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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,301
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

I'd probably not do as well with this sort of think as you.   I'd probably say something like 'whoa, too many questions'.   Maybe I'd add in that it makes me feel uncomfortable because I tend to be a fairly private person.

 

I tend to be pretty honest, though.  I don't usually go with the 'honesty above courtesy' thing but when somebody is offending my senses like that, I'm coming right out with it.  Smiley Happy

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,863
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

[ Edited ]

 

@calcgirl

 

I have only 1 way to reply to "nosy" prying questions to me from anyone I feel has crossed my line of "their need to know".

 

Just as I do with everything else in my life, I speak directly. I don't concern myself with "Roberts Rules/Propriety or Political Correctness". I use different words at different times, but they all are direct. Maybe "and why do you ask/and you care why again"?  Then this to some that come across as rude? That I say "it is none of your business".

 

Dancing around questions is not, nor has ever been, my style of dealing with those I consider nosy and/or rude. My way for many things is: "Speak up and tell it like I see it". Tact? Do you see "Tact" in someone you barely know asking personal questions? If you do, you and I are very different types of people.

 

 

 

hckynut(john)

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,783
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

"That's a rather personal question, especially since I don't really know you." Smile, bat eyelashes. If she persists: "And I'm not going to answer it." Smile, bat eyelashes again, and move away to speak to your BF or someone else there you've decided you like.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Regular Contributor
Posts: 154
Registered: ‎12-03-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

When subjects are brought up that I don't talk about I say: this is not something I discuss. Then I repeat as necessary.

 

I've given myself permission to stand up for myself, to not feel guilty about it, and to be as loyal to myself as I am to everyone else.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,190
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

I think people are missing the important fact that this is taking place in the SO's hometown, and that he seems to accommodate the busybody ("that is the way she is").  

 

If the OP engages in too much pushback or is outright rude, it could be spun in a very negative way since she's an outsider. Besides, there's no excuse for saying "none of your business" outright when it's possible to deflect questions with innocuous statements or, better yet, questions.

 

If asked about how  much she makes in retirement, "Whatever we make, doesn't it never enough? Prices just seen to go up every time you turn around, don't they?" should suffice. It puts the OP on the same footing as the woman, as if they're in the same boat. If the woman persists, the OP could lean in and say, "Well, how much do you make, and are you happy with that?" Busybodies tend to recoil when you counter with intrusive questions. I wouldn't go any further. Saying "Well, I don't have to take a job as a greeter at Walmart," for example, might make her sound like a snob and play very badly if the busybody's best friend has that job, or the busybody herself.

 

If asked about the long-term plans with the SO, the OP could mouth platitudes about it being in the hands of [insert deity here], or "Time will tell." She could also say that she wouldn't want to speak for the SO, so she just can't answer. She should just remember that chances are ANYTHING said to this woman will make the rounds, with embellishments. That's another reason it's best to be polite, vague, and innocuous.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,783
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person

Never in a million years would I answer in the snide way suggested by many posters.  This is a person you may never see again in your life so just put up with it.  Be polite, chat with others and answer with generic and vague answers. I trust your significant other knows this person much better than you do so I'd trust his instincts on how to behave around the busybody.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,457
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Dillemna About a Nosy Person

What dilemna?  If she asks a question that you think is too personal or a question that you just do not want to answer.....smile brightly and just say  "Oh, I think I'll take the fifth on that".  Do that every time she interrogates you and she'll get the message.  Make peace with the idea that doesn't like you and never will.  You can't do anything to change that.  It's not you....it's just the way she is.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,867
Registered: ‎05-12-2012

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person


Auntg wrote:

Never in a million years would I answer in the snide way suggested by many posters.  This is a person you may never see again in your life so just put up with it.  Be polite, chat with others and answer with generic and vague answers. I trust your significant other knows this person much better than you do so I'd trust his instincts on how to behave around the busybody.


Put up with it?!  Really?!  No way....

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,954
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person


Question, how do I tactfully tell her to mind her own business withouout saying that exactly?  I really dislike her busy body, rude in your face personality. 
You don't have to be tactful, only kind.  I would tell her that I'm uncomfortable answering her questions....  and then stop.... remember to smile at her when you tell her this....  Woman Happy
*It's not how fast you shop.... it's how well you shop fast....*~
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,876
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: Dillema About a Nosy Person


Reiki604 wrote:

You don't owe anybody an answer you don't want to give. Simply smile and change the topic and ignore the question. Don't even acknowledge what she asks with a response.


@Reiki604...a big thumbs up. ITA.

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