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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,565
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

@house_cat To answer your original question, I never dropped in on my son and his wife. I never liked people dropping in and I know my DIL didn't like it either, nor did my son.

 

However, anytime I or both DH and I wanted to come for a visit, they would say "sure" or sometimes "this isn't a good time" and that was just fine.

 

But anytime they wanted to drop by the answer was always a big YES! but we didn't have kids to get ready and bring along. Loved having them over and we all lived within about 15 minutes of each other.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,779
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

@house_cat  Never, their lives are too busy and they may or may not be home. Even when they invite me over, I always text them to say I'm on my way. 

 

Learned a good lesson early on in my married life when my Mom & Dad dropped by our house at a VERY inconvenient moment.  No one ever spoke of it.Smiley LOL

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,033
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

Times have really changed especially in the south.  Growing up and even with my first marriage drop ins were the normal.  My mother cooked a little extra so she would have extra if someone dropped in.  You always had a cake or cookies for guests that dropped in.  Of course some called and said they were coming but no one expected an invitation.  Unless they had small roudy kids I always enjoyed unexpected guests.  However now I would not do a drop in now.  I would at least text to make sure they were at home and available and wanted my company.  My house is always fairly clean and neat and I change into clothes after my morning shower so not worried about what they would see.  I will admit my first husband had a big family and they all had children that were not well trained so we did pretend not to be home a few times.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,232
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

Everyone has busy lives and off-time is just that. Whether my DS and family are running carpool or relaxing at home, they deserve their privacy from their friends and parents. 

 

We do see each other often for visits or family meals, but by invitation only. 

 

We always call/text before just showing up. They have the same respect for us.

 

It sounds like most of us have the same feeling about this. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,780
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

I would never drop in on anyone unannounced. I think it is disrespectful.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,446
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

We lived in VA before we retired and my DD lived about 20 minutes away, she would drop by but then she had my code to the garage and get in if she wanted to and needed something, I didn't mind, I was usually home.  I never went to her place since I wasn't driving 20 minutes for nothing.  My DS has never lived in the same state since he graduated college so if I want to visit him, I need to make plans since we're usually coming for a few days. 

 

I don't mind people dropping in, since all my friends live within the community but they rarely do and I would rarely drop in on them since we social regularly and see them often, we'll all retired, so dropping in isn't a thing.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 39,914
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?


@Trinity11 wrote:

No. 

I think it is about boundaries and it is poor etiquette to drop in on anyone without calling first. Even family...


 

@Trinity11 

 

ITA ... I would NEVER just drop in on anyone ... ever.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,613
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

I don't live near my kids so we can never just "drop" in. But if I did I would always at least call on the way over to tell them I'm coming.

"Pure Michigan"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,344
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

I don't like anyone dropping in on me without calling me first!  I have made this clear to everyone.  And I don't do it to anyone else either --- not family, not friends.  I know everybody is different, but I just think it is rude to just pop in unannounced.  I used to know a couple people who would do this to me and honestly, they just had the worst timing.  When I still lived at my mother's home, people were dropping in left and right and never calling ahead.  And so much of the time it would be around meal time.  My mother was very good natured about it and would say to me --- oh, it's o.k.  I'll just cook a little extra!  People were always taking advantage of her and it upset me.  Many times we would be getting ready to go out the door and they would show up and then we'd change our plans because Mom would say, well, we can't leave now!  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,159
Registered: ‎03-28-2010

Re: Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

My BIL lived 2 blocks from his in laws.  They would always drop by unannounced.  It got worse as years went by.  It bothered him.  He's separated now, 7 years.  It wasn't the reason for the separation, but he sure didn't like it.