Dilemma with a Friend - Page 3

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

@Apple Head wrote:
Thanks everyone for such good thoughts. I'm touched by your honesty and insights.

I think our world has become so much more racially insensitive. I think some of it comes from the social media and all the people hiding behind their identities and can spew hateful ideas without being known.

I appreciate all your experiences and how you've each handled them. None of you are wrong. I think it is all about our comfort level and life experiences.

We all come from different backgrounds and situations. I'm so blessed that my parents instilled in me tolerance and understanding.

What a world it would be if we all took each others differences and found inspiration in the knowledge that we learn from each other because of those differences. Being alike would be boring.

Really? So, you would welcome and be tolerant of a child predator just because he's "different" and comes from a differnt backgrould.....

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

If someone says something racist and no one says anything about it, that's tacit agreement and acceptance to that person. You mention being surprised that she's so outright about saying racist things, but you've given her no reason not to be, You've sent the message that it's acceptable to say those things around you. If you're not okay with it, you need to say something.

I don't let racist/sexist/ignorant statements go by without saying something. The person who said something has an opportunity to correct the behavior if he or she chooses. And if the person chooses not to, I choose not to spend time with that person. But it's my responsibility to let people know that racism is unacceptable around me. It shouldn't be acceptable anywhere, but that starts with me saying no, that's not okay.

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CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

Racism is something I would never put up with! So for me, it would be goodbye-see ya later with your ignorance and backward views!!!!!!

fourpaws56 · ‎03-04-2015

I am sure she has her reasons, but probably should not be outspoken about it...

CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

@fourpaws56 wrote:
I am sure she has her reasons, but probably should not be outspoken about it...

Let's see-what would be a good reason for Racism,ignorance and bigotry?

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

If there are aspects to her personality that you enjoy (sans the racism and perhaps other things).... and you don't mind continuing the relationship then I would have a non-judgmental discussion about it. That you two obviously have differing opinions regarding other races and perhaps even political differences and that you like her and would love to continue the friendship if the two of you could just avoid speaking about your differences. That you will avoid talking about them as well.

I firmly believe that if someone is bold enough to wear their (often extreme) opinions on their sleeve for everyone to hear, then they should also be open enough to hear that some people would rather not hear it.... and to be sensitive to it. If that's not possible.... then IMHO the friendship is over.

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

Racism would be a deal-breaker for me. Since this woman is not a close friend at this point, you can cool the burgeoning friendship by making excuses here and there until she gets the hint that you don't want to get together with her. If he doesn't take the hint you might decide to tell her that you do not share her opinions. My guess is that you're never going to get this woman to see how offensive her opinions are. It sounds like the loss of her son has made her into an angry, bitter person.

fourpaws56 · ‎03-04-2015

@CANDLEQUEEN wrote:
@fourpaws56 wrote:
I am sure she has her reasons, but probably should not be outspoken about it...
Let's see-what would be a good reason for Racism,ignorance and bigotry?

Uh, no, perhaps a violent crime committed against you by a person of a certain race....

Black Cat Back · ‎03-21-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
@Apple Head wrote:
Thanks everyone for such good thoughts. I'm touched by your honesty and insights.

I think our world has become so much more racially insensitive. I think some of it comes from the social media and all the people hiding behind their identities and can spew hateful ideas without being known.

I appreciate all your experiences and how you've each handled them. None of you are wrong. I think it is all about our comfort level and life experiences.

We all come from different backgrounds and situations. I'm so blessed that my parents instilled in me tolerance and understanding.

What a world it would be if we all took each others differences and found inspiration in the knowledge that we learn from each other because of those differences. Being alike would be boring.

        Really? So, you would welcome and be tolerant of a child predator just because he's "different" and comes from a differnt backgrould.....

What??? The OP was referring to different points of views. Intolerate people don't want to accept anyone's opinion unless it's their own.

A racist... a child preditor, what's the difference? Bad people are bad people.

Apple Head · ‎01-31-2015

@Deb1010again wrote:
@Desertdi wrote:
People have made some AWFUL comments to me........not knowing I'm one of "them"................................
I'm so sorry. Some people are so ignorant and intolerant. I guess in a way I'm being intolerant too.

I'm Jewish and I've had people say various offensive things in my virtual and real life presence.

I am Jewish also. People make comments all the time in my presence with full knowledge of my heritage. I've called them out, and they stop talking to me. It just shows their ignorance and hypocrisy.