DH died...I'm lost. - Page 5

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

So very sorry for your loss. Cry all you need to.

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

I am so sorry for your loss @sarahpanda . I know that losing my husband was/is the most difficult thing I have ever been through. Grief- the gift that keeps on giving.

Be prepared for lots of ups and downs. Grief to me is like a jumbled plate of spaghetti. Lots of ups and downs and twists and turns and numbness and confusion and deep, deep sadness. And there is no easy way to get through it. You just have to claw your way through to get to the other side.

4 years for me and I still struggle. I still cry. I am resigned to the fact that I always will. The loss is that deep.

Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this. Know that in addition to your emotions, your body is in physical shock and will be for some time. Again, I am so sorry

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

luvzchiz · ‎03-09-2010

@sarahpanda So sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing.

“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.”- Jimmy Buffet

Wsmom · ‎03-09-2010

@sarahpanda , I am so sorry. My DH of 43 years passed at home last fall after a very long, difficult illness. Unfortunately I have a few friends who have also lost their husbands in the last few years and it seems we all have gone through and continue to go through the same emotional rollercoaster.

Remember to take care of yourself. Feel what you need to feel. Take a break when you are overwhelmed.

My heart breaks for you and I send a big virtual hug.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@sarahpanda. I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your dear husband. The death of a spouse is supposed to be one of life's most traumatic events, so what you're feeling is perfectly normal.

Why don't you seek a grief support group where you can meet and commiserate with others who are going through the same thing?

Know that as time goes on, your heart will begin to heal and the pain will subside even though the memory of someone you loved will forever be with you.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

We rescue cats · ‎01-25-2023

@sarahpanda I am so very sorry for your loss and pain, I pray that the memories you shared live on forever.

Lynn-Critter Lover!
(especially cats!)

Jersey Born · ‎03-10-2010

@sarahpanda - I am so sorry to hear that your husband has died, and that you are in such pain.

There will be some people you know who will say things that you will consider very insensitive in the days ahead. That's a given. Try not to let those comments hurt you-- let them roll right off of you. Grieve as deeply and as long as you need to. Every single person going through the loss of their beloved spouse has their own timeline, their own grief journey, to experience. You, and only you, are the captain of that ship.

I wish you all the support you need from family, friends, and any outside groups you decide to join. Reading about the experiences of others with circumstances that are similar to yours might help you. Writing about your love for your husband and your happy memories of him, and even your feelings of despair, in a journal might also help you feel reconnected to him. You do you. Take all the time you need to grieve, and do not feel guilty about doing this. You are entitled to your feelings at every single moment.

Wishing you the very best at this moment, and into the future.

Pecky · ‎03-10-2010

@sarahpanda wrote:
A couple of weeks ago, my DH died at home....in his bed, where he wanted to die. The last few days were a real struggle for him. He hadn't spoken for a day or so, I was laying beside him on the bed, with my hand under his hand and right before he passed, I felt him gently squeeze my hand, but very notable....then it released, he took his final breaths and was gone. I am a fish out of water now. I try to stay busy but get overwhelmed . I feel like I've got all this love to give him and its blocked and there is no where for it to go and it hurts like he*l. I'm posting this because some had asked me to keep them updated about DH...so this is the update friends....Sorry if I made you cry...it's my new norm.

@sarahpanda I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It will be 14 years on Christmas that I lost my DH. It is devasting and life changing, but I had a great support system that helped me through it. Three of them had already lost their husbands so they knew exactly what I was feeling. I was on an emotion roller coster. I had bad & ok days. The best advice they gave me was to be kind to myself. Don't let other people tell you what you should do, you have to do what is best for you. As time goes on, it does get easier and bearable. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, but it is not as painful as it was. I now smile and think of all the great time we had together. This forum here is also a great support system. We are here for you.