Dilemma with a Friend - Page 6

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

It's not the o/p's job to "enlighten" this person. My goodness, in this day and age, 2015, if someone is as backwards as this person is, that's their problem and there's nothing you can do about it.

Nothing you will ever do or say will change the situation. Some people have to have someone as a scapegoat, and for many, they use people they see as "different" from them for that.

If it makes the you uncomfortable, get away from it. That's my opinion.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Deb1010again wrote:
chickenbutt wrote:
Hi Deb! Oh, I love that. Your dad must be a really great guy to be so thoughtful and caring.
Hey Chicken!

He's actually none of those things. He's rather self-centered and mean, but I'm glad at least in some areas he brought me and my sisters up right.

Hey Deb! Sorry to hear it. My father, IMO, isn't all a bad guy. Yeah, he's your garden-variety bigot because he grew up with that. NOT that that is an excuse. It's just the truth. But, OTOH, he has some good qualities and I imagine that if he had been around he would have been not all bad. I don't blame him for one second for leaving that dreadful, horrible woman (my so-called mother), however. I wouldn't have stayed with somebody like her either if there was ANY way out!

He has actually told me, since I've been an adult that he wishes he did stay with her so that maybe I would not have had such a horrible childhood. I told him that it's not his fault and there would be no way I would think he should stay with her for ANY reason.

I guess everything comes with ups and downs, eh? I do care about my father because he's my father. But I don't respect him, because he's a bigot.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

@Marienkaefer2 wrote:
It's not the o/p's job to "enlighten" this person. My goodness, in this day and age, 2015, if someone is as backwards as this person is, that's their problem and there's nothing you can do about it.

Nothing you will ever do or say will change the situation. Some people have to have someone as a scapegoat, and for many, they use people they see as "different" from them for that.

If it makes the you uncomfortable, get away from it. That's my opinion.

I agree. I meet people all the time that are unpleasant to me in some way other than racist. And I just back off and don't pursue a friendship. If, in the limited time OP has spoken with this person she has actually made racist comments, I'd run, not walk, in the other direction.

Can you imagine if that if making racist comments is how she likes to make a first impression, what else she is holding back? She will embarrass you and make you uncomfortable if you spend time with her, period.

IHeartFashion · ‎07-28-2013

Did you voice your disagreement? I would probably politely say "Hmm, I'm not sure I agree with that at all" and change the subject, and if she doesn't get the hint, just sympathize with her loss but don't spend time socially with her?