DH's retirement - Page 2

1jenniferjuniper · ‎03-09-2010

@ncascade wrote:
He has many hobbies. Some are weather dependent. He builds cars,etc. We have no desire to move. We live in the middle of the woods and love our privacy.
Let me be a little more positive. Things we like to do:
Read
Watch movies (at home)
Play w/our 7 pets
I like to go for wlks in our woods but I highly allergeic to bugs so we wait for fall to do that.
The kids live an hour away and we do see them in fact we are going to grandsons Eagle Scout thingie next week.
Both my parent are gone and my MIl lives in a nursing home and is ok but not super.
I am an only child and was not born here and most of the extended family is gone. My best friend lives 300 miles away and we do e-mail.
He has lots to do. I think the real problem is me. Thank you to all for your replies.

What did you do before he retired??

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

Four weeks isn't very long to adjust to such different circumstances. It took my husband and I almost a year to figure this new life out but we are in a less isolated place.

I'm not saying this about you and your husband personally, but many people only think about retirement in financial terms instead of what they will want to do with their time.

Suziepeach · ‎03-10-2010

My husband works from home 24/7 so when he retires I told him I was going back to work, LOL ... I've already given him fair warning to NOT ask why I do things the way I do, to NOT do things I've already done behind my back without asking first, do NOT think your way is the fastest/best way, do NOT sort through the mail, LOL .. Oh yeah do NOT touch my washer & dryer!!

Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee

riley1 · ‎03-10-2010

It's hard to adjust to the 24/7/365 "thing" - However, I did tell my DH I was not changing my schedule and I was not his keeper. If he wanted lunch at a certain time he knew where the kitchen was. How about wood-working? Does he have a camera? If he isn't willing to change somewhat, you will be in for some very long days. How about you finding outside activities - do you knit, sew, crochet? I belonged to a bowling league and joined a gym! Good Luck!!

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

I had worked for many years and then decided to stay home. I cleaned house and just enjoyed being a house wife. Also my Mother moved here and lived in a retirement community. That kept me pretty busy. She passed 5 years ago and has left a big hole in our lives. In fact I had two big totes of stuff that was hers and finally one day (week ago) DH and I went through one of them. It was difficult for me and decided the other tote can wait awhile. I am also a big reader and read 5 books a week. After reading these posts ( which have been wonderful) it got me thinking. I think it is an adjustment problem and we will be fine.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

It's going to take some time for both of you to adjust to a new normal.

I know whenever I had a life changing event, it always took a few weeks before I was able to get into a new routine and feel good about it.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

Oh boy....this won't be easy....dh and I are self employed and we both enjoy working...I am in the office 3-4 days a weeks he goes in every day, he is middle 70's, I am early 60's. If he was home all day, I would be pulling my hair out.....we are a bit like you and your husband...no hobbies, don't enjoy traveling and most of our friends are not couple friends. We do like to eat out, which we do often and like antiquing and going to flea markets but you can't do that every week!

We have no plans on retiring unless we have health issues or unless our business cannot sustain itself. My dad was a self starter and had a difficult life as a child, he loved to work and when he was forced out it nearly killed him, he was miserable and shortly after retirmement he was diagonsed with cancer, he died shortly after...he did not enjoy retirement at all....

Retirement is not for everyone, maybe your dh could look for a part time job. I can generally find 'something' to do inside or outside of the house to keep me busy, but sometimes I have to 'find' something for my husband to do...it makes me crazy if he just sits all day which does not happen very often, thank goodness!! I wish you luck......

cotton4me · ‎03-09-2010

Ncascade – My husband and I are both retired. It was an adjustment for both of us. I think it takes time to settle in, find the right niche. My husband and I each have our own interests which I think helps. For instance, my husband does a lot of volunteer work for his church so he spends several hours a day or more with that. I enjoy physical activities, like walking, which he can’t do because of his health. I spend several hours a day (or more) walking and doing nature photography. Some days we don’t see each other any more than we did when we were working fulltime.

I don’t know if where you live has any senior centers but they can be a good resource for classes and activities. If your husband is handy, perhaps he could get part time work at a hardware store or something like that.

I like Sooner’s idea of having your own space. My aunt did that when her youngest child left home. She made his room into her oasis, decorated it beautifully. She had all her crafting supplies and favorite things in there.

Bird mama · ‎03-12-2010

@Group 5 minus 1

My mom went through this when my Dad retired. In my Mom's case she was used to running the house her way and when Dad retired he was underfoot (lol). I tried to warn her about it.......

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

1. Have him create a shop in the basement or garage

2. Or: have a daily "honey-do" list

3. Entertain yourself, he's a big boy now and needs to figure it out for himself, and you create your own life. He'll learn what entertains him. Give him time to figure it out.