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Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,240
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@Travone wrote:

If he is right across the street from the college why isn't he attending classes live instead of online?

 

What?????   Because that's how colleges do it now.  For some classes, students have the option of taking the course online.  Some high schools offer that for some classes.  And some classes are only online.  

 


 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,507
Registered: ‎05-09-2023

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@Commoner Exec Mr Wilkes wrote:

From a number of posts, the OP seems afraid of and almost fearful of the daughter. 

 

That is rather disturbing. 


Or maybe she is weary of the battle and doesn't want to deal with the tantrums and arguing. I've gone there with one of my kids years ago. I had to pick my battles or everything would be a battle. 

$10 a month for internet data so a kid can study is not a battle I'd choose.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,227
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@Lakelife62 wrote:

@RetRN wrote:

The kid won't work, he won't get a drivers license, he doesn't walk across the street to go to classes. Where is his dad? You are being manipulated and used by your daughter. Give him a month to get a job and if he doesn't give him the boot. You've done more than enough. The enabling needs to stop! He is not entitled to anything. I would be interested in knowing what his major is as well as his GPA.


Is this how you raised your children? They were not entitled to anything?


@Lakelife62 I was an entitled child. I was entitled to be part of the family I grew up in, our business (farming), and taking care of what we owned.  I worked.  I worked because my family worked and that's what we did to live.

 

It is not an odious thing to help out your family and the people you love--who all WORK together doing what they can to make a better living for all of the family.  I was entitled to learn what it takes to make one successful with a good life.

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Registered: ‎02-07-2011

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@Lakelife62 wrote:

@RetRN wrote:

And how exactly is she setting the stage for him to be independent?


She is helping him to get an education. Educated people get better jobs. Better jobs mean more money and more opportunity for advancement, plus health care and retirement contributions.

More money, better opportunity for advancement, good health and good savings= independence.


Not necessarily.  Depends what he's majoring in.  Many college graduates unemployed or in low level jobs.  He is an adult.  He should be contributing to the household.  College classes do not take up the entire week.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,507
Registered: ‎05-09-2023

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@Sooner wrote:

@Lakelife62 wrote:

@RetRN wrote:

The kid won't work, he won't get a drivers license, he doesn't walk across the street to go to classes. Where is his dad? You are being manipulated and used by your daughter. Give him a month to get a job and if he doesn't give him the boot. You've done more than enough. The enabling needs to stop! He is not entitled to anything. I would be interested in knowing what his major is as well as his GPA.


Is this how you raised your children? They were not entitled to anything?


@Lakelife62 I was an entitled child. I was entitled to be part of the family I grew up in, our business (farming), and taking care of what we owned.  I worked.  I worked because my family worked and that's what we did to live.

 

It is not an odious thing to help out your family and the people you love--who all WORK together doing what they can to make a better living for all of the family.  I was entitled to learn what it takes to make one successful with a good life.


I was asking @RetRN if she raised her children with that ideology. That they were entitled to nothing.

I asked you if you ever helped out your kids or grandkids. The fact you grew up on a farm is irrelevent. Many people grow up in rural farming areas, yet still extend help and comfort to their kids and grandkids. Did you?

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,507
Registered: ‎05-09-2023

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@kaydee50 wrote:

@Lakelife62 wrote:

@RetRN wrote:

And how exactly is she setting the stage for him to be independent?


She is helping him to get an education. Educated people get better jobs. Better jobs mean more money and more opportunity for advancement, plus health care and retirement contributions.

More money, better opportunity for advancement, good health and good savings= independence.


Not necessarily.  Depends what he's majoring in.  Many college graduates unemployed or in low level jobs.  He is an adult.  He should be contributing to the household.  College classes do not take up the entire week.


Please read the studies of college grads and income vs non-college grads and income. It is a fact that college grads earn much more. He is a kid, not an adult. He is contributing. He's going to school. That's his job.

Were your kids on their own while trying to go to school? Or did you do what you could to support their studies?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,240
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@Commoner Exec Mr Wilkes wrote:

From a number of posts, the OP seems afraid of and almost fearful of the daughter. 

 

That is rather disturbing. 

 

In scrolling through the posts I think you are right.  I also think when the mother and grandmother came with the arrangement, the mother assumed the grandmother was doing this out of love.  To help the kid get through college.  Family's helping family.  The mother didn't think she'd be asked for money when it seems she's struggling herself.  

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Posts: 5,326
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@Lakelife62 wrote:

@RetRN wrote:

And how exactly is she setting the stage for him to be independent?


She is helping him to get an education. Educated people get better jobs. Better jobs mean more money and more opportunity for advancement, plus health care and retirement contributions.

More money, better opportunity for advancement, good health and good savings= independence.


Yes, @Lakelife62  she is helping him build a better future. He will be independent and hopefully he will break the cycle we see here.

 

Education is key.  It will open doors for him. Doors that his grandmother may not have had access to.

 

We always want better for our children, and in this case grandchildren. Her sacrifice will pay off.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,507
Registered: ‎05-09-2023

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@chrystaltree wrote:

@Commoner Exec Mr Wilkes wrote:

From a number of posts, the OP seems afraid of and almost fearful of the daughter. 

 

That is rather disturbing. 

 

In scrolling through the posts I think you are right.  I also think when the mother and grandmother came with the arrangement, the mother assumed the grandmother was doing this out of love.  To help the kid get through college.  Family's helping family.  The mother didn't think she'd be asked for money when it seems she's struggling herself.  

.

 

 

 

.


 


It seems money is tight and frustration is high for the enitre family. I am not walking in the mother's shoes, but somewhere she must have some gratefulness for the help her mother is giving her son. Maybe she just can't express herself right now without it being a blow out. I feel for this family and especially for the kids caught in the middle. The fact this boy is going to college is a wonderful bright spot.

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Registered: ‎05-09-2023

Re: DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS


@manny2 wrote:

@Lakelife62 wrote:

@RetRN wrote:

And how exactly is she setting the stage for him to be independent?


She is helping him to get an education. Educated people get better jobs. Better jobs mean more money and more opportunity for advancement, plus health care and retirement contributions.

More money, better opportunity for advancement, good health and good savings= independence.


Yes, @Lakelife62  she is helping him build a better future. He will be independent and hopefully he will break the cycle we see here.

 

Education is key.  It will open doors for him. Doors that his grandmother may not have had access to.

 

We always want better for our children, and in this case grandchildren. Her sacrifice will pay off.


YESSSSSSSSS!