Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 35,830
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

I have a close friend that moved FIVE states away!  Often when we text, we're in a short discussion and she just disappears, no "good by, have to run or catch ya later".  Just Gone.

 

She's with her BF, good relationship; It happens most conversations.

 

I'm going to start asking what happened to our connection.  

 

Do you have this?  How do you turn it around?

 

Many thanks.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,631
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

I have one friend with this same infuriating habit, and it drives me nuts!   She will text first with something like 3 lengthy successive texts.   I reply with a lengthy text and then she disappears for an extended period.

 

I have not been able to turn it around, yet, but am working at it.   So far I haven’t answered her text from yesterday.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,677
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

It is the way texting works.  People can't or don't always answer right back.  If it upsets you, texting probably isn't a good medium for you.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,892
Registered: ‎07-03-2013

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

I think if you are looking for a back and forth exchange, texting isn't the right medium.  I have a handful of friends that are far, we talk monthly.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,631
Registered: ‎05-09-2014

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

Me, I assume the person I’m texting with got a phone call or their doorbell rang, or the baby’s crying, or a pot overflowed on the stove and they were unable to continue texting or tap out an explanation just then. If they come back to it later or the next day, maybe I’m busy and then I can’t answer. Eventually, communication resumes. 

 

I consider texting very casual, since every single thing gets typed and sent and waited for reply. It’s not like a phone conversation, because all that typing and tapping is not particularly efficient and just more time consuming,  and texting carries almost no tone or inflection (which is why people add emojis!). It’s pretty impersonal, so why take an abrupt end personally? 

 

i don’t expect explanations if replies are slow or just suddenly cease.  When I have to take a phone call, I don’t want to click away on a keyboard to yield a satisfactory explanation for departure while the phone rings and rings,etc.

 

I’m not sure if most people are as indifferent to an abandoned texting exchange as I am, but it might be better to develop thicker skin about it and assume a distraction occurred rather than induce hurt feelings or concern. Just giving perspective.  Releasing hurt is a way of feeling ok about unintended slights. If you keep score less, there is less of winning and losing. Pick a plausible explanation for a cut off texting session rather than annoyance for lack of explanation. 

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,174
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

That's incredibly rude.  It's the same as speaking with someone on the phone and just hanging up, no good bye.  Just a hang up.  You say she's your friend, I know I can actually talk to my friends.  Why don't you just call her and talk about this weird habit.  Be nice, tell her that when she just ends a text, it worries you.  You wonder if a house fell on her or something....LOL

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,677
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

I don't think you can possibly expect people to always explain when they end a text conversation.  I think that's just impossible. 

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,631
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

What we / I’m referring to is when there’s a very active conversation going on and the other person just does a “peace out”, and leaves me dangling.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,469
Registered: ‎03-19-2016

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

   I’m hearing disabled and can’t hear well on phones.  My Landline types the conversation out ).

   My son got tired of calling before I got the better landline and me not hearing. He got me an i-phone with texting and e- mail. Fantastic I can communicate!

   I text all the time with him and my cousin and grandson. When we are in conversations we finish them. If it’s just a comment sent the person may be busy or in my case not hear the chime.

   When people are getting texts it is good to check them often and reply when possible.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: Delimma: Texting, WHERE Did Ya Go???

That's exactly how texting is supposed to work.

 

 

It's not supposed to be like a regular conversation on the telephone. where it rings, someone says "Hello?", then the conversation, then, "Well, I'll let cha go. TAlk to ya later. Bye!".

 

 

That's NOT how texting works. 

 

 

If anything, it's kind of like when we used to write letters to each other, and drop them in the mail. A "conversation" about the kids in Little League could go one for the whole season.

 

It is totally and compleatly normal for a texting conversation to be a few lines here, a few lines there.

 

 

If you want a long drawn out conversation with her, then call her.

 

Because that's not what texting is for.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.