Do you "drop in" on your grown children?

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

This is the first time that my children and I have lived nearby since they've been adults. My home is centrally located and they drop in on DH and me several times a week. There's no problem with that, we love to see them.

Recently my son commented that I never go to his home. Well, the truth is, I've gone every time I've been invited. They have a 10 month old baby and very busy lives. I can't imagine just dropping in unannounced. I told him that I will always be delighted to visit whenever they invite me. He seemed to be insulted by the suggestion.

I love my DIL dearly, she's everything I'd ever wished for him, but she's not my daughter. Perhaps if it were my own daughter I would feel more at ease just popping in and out whenever.

DH thinks I make no sense. He has no problem stopping by there whenever the mood hits him. It has me wondering if my thinking is unreasonable.

I'm wondering what my forum friends think.

~ house cat ~

viva923 · ‎03-12-2010

i use to visit when i could but when my daughters marriage took a turn for the worse, i just keep to myself, she only calls me if she needs something.she leads a very busy life with 3 kids (all in teen years) 3 kids have very active lives.just easier to stay away and let them do their thing,if daughter wants me to know something she calls to let me know otherwise,I do not ask her anything, rather keep my head attached to my shoulders.

my son I don't bother him either again very active life with 2 kids

if they want to talk with me they can contact me.

mac116 · ‎03-26-2010

I have two married sons in their 40s who live relatively close by. I have NEVER just dropped by their houses. I will text first, and say that I am out and about...and is it a good time to stop by? If my text is not answered, I assume that they are out or busy or not in the mood for a visit.

I have great DILs whom I love dearly, but I am not their mother. I had such a rotten relationship with my MIL who had no boundaries, that I try to be respectful of my sons and their wives.

deeva · ‎03-09-2010

I don't like drop in visitors. So I don't drop in on others including relatives.

My children live in other states, so it's not an issue.

Janey2 · ‎06-07-2010

Never "drop in" on anybody. I might call an hour before and ask if it is ok to come by. I do not like anyone just coming by my home either. Just give me a little advance notice...even just 1/2 hour.

OKPrincess · ‎03-10-2013

Texting or calling is so easy these days so there's no reason to drop in on anyone.

Just a simple heads up works for me.

lolakimono · ‎03-29-2012

@house_cat

Does your DIL drop in on you (without your son or GD)?

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

I think there is a difference between just "dropping in" on people unannounced and only visiting if they've invited me.

I never go to anyone's home without first calling or texting, including family. However, I also don't wait to be asked by them if I can come for a visit. But I try to consider what would be a good time for them before I ask.

Icegoddess · ‎03-19-2010

I never drop in on anybody, and my daughter never drops in on me. We'll communicate on Facebood IM or text before embarking mainly to make sure the other person will be there.

Seems like you could just text before dropping in to make sure someone will be there, or specifically your son if you don't feel comfortable dropping in on your DIL.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I had an aunt and uncle who would drop in but that was a zillion years ago and people you were really close with would just knock and walk in back then. It was all "family."

Today's world is different. But if someone close never contacted me and said "I'd like to see you (or bring something by) what would be a good time" I'd assume they didn't care about me. I would assume they didn't really care to come if I had to invite (beg) them.