Do you keep score? - Page 3

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

I don't feel like I keep score, but maybe I do. I have a couple friends where I notice I am always the one to initiate everything. I've stopped initiating things. I don't want one sided relationships. I'm fine if it's not 50-50, but 100-0 doesn't work for me.

Scooby Doo · ‎03-14-2010

I had a sister who kept score. She had a folder in her file cabinet with everyone's name on it. Everyone she knew. She kept every letter or card that person sent to her in their file. If you didn't send her a card she didn't send one back. Receipts were kept. Remember the old tapes that were in the old phones for messages? Those were in the folders. When she got someone fired all the documentation was in that folder, even after 25 yrs. After she died I threw most of it in the garbage, except for pictures, and a folder she kept on my DD. Needless to say, my folder had very little in it. However thick your folder was, that's how much you got in her will.

Nightowlz · ‎03-11-2010

No I don't keep score.

My dad's step daughter does. She thought when my dad passed away all the gifts she gave him should go back to her??? Dad had already left some of those things to others.

Regal Bee · ‎07-20-2017

I didn't for most of my life and was often taken advantage of. I do, now.....as I just don't waste my time and energy on people that cannot be bothered to return any type of kindness.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Regal Bee wrote:
I didn't for most of my life and was often taken advantage of. I do, now.....as I just don't waste my time and energy on people that cannot be bothered to return any type of kindness.

Sometimes it's hard to see that when people are nice to you that they are taking you for a ride and it IS one of those 100-0 relationships. Sometimes if you are the kind of person who doesn't keep count or think that way, it is hard to see (sounds better than "we are just stupid" doesn't it?).

There is a saying: Don't make people a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs.

FuzzyFace · ‎03-15-2010

I hate to admit it, but I do. I wish I could be morally superior and above that kind of thing, but I'm not. I DO try not to let it get the best of me but it's a struggle sometimes.

agnesann · ‎01-01-2014

Agreeing with a couple here. I wouldn't write anyone off from card or gift lists without a very valid reason like total lack of appreciation. Or say true entitlement attitudes as we see with some wedding couples requesting large sums of money, or extravagent gifts - charging guests an arm and leg to attend their receptions.....then, they don't even bother to send a Thank You note.

I won't have my generosity used or abused, but I also refuse to allow others lack of social graces to change me. I send and give what I like, because I enjoy it - with no expectations for reciprocation other than honest appreciation expressed. It only takes a second to text, email or phone a quick thanks.

AnikaBrodie · ‎03-10-2010

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." That's my motto and, NO, I do not keep score. If I had to do that I would not gift the person in the first place. Gifts are far more than material items and should include the gifts of time and love which would make the world a much happier place in my opinion.

"Faith, Hope, Love; the greatest of these is Love." ~The Silver Fox~

sandy53 · ‎03-12-2010

I used to send cards to my DH's brothers, their wives and children. Then it dawned on me that I had never been remembered on my birthday by any of them, so I quit (the "chidren" were adults by then). DH sometimes remembers to send cards to his brothers, but not always. So, if that's keeping score, then yes in that instance.

viva923 · ‎03-12-2010

In a way yes.

When you get an invitation out of the blue from some family member about some event.

When you have not heard from this side of family for many years and all of a sudden an announcement arrives in the mail to me that is a hint for a gift.

this just happened to us this past month. an announcement arrived in mail telling us about this event coming up. we have not heard from this side of the family for many years . dh and i just sent a card, no money, no gift.

this is so dicey. you are not close to relative they don't even live close by (across the country from you). What should you do, I say send a card but a gift really isn't called for .