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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,702
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

Looks like the forum detectives are on the job. So what if she posted about this subject before, maybe she forgot or maybe this happens frequently to them. Evidently they really don't care what people say about their dancing or they would stop showing up. I would not go somewhere where I was not wanted for whatever reason, there has to be a dance club that is more welcoming.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,098
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

@LTT1 wrote:

@bonnielu 

 

So one couple spoiled your time there?

How dare they?

I wouldn't let them spoil my time anywhere, (because after all, who do they think they are?)

I probably would directly ask them to refrain from talking about you, and do it publicly.

Direct, honest ...go for that.

 

You could say: "Pardon me, we are here to have fun, just like everyone else here. You have spoiled our fun in the past by being cruel (or making cruel remarks) and you will not be allowed to do this again. Spoil our fun."

 

Put it out there in the open and I will bet the other members will openly support you.❤️


This is great advice. This is direct, and it will let them know to back off. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,044
Registered: ‎02-24-2016

Re: Comments that hurt

[ Edited ]

As a former Professial Dancer & now a sproradic Teacher this upset me. There is alot of jealousy in the dance world first of all. Your in a senior group of dancers & this should not be happening at all @bonnielu. A teacher sets a standard right from the beginning explaining that it a group effort & there should be no negative comments between the students. So sorry your weekend was ruined by such a rude couple. Is this the same instructor that teaches you on a weekly basis? People like that do not change, they harbor jealousy period. I would have a private talk with your teacher. What is the form of dance that you & your husband are learning? Dance can uplift the spirit like nothing else. Ignore, learn, practice & enjoy! 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,296
Registered: ‎09-18-2010

I'm sorry, these people sound like real jerks. I would try to ignore them or tell them you were going to keep at it and they can go find someone else to bully. Because thats what it sounds like it is.

Its dancing. Its not brain surgery. Is all dancing not a form of self expression anyhow?

If all of you danced exactly the same, I think that would get pretty boring.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

@Kabella wrote:

As a former Professial Dancer & now a sproradic Teacher this upset me. There is alot of jealousy in the dance world first of all. Your in a senior group of dancers & this should not be happening at all @bonnielu. A teacher sets a standard right from the beginning explaining that it a group effort & there should be no negative comments between the students. So sorry your weekend was ruined by such a rude couple. Is this the same instructor that teaches you on a weekly basis? People like that do not change, they harbor jealousy period. I would have a private talk with your teacher. What is the form of dance that you & your husband are learning? Dance can uplift the spirit like nothing else. Ignore, learn, practice & enjoy! 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's ballroom dancing that they are trying to learn.

 

 

 

 

 

Is it fair to all of the others who are progressing to be held back by the one couple who can't get it?

 

 

They paid for the class too.

 

 

Shouldn't the majority rule?

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,296
Registered: ‎08-22-2011

 

 

 

I just saw this post and am very sorry this happened. Pay no attention to their negative comments, it seems jealousy was their motive. This means to me that you threaten them in a good way by dancing very well and enjoying your time there. Hard to believe that there are "bullies" even in a senior dance group. I'd handle it the same way we tell children to handle "bullies." And I'd be really friendly with all of the other couples, smile while dancing, laugh and let them see you are having a wonderful time! Enjoy yourselves, life is short!

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,367
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Given that this has happened to you 3-4 times, perhaps it might be more enjoyable for both you and your husband to take private lessons until your skill level increases. Never give up what you love doing, just do it in a different venue.


'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

@reiki604 wrote:

Given that this has happened to you 3-4 times, perhaps it might be more enjoyable for both you and your husband to take private lessons until your skill level increases. Never give up what you love doing, just do it in a different venue.


 

 

 

 

 

Correct!

 

 

Not everybody is a great, or even a good dancer.

 

 

 

And the o/p has been told this many times over many years by many people.

 

 

They can't all be "jealous".

 

 

That's a cop-out.

 

 

They were probably telling her the TRUTH.

 

 

 

Just because the truth isn't wasn't what she wanted to hear, does not make it not true.

 

 

 

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,758
Registered: ‎01-18-2012

@LTT1 @bonnielu   I do so agree with your comment.  Gather your group together and nicely say you have heard from some members that you and your husband are spoiling their fun is this so?  Then wait to see the reaction.

 

People when confronted in a non aggressive manner about being nasty soon find out how wrong they can be.  Keep on having fun but definitely address this to the group.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 34,601
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@dulwich 

 

When I have REMEMBERED in the past to do this in this way, it has always been effective.

I had a family situation once a long time ago, and I knew I had to "mentally prepare."

It involved a parent confronting me about our church preferences. Ugh

Well, although the person was well-meaning, I felt put on the spot.

So, I was ready with my approach.

Sometimes, well, most times (like in the OP) one can be speechless at the audacity of being treated in such a way.

It is difficult for me to be prepared when overwhelmed.💗

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~