Super Contributor
Posts: 333
Registered: ‎10-09-2017

Hedge, no one, I'll speak for myself is "keeping score". As I mentioned, it just is a nice thing. Yes, one can see thru compliments that are manipulative. Most people respond to sincerity.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,527
Registered: ‎03-24-2018

Re: Complimenting

[ Edited ]

Its a good thing I dont get my self esteem from others complimenting and saying nice things about me lmboooo




I dont keep score at all.   It is just very noticable when others are saying nice things to others and you are not included.


I dont give out  fake compliments to others. I will when they look nice or have a pretty outfit or their hair looks nice etc!!


Thanks everyone!  Smiley Happy Smiley Happy Smiley Happy



Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,173
Registered: ‎08-18-2016

   My comments weren't directed to you, @roster .


OP's OP does indicate she keeps score, at least among certain people. And most unfortunately, she yearns for compliments that are based on her physical appearance.

This makes me very sad.


I deal with lowlifes whose sincere compliments are frequently used to camouflage lewd intentions, and test a trusting person's malleability for eventual exploitation.


Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,058
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Compliments are 'one and done.' Meaning, you give a compliment and it's over. Zero expectations that compliments will be returned. Either you're someone who compliments others or you're not. Has nothing to do with how others behave or respond. IMO- life's easier when we keep it simple and 'ease on down the road.' 

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,533
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Re: Complimenting

[ Edited ]

@FlowerBear wrote:


I dont keep score at all.   It is just very noticable when others are saying nice things to others and you are not included.



I agree. Sometimes you just can't help but notice when certain people don't ever compliment you.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,124
Registered: ‎09-14-2010

When people do not compliment me or anything mine, I pretty much stop complimenting

them on anything period. 


I know people that never compliment anyone or anything, I find that to be strange and pretty much just kind of rude, whether they really like it or not is not the point. I compliment on things to be friendly and polite. 


Some people can take a compliment with no problem,

but when it comes to giving one ...

I guess if it is not directed towards them, they could  

give a hoot about compliments period.


Perhaps some people were just born in a cave...

(Well no, cave men probably had their own form of a complimenting grunt! 😂)


-Texas Hill Country-
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,704
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

Our family is very supportive and loving, we compliment each other all the time. We had a family gathering today to welcome our newest baby and we told her parents how beautiful she is. My SIL showed us prom pictures of my very handsome nephew, this kid looks likes a movie star and I told her so. I'm old and my brother always tells me,"you look good Sis". I love to compliment people, I don't care if I am complimented or not, but I like compliments and have no problem accepting them.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,930
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Keep doing all the nice things you do. My guess is that you always look nice so they just expect that of you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,994
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

@FlowerBear  I did not come from a family where anyone gave compliments; in fact, quite the opposite.  I do give them depending on the circumstances.  Sometimes people need to hear something nice.  Sometimes they just look great.


It might be that you do it so often that it seems like you are asking to get a compliment.  My suggestion is to limit the compliments that you gvie and only do so when it is truly sincere.  

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,511
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Always!  Even if I don't know the person.  Today, at the deli counter was a nicely dressed older lady with a beautiful Coach tote bag.  I told her how much I liked herbag&how nicely she was dressed.  She seemed surprised!


Me on the other hand -- dressed like a bum painting furniture & gettinghouse back in order.   ran to pick-up lunch in basketball shorts, crappy t-shirt & flip flops.  My cc was tucked in mybra🙄 -- hmmmm didn't get any compliments but maybe some 😳 looks.