‎03-29-2012

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

@qvc chick

He is your EX husband for a reason.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

Seems most of us are in agreement. SSDD.
ALMOST sounds like he just wants a different 'FBuddy'.
There hasn't been enough 'distance' for you to view this clearly...distance physically AND emotionally.

Mark it in your calendars...one year from now. Don't see or talk to each other for 1 whole year...THEN re-evaluate the rest of your life. I would lay odds your feelings for him would have changed by then.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,112
Registered: ‎12-08-2014

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

Does he really want to reconcile or is he just having a hard time being single?  I wouldn't be quick to reconcile.  If he says he wants it and if you do; you should both go for some couples counselling to make sure you are doing the right thing for the right reasons. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,652
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

He is doing to GF what he did to you. No change in behavior except that it's the GF this time, not you. Do you have that inner voice telling you not to fall for this? I hope so. Good luck OP poster. You need to think long and hard on this one. What's really changed? If you do decide to move in the direction of a relationship with him, make him do all the work and clearly define your conditions. The minute he makes a move with another woman, you should be gone, gone, gone,
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

Sure. Get back together with him. Your decisions about your ex have always been great ones. Look at how well your choices worked out for you in the past! 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,309
Registered: ‎10-15-2010

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

[ Edited ]

In my lifetime, I've learned that many men and women always think the grass is greener on the other side. I've seen it in my family, with friends and in my past personal relationships.

 

I had a serious long term relationship with someone who after about 4 years began to take me for granted. We were both very young when we met. I broke up with him and moved on. I met my husband, went back to college and my ex wanted me to reconsider my decision to get married in 2012 and instead give him a chance for us to reconcile. I still had the same email address so he was able to send me emails and it seems he was keeping track of me on social media.

 

Meanwhile, the whole time we were together, he never proposed and began to take me for granted and act selfish and immature. He began to not appreciate me or the relationship and would go out a lot by himself like he was living a separate life. I decided for this and other reasons after close to 5 years that the relationship wasn't going anywhere and cut my losses. In those years I had given him more than enough opportunities to fix things. In life, you have to know when you have tried your best and it's time to move on for your own sake.

 

I think that your ex husband doesn't know what he wants. He seems to be the type that gets unsatisfied in his current relationship and then looks for something 'better'.

 

I did not go see my ex or give him and his proposal a second thought. Actions speak louder than words. Your husband seems fickle to me as others have noted. A close relative of mine is like this. I have seen firsthand that no matter who the person is or how the relationship is going there is always something wrong and the eyes begin to roam.

 

Go to therapy on your own and figure out what is best for you. Many times what we desire is not good for us. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should be with that person if they are no good for you.

~Live with Intention~
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,242
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE

[ Edited ]

He's an ex for a reason.  Dump him.  I would never go back to any man who cheated on me.

 

I'd rather be alone than with a man who made/makes me unhappy.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,954
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: EX HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE


@Lilysmom wrote:
He is doing to GF what he did to you. No change in behavior except that it's the GF this time, not you. Do you have that inner voice telling you not to fall for this? I hope so. Good luck OP poster. You need to think long and hard on this one. What's really changed? If you do decide to move in the direction of a relationship with him, make him do all the work and clearly define your conditions. The minute he makes a move with another woman, you should be gone, gone, gone,

Yes. He's making YOU the "Other Woman."

 

There may be some small satisfaction is being the mistress vs. the wife, but he's a dog and hasn't changed at all.

 

Forget about him, unless you enjoy being cheated on.