DH's retirement - Page 3

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

My husband went to work one Monday morning to find a note on the door that the business was closed for good. As the months passed, he not only had to accept being unemployed, but also had to face worsening health situations that pushed him towards permanent disability. Five years later, my husband still misses that job terribly, but he is coping much better. I opted for early retirement due to his worsening health, as I wanted to make sure we had time together to enjoy what we worked for before something happened to him. As I have said many times, we are truly polar opposites, but we get along well and enjoy life together. He is social, I am not. He enjoys eating out, I do not. He likes movies, I do not. I enjoy being alone, he does not, although he is fine when we are here in the house together. I was more than ready to retire, and have never looked back. I could not be more content with my life as it is right this minute. What works for us is that twice a week he meets a group of friends for coffee. He and his work partner meet in town for breakfast twice a month. He goes to visit his aunt once a week, and he plays cards with her and other family twice a month. I maintain contact with work friends, but also push myself to go out more to do things with him, and enjoy breakfast or lunch together. He goes with me when I donate blood and platelets, and we make a point to do something special while we are out. We work together to get things done on the house; I clean bathrooms daily, but dust and mop on the two mornings he is out. I cook every day, and he washes dishes. This house does not have to be spotless; I do not sweat the small stuff. I absolutely will not waste minutes of my life arguing with him about anything; I bite my tongue a lot, but no arguing. Outside of morning game shows and the local news, we do not like the same shows. Therefore he watches his TV, and I watch my TV in the den. This is what works for us, and we are happy.

LoriMI · ‎05-02-2011

Then it is time to reinvent yourselves. CHANGE. Stay as you are and hate life, or change and become someone new.

AnikaBrodie · ‎03-10-2010

When DH retired he joined a coffee group (men only) at a local restaurant. He's an early riser so this works great for him. He goes there every morning except Sunday at 7:00 with a group of several other retired men and enjoys all the "men talk" and helping each other with certain jobs/tasks as needed. Your DH might enjoy something like this too.

He needs his space. You need your space. Do some things together and some things apart from each other. Since he's been retired only four weeks give him time to figure it out and you do the same.

Happy retirement.

"Faith, Hope, Love; the greatest of these is Love." ~The Silver Fox~

Lovethesea · ‎03-15-2010

Sooner, I totally agree with you that the O/P needs a room of her own... and so does her husband...
... in fact, I believe that each of us needs a room of our own. The first time I read this was when I was in my mid-30s and came across Virginia Woolf's book, A Room of One's Own. I looked at my immediate family and noted all but two of us had a room of our own (art studio/office/sewing room/recording studio).

Evidently, some of us believed that it was normal and necessary that we have our own room with a door that we could close and where we could work on whatever was important to us. Since then, I have been an advocate of having a room of one's own.

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

My dh just retire 2 months ago. We decided to sell our home in the city and moved full time to our lake house in upper Michigan. So far I LOVE it. But all the locals keep warning us about the L O N G and very hard winters! But I've lived in MI my entire life, I certainly know about the snow and cold! My dh has been like a kid in a candy store so far with his retirement! I don't see him all day, he's out doing all the things he never had time to do before. Our life so far is like a normal summer up here. But I do wonder about how different things will feel when Labor Day is over and we are still here. TIme will tell I guess.

"Pure Michigan"

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

Do your own thing. Don't wait for him.

debic · ‎09-02-2010

We had a neighbor that retired 5 years before her husband, 6 months into it she went back to work.

I think I'll make a mile long honey do list.

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@RedTop wrote:
My husband went to work one Monday morning to find a note on the door that the business was closed for good. As the months passed, he not only had to accept being unemployed, but also had to face worsening health situations that pushed him towards permanent disability. Five years later, my husband still misses that job terribly, but he is coping much better. I opted for early retirement due to his worsening health, as I wanted to make sure we had time together to enjoy what we worked for before something happened to him. As I have said many times, we are truly polar opposites, but we get along well and enjoy life together. He is social, I am not. He enjoys eating out, I do not. He likes movies, I do not. I enjoy being alone, he does not, although he is fine when we are here in the house together. I was more than ready to retire, and have never looked back. I could not be more content with my life as it is right this minute. What works for us is that twice a week he meets a group of friends for coffee. He and his work partner meet in town for breakfast twice a month. He goes to visit his aunt once a week, and he plays cards with her and other family twice a month. I maintain contact with work friends, but also push myself to go out more to do things with him, and enjoy breakfast or lunch together. He goes with me when I donate blood and platelets, and we make a point to do something special while we are out. We work together to get things done on the house; I clean bathrooms daily, but dust and mop on the two mornings he is out. I cook every day, and he washes dishes. This house does not have to be spotless; I do not sweat the small stuff. I absolutely will not waste minutes of my life arguing with him about anything; I bite my tongue a lot, but no arguing. Outside of morning game shows and the local news, we do not like the same shows. Therefore he watches his TV, and I watch my TV in the den. This is what works for us, and we are happy.

Sounds perfect to me.

Kalli · ‎03-11-2010

I'm so looking forward to retirement. It will be next year. Can't wait!

DH is self-employed and has been semi-retired for over 10 years. He can do what he wants, when he wants. My job, though, has little to no flexibility during the work day. I love what I do but it sure will be nice to do what I want during the day and not have to adhere to a rigid schedule.

I like the house to be a certain way. I've gotten pickier over the years. So I'm sure we'll have an adjustment period.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

I agree with all the posters that say there is an adjustment period. Things seem to be rolling along and getting better.

We know many people that have made retirement decisions and then regretted them.

Friends of ours had a home custom built not a McMansion. Sold it and moved to Florida. Hated it so much moved back here and now live in a home they hate. They had never been in Florida in the summer and didn't realize how hot it is.