Dealing with Anxiety - Page 2

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@ms traditional wrote:
my approach would be different. i use this in my job where i have to prepare for many different unpredictable outcomes all the time. i take each possible scenario and i figure out what my response will be. i decide on several plans - for the worst possible case, what will i do? for the best possible case; for that something in the middle, etc. that way i have plans - and i stop feeling powerless. when i start worrying again, i remind myself that i have plans in place. i write down my plans, so i can pull them out and re-read them. it doesn't make anxiety go away, but it does help control it. anyway, i hope it all works out for you.

@ms traditional, excellent advice and I've done that before too, and you're absolutely right. I agree.

dooBdoo · ‎06-27-2010

mominohio wrote:
ms traditional wrote:
my approach would be different. i use this in my job where i have to prepare for many different unpredictable outcomes all the time. i take each possible scenario and i figure out what my response will be. i decide on several plans - for the worst possible case, what will i do? for the best possible case; for that something in the middle, etc. that way i have plans - and i stop feeling powerless. when i start worrying again, i remind myself that i have plans in place. i write down my plans, so i can pull them out and re-read them. it doesn't make anxiety go away, but it does help control it. anyway, i hope it all works out for you.

This is exactly how I approach the unknown. Once all those scenarios are addressed and responses/actions for each thought through, I feel better.

I also have a practice of telling myself that 'it is what it is'.

If this is something that is already a done deal, you just don't have the final information/notification (like the results of a medical test, although I know you said it was not that), it is what it is, and can't be changed. Just embracing that helps me settle down. I tell myself that I can't change the news that is coming, but I can, once I have that news, move on with one of my pre decided plans of action.

In the meantime, I spend a lot of time doing routine things and getting a lot of needed things done, so I don't have to deal with them if the news I'm awaiting takes me away from my ability (or time or place) to do those things.

This is such good, practical advice, @ms traditional and @Mominohio. In therapy, having these thoughts and worries about what might happen is sometimes called "catastrophizing" -- and we can really do a number on ourselves if we let it spiral out of control.

I learned to do what you both suggested when I took the Dale Carnegie course... reading his book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" was a life-changer for me. (Here's a nice synopsis: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/stop-worry.html)

I learned to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen," write down all the possibilities, and then determine what I'd do if each one did happen. In most cases, I find the "worst things" never do happen (statistics show most of the things we worry about never come to pass) but feeling prepared for them is a powerfully effective dose of peace for the mind and soul.

@gellen, I hope everything turns out well for you.

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

I come from a family of worriers. When my grandmother was worried, she cried, walked the floor and wrung her hands. Drove me nuts. When my aunt was worried, she shut herself in her bedroom, to read and sleep. My mom walks the floor and smokes cigarettes nonstop when she's worried. I have told my mom many times, that she worries when she doesn't have something to worry about! As a teenager, I saw my Mom make herself physically ill for 8 weeks because of being worried.

I personally don't overthink things and stress myself to worry; I do however have concerns I pray about. When I pray, I visualize that I am placing my concerns directly in God's hands, and believe it is all up to him from that point. I know I am strong; mentally and physically, and I have faith that I can cope with whatever I cannot change.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

My mom is a worrier, what if this happens,or that, i have some of that,mostly mine is depression, i pray,read the bible.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

dooBdoo · ‎06-27-2010

"Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength -- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie ten Boom

I think this article is helpful to put things into perspective:

"The Fog of Worry (Only 8% of Worries are Worth It) Article by: Earl Nightingale

According to the Bureau of Standards, “A dense fog covering seven city blocks, to a depth of 100 feet, is composed of something less than one glass of water.” So, if all the fog covering seven city blocks, 100 feet deep, were collected and held in a single drinking glass, it would not even fill it.

And this could be compared to our worries. If we can see into the future and if we could see our problems in their true light, they wouldn’t tend to blind us to the world, to living itself, but instead could be relegated to their true size and place.

And if all the things most people worry about were reduced to their true size, you could probably put them all into a drinking glass, too...

...here’s an authoritative estimate of what most people worry about.

Things that never happen: 40 percent. That is, 40 percent of the things you worry about will never occur anyway.
Things over and past that can’t be changed by all the worry in the world: 30 percent.
Needless worries about our health: 12 percent.
Petty, miscellaneous worries: 10 percent.
Real, legitimate worries: 8 percent. Only 8 percent of your worries are worth concerning yourself about.

Ninety-two percent are pure fog with no substance at all."

source: http://www.nightingale.com/articles/the-fog-of-worry-only-8-of-worries-are-worth-it/

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

@Frosted Cake wrote:
I'm a walking anxiety ridden gal. I worry all the time. I have had some issues in life and I seem to look for the bad in things. I have fears I never had before.

I've tried the deep breathing, but it doesn't remove the anxiety for me, just calms me at the moment.

Sometimes my fears keep me in my house. I go out, but not at night anymore. I'm afraid to drive at night. I am suddenly alone after many years, and it's been hard.

I read a lot of books on anxiety that help, I watch programs where they offer advice. I try to watch funny shows or movies to help me laugh and relax a bit.

I know what you mean about anxiety. I think I'm wired to be worried. I wish I could find peace and harmony again.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make you anxiety free! The fact is, you may be wired to be anxious. Meet with your primary physician and ask to be put on a medication, such as Xanax, for your anxiety. Does anxiety run in your family? Best wishes to you!!!

meem120 · ‎03-09-2010

You might want to watch Lester Holt's Nightly news program this week. They will be discussing new ways to help people deal with anxiety. I think theyre talking about it all week.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

I agree about keeping busy/distracted, exercise, and most of all for me what helps is making a HUGE effort to be calm as much as possible.

Just fairly recently I've been having some issues with anxiety and the best thing I seem to be able to do for myself is make a super conscious effort to calm myself. Whatever helps for calming - slow, deep breathing, etc.

I've gotten panic attacks a few times in the past and I'll tell ya what - it took only a couple of times for me to tell myself that I did NOT want to have to deal with that again. So I recognized when it was sneaking up on me and learned to just stop everything NOW and get myself into a calm place. Once you figure out how to put the brakes on it, you CAN stop it and then it becomes more automatic.

tedEbear · ‎03-22-2015

@dooBdoo------That 8 percent is what I worry about 92 percent of the time.------tedEbear

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@ms traditional wrote:
my approach would be different. i use this in my job where i have to prepare for many different unpredictable outcomes all the time. i take each possible scenario and i figure out what my response will be. i decide on several plans - for the worst possible case, what will i do? for the best possible case; for that something in the middle, etc. that way i have plans - and i stop feeling powerless. when i start worrying again, i remind myself that i have plans in place. i write down my plans, so i can pull them out and re-read them. it doesn't make anxiety go away, but it does help control it. anyway, i hope it all works out for you.

@ms traditional

Excellent approach ..... asking "what's the worst that can happen?" and having a game plan dissipates the whole worry cycle.

I think worrying is just negative self-indulgence and such a waste of time and energy. Life is too short to drown in a mental sea of "what ifs".