Divorce Advice - Page 3

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@lgfan wrote:
Is there a family member or friend that you can stay with if you were to leave your husband? Before you leave him make sure that you have a place to go or the funds to support yourself. Even though he is abusive it is more dangerous to be homeless or jumping from one place to the next without a secure place to live.

@lgfan @Allthingsgirly67 Be very careful doing this - she could be considered as having deserted him and the marriage overall. He could actually make out better even with community property.

Laws may differ in all states but he is the one who should be removed.

@Allthingsgirly67 Please please seek professional legal advice and also contact your local women's advocacy group: hopefully there's one near you.

Your safe is the priority. I am concerned for you.

If the physical abuse is recent there could be a medical issue developing with him. I'm not saying anything as an excuse so please do not think I am because you are the priority 1000%.

Nobody here has seen your situation so it's difficult to assess but you need outside help. I will strongly advise you keep it between you and your lawyer and again seek out a woman's rights/advocacy/shelter for abused women for counseling specific for your state.

Be safe and please stay in touch.🫂💐

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

@wagirl wrote:
I have read thru this and I have to say that until anyone actua;;y is facing what OP is going thru, they have NO idea, how traumatizing divorce is. So saying YOU wouldn't have waited so long or how could YOU stay so long, makes it sound like the OP is at fault---she is not !!!! I stayed in a crappy marriage for 47 years---there are MANY things that I had to consider before I got a divorce and I am offended by many of the very belittling comments here. You should know--all marriages and divorces are unique---so show some empathy instead of sounding so high and mighty!!!

I agree @wagirl . This is complicated. These kinds of relationships are complicated. She did not do anything wrong. Nobody deserves to be abused.

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

@Allthingsgirly67 : I cannot begin to understand what you are living through right now. My heart breaks for you. No one deserves the treatment you are receiving. I hope you can find help and healing in the days and months ahead. Be safe.

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

The only advice you should be listening to is that of a lawyer. Otherwise the advice is worth what you're paying for it, nothing.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

ALRATIBA · ‎07-15-2016

You have my sympathy .... this sounds like the plot of one of those true crime shows on the ID channel. And ... we all know how that turns out.

Dragonflyveb · ‎04-29-2015

I divorced a narcissistic, abusive man. The abuse will only escalate.

First, get legal advice ASAP.

Second, DO NOT let him know what you are thinking or doing. If he thinks you are escaping, he will try to suck you back in (hoovering). AND, he will escalate the emotional abuse, guaranteed.

Third, make copies of financial statements, tax papers, pensions, etc. Get a safety deposit box to store these documents.

Fourth, I highly recommend a therapist. You need someone to support you as you go through the process. Churches sometimes have programs that charge on a sliding scale.

Good luck, this type of man is awful.

dragonly

3blackdogs · ‎03-12-2010

Speak with a divorce lawyer

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

@Allthingsgirly67 the best idea would be a legal separation. all of the financials are laid out. you need to see a lawyer. with a legal separation at the very least you can make him move upstairs. it's tricky with the mil involved. is she a dependant? do not leave the home. sorry that he slipped through the legal system on the abuse. if he tries anything again, call 911 and this time kick him out!

lgfan · ‎10-19-2012

@Cakers3 wrote:
@lgfan wrote:
Is there a family member or friend that you can stay with if you were to leave your husband? Before you leave him make sure that you have a place to go or the funds to support yourself. Even though he is abusive it is more dangerous to be homeless or jumping from one place to the next without a secure place to live.
@lgfan @Allthingsgirly67 Be very careful doing this - she could be considered as having deserted him and the marriage overall. He could actually make out better even with community property.

Laws may differ in all states but he is the one who should be removed.

@Allthingsgirly67 Please please seek professional legal advice and also contact your local women's advocacy group: hopefully there's one near you.

Your safe is the priority. I am concerned for you.

If the physical abuse is recent there could be a medical issue developing with him. I'm not saying anything as an excuse so please do not think I am because you are the priority 1000%.

Nobody here has seen your situation so it's difficult to assess but you need outside help. I will strongly advise you keep it between you and your lawyer and again seek out a woman's rights/advocacy/shelter for abused women for counseling specific for your state.

Be safe and please stay in touch.🫂💐

I understand what you are saying Cakers3 but the OP did say that her mother-in-law lived with them. How is she going to have the husband and mother-in-law removed?

spumoni99 · ‎02-16-2019

I don't know what he best thing for you to do is but just wanted to tell you I am so sorry you are being treated this way and I hope you realize your worth before its too late.