Among Friends

[CrazyDaisy]

There are constant posts about neighbors or friends who may ask for help.  Or posters who may ask for help and then feel slighted when they don't get what they want.  Do people really keep score of who they help and then have an expectation that they are required to reciprocate? 

I help a friend or neighbor because they need help and I am able to do it.  There are no expectations, no need to pay it back.  Should I find myself in need of help, I would hope someone would help me, however it is not a requirement of my friends.

[QVCkitty1]

I think we are more likely to come to the aid of someone when we know they would be there for us. I believe what Maya Angelou said, “ Never make Someone a 

priority when all you are is an option.”  In an emergency though I will do what I can.

[CelticCrafter]

Actually I do know someone that does.  Writes it all down.

It may not all be about doing favors or good for someone and expecting it back it also includes gifts - who gave what so that when the times comes the same thing or amount can be given back.

[software]

Yes, absolutely

I do try to return a favor, it's nice when others do the same.

But it's not a requirement.

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

There are constant posts about neighbors or friends who may ask for help.  Or posters who may ask for help and then feel slighted when they don't get what they want.  Do people really keep score of who they help and then have an expectation that they are required to reciprocate? 

I help a friend or neighbor because they need help and I am able to do it.  There are no expectations, no need to pay it back.  Should I find myself in need of help, I would hope someone would help me, however it is not a requirement of my friends.

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[NicksmomESQ]

   I don’t think people necessarily keep track. But when you always help someone out & inconvenience yourself to do it you would hope that in the event that you need help that person would come through.

   I have a young neighbor who works & has a 6 year old whose been in school 2 years. She is always running late.As a result she is always asking me to either pick her daughter up at the bus stop , put her on the bus or sometimes pick her up from school if she gets sick.I take the child into my home.I feed her.Sometimes help her with homework & keep her entertained until one of her parents pick her up.Usually,in an hour or two.

  Most of the time I’m able to help her. I rearrange my schedule & make it work.In over 2 years I never asked her for a favor until 2 weeks ago. My car was in the shop for repair. DH was in NYC for meetings. I needed a quick ride to pick my car up. My mechanic is a 5 minute drive away.

   This happened during Spring break. She was home because her child was off from school.When I asked her she said she didn’t feel like leaving the house & that I should call an Uber.I did just that.

  My neighbor didn’t owe me a ride but it sure would have been nice.

[Peaches McPhee]

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

Actually I do know someone that does.  Writes it all down.

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This stuns me, in a bad way.  What a horrible way to live your life . . . 

[K9buddy]

Tell me all of you holier than thou posters wouldn’t be ticked off if you were Nicksmom and wouldn’t rush to the aid of that neighbor in the future. 

[software]

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@K9buddy wrote:

Tell me all of you holier than thou posters wouldn’t be ticked off if they were Nicksmom and wouldn’t rush to the aid of that neighbor in the future. 

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Some people are very kind and choose to live a life helping others.

Can you not accept that?

I'm glad they exist.

I'm just not one of them.

[Carmie]

I have never seen constant posts about people needing help, but I have seen a couple over the years.

In the posts I have seen there is no keeping score.  The complaints are because there is someone who feels they were taken advantage of.  There are  givers and takers in this world.

Good people do both. Unappreciative, entitled people are glad to take help over and over again, but won't lift a finger when someone else needs a favor.  

Having somone treat you you this way makes you feel bad and it hurts. I completely understand.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@K9buddy wrote:

Tell me all of you holier than thou posters wouldn’t be ticked off if they were Nicksmom and wouldn’t rush to the aid of that neighbor in the future. 

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While yes I may be annoyed, it is not a given the person will be able to accommodate you.   People always have the option of saying no.  To stop helping someone because you didn't get something you wanted out of it is not something I would do.