Do people actually keep score? - Page 10

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@Deb665 wrote:
I usually find myself in the position of the giver. Don’t mind doing favors for others until I reach the point that i’m being used. 10 years ago I lived on a street that had several younger families who traveled a lot. I was the one they all wanted to take care of their dogs when they traveled.

Family 1 had a large female lab that my two Westie’s loved. The family left for a week at Thanksgiving and 2 weeks at Christmas, their dog came to live with us. We took care of her as if she belonged to us. There were other trips and vacations, but the holidays became a tradition.

Family 2 was so comfortable with me taking care of their house and dog that they once called from out of state to tell me the dog was locked in the bathroom, the plants would need to be watered daily and they had scheduled a construction worker to come look at their chimney on a certain day and I would need to be there while he worked.

Family 3 went to an amusement park every weekend during the summer and wanted me to feed their dog and let him in and out.

All 3 families wanted their mail picked up and any packages brought in. This went on for several years, it was especially fun when families 2 & 3 would vacation together!

My sister and I decided we wanted to take an overnight trip. We first asked Family 1 if they would feed our dogs twice a day. We had a doggie door and all we needed was for someone to feed them and make sure they had water. The response to our request, “we MIGHT be able to do it if you csn’t Find someone else”

Family 2 weren’t going to be available anytime in October.

Family 3 didn’t want to commit because opportunities were always coming up for them to go places and if the were offered a chance to go somewhere they wouldn’t be able to see about our dogs.

None of the families could understand when it was no longer convenient for me to take care of their house, plants or animals. One family pushed wanting to know why until I finally said I don’t want to.

I felt I went beyond doing favors for these people and was being used. There is a difference.

@Deb665 I find this amazing!...and not in a good way! I hope they either paid you for your time or at leat brought you a nice gift or gift card!

I had my neighbor take care of our dog back in September when the whole family went on a trip to Ireland. kevin would occasionally send me photos of her sleeping or some activity and he took the dog for nice walks around the neighborhood 3xs a day. I paid him $50.00 a day and never expected him to do this for free!! Plus I also brought him a gift back of some Irish whisky.

BSurLife65 · ‎04-10-2011

@pegsue wrote:
Actually yes-My mother keeps score and always has. I remember as far back as when I was little-always heard her say things like "well it's her turn to...or it's my turn to...." Growing up I realized she kept track of who called who last, or who visited who last, or who came to a certain family function, etc. So frustrating.

Oh, you're not alone! Mine kept score of EVERYTHING (as adults she commented on every item of "new" (different) clothing I wore, as in "IS THAT A NEW ____???") and eventually she mixed people and events up -- to my eternal frustration. It was hard to feel affection for her, despite knowing her and her background so well. The massive scorekeeping occupied 90% of her existence (she kept track in her Calendars) -- I'm so thankful that my Father was the opposite; I emulated him because he didn't cause such emotional harm. She was unconscious of the cause and effects of her behavior; Still, No Excuse !!!

I wonder if women tend to have this particular Mindset more often than men??