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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,061
Registered: ‎07-21-2014

Do you know people like this?

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I am not sure how to deal with people and even friends like this- that it is all about them.

 

They can go on and on about themselves for hours.  They might ask how I am but they dont wait to hear the answer.

 

If I do get to answer the conversation gets turned back to them right away.  Hard to deal with this when it is your friends!

 

Sometimes you cannot even finish a sentence or get to talk at all.   I care about my friends but this something that is annoying to me and not fun. 

 

Thankfully I do have a couple friends that are not this way and we can actually have a two way conversation.

 

What do you do with friends that it is all about them and they dont really care if you say one word the whole time you are with them, as long as they have you to listen to them go on and on?!! 

I am thankful to have friends Smiley Happy but not sure how to deal. I am not a loud outspoken person at all Smiley Happy

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,757
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Do you know people like this?

@CherryHugs ...humm  You just described , exactly, a woman I know from church.  All about her, couldn't care less about what I  (anybody else) have to say.  It's like she's trying to talk enough about herself to impress me..(and others).  My unprofessional opinion is that she is mighty insecure and feels the need to focus all the attention on herself in hopes to say something to impress.  Might as well just let her talk, smile and bid her a good day...not going to change her.

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,271
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

Re: Do you know people like this?

I would have as little to do with them as possible.  Friendship is a two way street and people who are so self-centered as not worth my time.

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,452
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do you know people like this?

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Yes, they're "Narcissists ".  Keep away from them. I do.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,800
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do you know people like this?

My best friend for over 50 years is exactly like this. I talk to her on the phone every two or three days.  Plus we text and connect on FB.  She has become even worse since her grandson was born.  She has little interest in MY grandson or really anything I do or say.  It's definitely all about her.  She talks literally non-stop - it's hard to get a word in edgewise.  No point anyway.   My husband thinks I'm nuts to put up with her.  Maybe I am.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,754
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do you know people like this?

What do I do?  Listen.  I know I am way more boring that most people, so I just listen.

 

It's that or sit by myself. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,013
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Re: Do you know people like this?

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Simple.  People like this are not my friends.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 761
Registered: ‎06-01-2010

Re: Do you know people like this?

My SIL is like this. She never comes up for air. Luckily, I don't have to see her often or for long periods of time, and my DH is always with me when we do see her, so I let him deal with her.  It's his sister after all. I also have a friend who has become this way since her divorce. I just smiled and nodded at first, but she hasn't improved in two years, so I rarely see her. I always have an excuse as to why I can't meet her or have her over. People like this are exhausting! I refuse to make time for them in my life.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,225
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Do you know people like this?

Sure do.  It does get old.  I think I am like you -- I listen and listen and listen.  Sometimes, well, a lot really, I listen to the same stories over and over again.  We listen because we care about these people and we are interested in them and what they have to say.  Sorry to say that quite a few people are very self-involved and aren't that interested in what is happening with anyone besides themselves.  

 

There are times when I have things, issues, which I would like to discuss, or I feel that I would like to get their opinions on.  Or, maybe just plain talk about things in my every day life--- and generally speaking --- with these kind of people --- there is no chance to do that.

 

I have been spending less and less time with people who are this way.  I found I was getting frustrated and unhappy after being with them and this was definitely not the desired result.  

 

Friendship should be a 2 way street. Sharing good times and bad.  Being there for each other.  There are times when one of you needs more air time, so to speak.  But when one dominates the conversation and the time spent together all the time --- not a good friendship.  This is selfish and not a caring and giving relationship.  Friends are supposed to nurture each other. Not one person there for the other person's needs and sounding board.

 

 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,271
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

Re: Do you know people like this?

@FranandZoe  Your husband is right!!!  You've put up with her for 50 years???!!!  You are a good friend!