Among Friends

[Tinkrbl44]

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@turtlelgk wrote:

I have held back for many years about comments and questions from my sister in law. Recently she hurt both my husband and I and I just had enough. I told her how we felt. She denied what she said. Wants me to call her and talk. Will not do that. It has gone on to long. 

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 @Catiele

I'm sorry to point out what should be very obvious to you,  but if you just let it go for "many years", why are you mad it continued?  

If you had spoken up "many years ago" this most likely would have stopped.  You shouldn't put all the blame on your SIL .... you played a big part in this, too, by not speaking up.    The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@TX-starlight wrote:

Y'all are right, it bothers me, but not worth arguing over. I just don't like wrong facts. I did tell her, during the conversation, that I was not aware of another sibling. (Knowing I was right, since my son was bf with the younger son, & I knew the family well). I just drives me crazy when people repeat things wrong. 

(Sorry I even wrote this now).

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@TX-starlight

I've no way of knowing if this constantly happens with this friend ... or was the first time she misspoke  .... perhaps she was actually thinking of another family and it was honest mistake?  

Personally, I'm surprised so many here thought "total avoidance" was the preferable way to handle this.  I'm betting that many of them would also let a friend continue to walk around with toilet paper stuck to her heel and say nothing!   What is this? ... fear of "confrontation"?   Feeling superior to a misinformed friend?   No idea what this is about.

No one suggested a quick email to them, for example .....  "I happened to talk to so and so after our lunch and they said blah blah blah .....  I wonder who you were actually thinking about?    Anyway, just wanted to pass this on ... have a great day ... "   

No arguing is necessary .....   JMO.

[Financialgrl]

Haven't read all the other's responses but agree with what ppl are saying -  the time to correct someone is when it happens.  To come back after the comment has passed or even another day, is like your dog having an accident on the floor and you swatting him with a newspaper the next day - poor dog is like "huh what's that for" and  it's lost it's relevance at that point. 

[Tinkrbl44]

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@Deanie wrote:

Interesting subject this.  While the majority of the posters believe one should let the issue go, sometimes it is important to set the record straight.  Let the facts speak for themselves. I am not suggesting one enter into a row over something insignificant, however, in some circumstances it would be important. Different situation, different evaluations.

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@Deanie

Good point!

[dex]

My son who I take great inspiration from told me that when others are wrong and you are right sometimes it is best to keep it to yourself and declare it a personnel victory.

[cherry]

NO. I am not interested in hurting someone's feelings, nor do I feel the need to prove someone wrong.

I wil defend myself, but I don't go around looking to start a fight

[Catiele]

tinkrbl44     You are right. I didn't want to cause my husband's family any problems. I love them. It is my fault and I know it.

[TX-starlight]

@Posh Poodle

That's 1 thing that bothers me...how much other unreliable info has she passed on. However, I will let this go. It wasn't something that made a huge difference. A lot of my friends are getting forgetful & don't always have correct facts, but it drives me crazy for wrong info to go out. This particular friend does have a habit of passing facts she doesn't know for sure, & I DO watch what I tell her. (She is housebound & gets most of her info 2nd or 3rd hand). 

[CalminHeart]

Let.it.go.   Why start something?   And maybe it was just a mistake and she chose not to correct it at the time.   Why would someone think they have any right to "research" and correct others.  MYOB.

[reiki604]

You were gossiping about someone and want to make sure your version is the most one passed on? Talking about someone without them being present to verify what is being said is gossip. Gossip is a form of the game telephone. The original message has nothing to do with how the message turns out.