Among Friends

[bonnielu]

Hubby and I try very hard and do not give up.  We are involved in an activity that we frequent to learn more about.  It is a form of dance.  We simply don't know how to give up since we meet all kind of nice people while we are doing it.  About a month ago we traveled out of our area, paid for two nights at a hotel just to participate.  We took our lessons (paid big bucks for that too) and two of the participants were very rude to us. In no simple words told us we were not good enough to continue since we had failed in the past.  I kid you not.  I was speechless and since I am a retired school teacher who never gave up on anyone I was devastated.  Seems they continued to spred the word and made us uncomfortable for the weekend.  

I guess I am venting but hopefully someone might have advice for the next time around when we encounter the same fun couple.  

[LTT1]

@bonnielu 

So one couple spoiled your time there?

How dare they?

I wouldn't let them spoil my time anywhere, (because after all, who do they think they are?)

I probably would directly ask them to refrain from talking about you, and do it publicly.

Direct, honest ...go for that.

You could say: "Pardon me, we are here to have fun, just like everyone else here. You have spoiled our fun in the past by being cruel (or making cruel remarks) and you will not be allowed to do this again. Spoil our fun."

Put it out there in the open and I will bet the other members will openly support you.❤️

[Dusty1]

@bonnielu Isn't it awful how you said that you meet so many nice people & we let the comments of one couple haunt us?

No one can know why this couple felt the need to be mean.

Try to remember all of the nice people & let the nasty people fade from your memory.

Not easy, but just enjoy what you & your husband are doing & if you encounter that couple again smile & walk past them with your head high.

[millieshops]

@bonnieluHow very sad that you had to encounter such an ugly person.

When you return, know that you are better in all the ways that really count in this world of ours. 

[KingstonsMom]

@bonnielu 

People teach you who they are, believe them.

Do not give them a second thought nor let them spoil your fun with DH.

I would simply walk away any time they approach or at the very best, smile and walk away.

That way you let them know that you're not interested in their nasty opinion nor their need to be rude and mean.

Kudos to you and DH! It sounds like a blast! Just Keep Dancing!!

[Shanus]

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@bonnielu wrote:

Hubby and I try very hard and do not give up.  We are involved in an activity that we frequent to learn more about.  It is a form of dance.  We simply don't know how to give up since we meet all kind of nice people while we are doing it.  About a month ago we traveled out of our area, paid for two nights at a hotel just to participate.  We took our lessons (paid big bucks for that too) and two of the participants were very rude to us. In no simple words told us we were not good enough to continue since we had failed in the past.  I kid you not.  I was speechless and since I am a retired school teacher who never gave up on anyone I was devastated.  Seems they continued to spred the word and made us uncomfortable for the weekend.  

I guess I am venting but hopefully someone might have advice for the next time around when we encounter the same fun couple.  

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@bonnielu   So sorry that happened. I read a quote years ago that I still adhere to “You can’t change negative things  said to you, but you can change your reaction to them”. 

[cookinfreak]

I think I would have said something like "First I have to respect you in order to respect your opinion and since I don't respect  you, I could care less what you think."

I do hope you continue on and have fun. They may be jealous of you for some reason and feel the need to be nasty to you. I've heard that people have to point out what they think are your faults in order to deflect from themselves.

cookin

[CrazyDaisy]

I am active in an sport where I will travel to different clubs events to participate.  I have found that some clubs are more welcoming than others.  If I do not feel welcome, I just don't go back.  I have on occasion sent a note to the club telling them why.  If enough people refuse to return they know there is an issue to be addressed.

If this is the case, I would notify the club how you feel and you will not be returning.  You may very well encounter this couple, however a different venue may not be as tolerating of their behavior.

Above all just have fun.  It is not about being good it is having fun doing it.

[Zukie]

I do not understand why people think they have the right to be cruel and mean, seems like like they've never grown up.

Keep dancing, have fun and if you see them again and they make the same comments, say something like  " We are here to have fun and if you are here to be mean and cruel, then it looks like we are both getting our money's worth" , then walk away...and if there is an audience then all the better.

[Imaoldhippie]

How dare they judge anyone!  That couple is undoubtedly very nasty and ugly.

If and when you are in the same activity with them, just ignore them.  If they approach you, just tell them to back off you do not care to associate with negative rude people.

Try to brush it off and move on.  Good luck and I hope you and hubby have a dancing good time!