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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,963
Registered: ‎04-03-2016

Contacting Friends Upon Death

We have just received a Christmas card retuned by the post office as undeliverable. We are saddened and will pursue to see if this was an error or if our friend passed away. Got me to thinking about what happens when someone takes ill or passes away when out of town and not in routine contact.
I know this can be a mistake since lädt week had a letter come back as addressed unknown. I phoned and found out this was an error- relief - in this case it was a couple so I found this odd.
Any suggestions or hints on process to help keep friends in touch.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 67,333
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death

It's pretty easy to stay in touch nowdays since almost everyone is online exchanging jokes and news.  Of course, many elderly people never have made the jump to participation in the internet so they are a problem.  Unless you have friends in common, I guess the annual Christmas card serves as notice of their situations

 

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,325
Registered: ‎03-08-2014

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death

Since you know the area where they lived, it is likely if did  die they had an obituary published in their local newspaper (not required everywhere).  Most newspapers have a search are in the obits section.  You could try searching for their name both in that paper's obit section as well as searching on the Internet - such as John Doe, obituary.  You may come with the helpful info - either because found them, or...because there was no obit.  Just an idea.

Snarky responders need not reply. Move along and share your views elsewhere.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,255
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death


@Twins Mom wrote:
We have just received a Christmas card retuned by the post office as undeliverable. We are saddened and will pursue to see if this was an error or if our friend passed away. Got me to thinking about what happens when someone takes ill or passes away when out of town and not in routine contact.
I know this can be a mistake since lädt week had a letter come back as addressed unknown. I phoned and found out this was an error- relief - in this case it was a couple so I found this odd.
Any suggestions or hints on process to help keep friends in touch.

get peoples emails and texts info

 

much quicker

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,963
Registered: ‎04-03-2016

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death

@ Kachina624
You have made a valid point about today’s social media. However, steps there also can be neglected. For example, I had remained in email contact with a former colleague and we had been in touch about illness of another colleague. Two months later I happened to see her name in obituary. I was shocked. Had I not seen, I would not have known.
Her email was thru a school.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,963
Registered: ‎04-03-2016

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death

@ Havarti, good point about paper obituary- guess I was trying to be less negative.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,012
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death

The last Christmas of my Mom's life I wrote her cards and told people that she was ill. She passed the following spring.  The next Christmas I sent cards to those out of town that would not know.  A few continued to send me cards for years.  (this was before e-mail was available)

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,012
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death

On this subject, I haven't  done it yet but I plan to make a list of people I would want my kids to notify upon my passing.  (some by phone and some e-mail).  I have a book that I need the fill  out--gives family info on  type of services you would like, who to notify, where certain documents are, etc.  Bought it on Amazon but it's no good unless I fill  it out!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,074
Registered: ‎04-02-2015

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death


@Havarti wrote:

Since you know the area where they lived, it is likely if did  die they had an obituary published in their local newspaper (not required everywhere).  Most newspapers have a search are in the obits section.  You could try searching for their name both in that paper's obit section as well as searching on the Internet - such as John Doe, obituary.  You may come with the helpful info - either because found them, or...because there was no obit.  Just an idea.


This is how I found a cousin who had passed away, this is an excellent way to see if someone is no longer with us. When her phone was disconnected in the nursing home she was in, I went to obits in her town, and sure enough she was there.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,757
Registered: ‎09-06-2014

Re: Contacting Friends Upon Death

Several years ago a long-time close friend of mine passed away and I didn't know for some time.  I always thought I would be on the list of people for her son to contact but I guess not.  She was in temporary assisted living and I was having health issues so we kind of lost touch for a few months.  I wrote her a letter to her home address asking how/where she was and it eventually came back with deceased and the date she died written on it.  It really bothered me that we had lost touch after a 25 year friendship and that I missed her memorial service.