Among Friends

[all]

Can co-workers really ever be true friends? Should you be friends with your
Co-workers?

My teammate is not pulling her weight. Resentment is building even though
Courageous conversations have been had at work. For her, ours is a
Friendship of convenience so I know where I stand. Been at this place for only a year after a relocation.

I have a low tolerance for nonsense and was pondering whether a co-workers could ever
Really be a friend.

[Kachina624]

You choose your friends anywhere based on people who you genuinely like, have common interests and shared values.  It pays to be selective in choosing friends so hopefully they won't disappoint. 

Today I talked to a former co-worker in Houston, making sure she was okay.  I first met her at work in April 1966, and we've been friends ever since.  Same with a handful of other people who sadly are no longer with us.  We stayed in touch, although I moved away, some have visited me here, there have been changes in everyone's lives but we remained loyal to each other.  That's what friends do. 

[Just Bling]

It is your "opinion" that she is not pulling her weight.  You are not the boss and actually have no say so.  

Friendship is a loose word, friendship is earned and should not be thought of as "convenience".

I would look at yourself in the mirror and think what can I do better to "get along" or else unfortunately you'll be the one on the outside looking in.   Seriously, been there, done that.  It is not pretty, you will be blamed and become very disgruntled.

You can only control yourself, you will need to change.  I would be nice and do your work, they are not paying you to be friends nor is it expected.

[drizzellla]

---

@all wrote:
Can co-workers really ever be true friends? Should you be friends with your
Co-workers?

My teammate is not pulling her weight. Resentment is building even though
Courageous conversations have been had at work. For her, ours is a
Friendship of convenience so I know where I stand. Been at this place for only a year after a relocation.

I have a low tolerance for nonsense and was pondering whether a co-workers could ever
Really be a friend.

---

I have been where you are. I would not try or count on her being your friend. 

I put on my "work" face for 7 years. I was pleasant to my co-worker and watched her come in late every single day, drag out much of her work as long as possible so she didn't have to do work she didn't want to do, I did alot of her work because I got tired of listening to her complain because she would complain about everything - the list could go on and on.

I was pleasant to her .We were supposed to have "equal" jobs. And I let my Boss know how I felt, numerous times. My boss was intimidated by her. So I realized nothing would ever change, So I put on my work face and worked.

THEN I retired July 1, 2017. I have not talked to anyone from that company and hope I never see or talk to my co-worker or boss again.

I spend time now with my true friends. I worked with them at the Disney Store and we have been friends for about 25 years. We have been there for one another through some sad losses and some of the best times. We can count on each other. I feel truly blessed to have them as friends.

[qvcfreak]

One of my best friends I met at work. We worked together for 30 years, both retired  and we still talk, do lunch, take weekend trips. She is 10 yrs older than me but from day 1 we connected. 

[Snowpuppy]

While I have friendly conversations with co workers, none of them are friends.

The more you take on, the more management will expect you to do so they don't have to deal with her.

[Trix]

One of my closest friends and I have been friends for 40 years. We met on the job.  Our relationship grew there and continues to this day although we have not worked together or even lived in the same city for many years now. I have another close friend whom I met at work during the mid 1980s (so around 30 years) and we're both retired now, but are still friends.  I am praying for her as she and her new husband moved to an area near Houston, TX in the spring.  

[Moonchilde]

It's possible, but for me at least, rare. I have maintained a friendship with one former co-worker in 47 years of working life. Much of the time, it was as you say - difficult to maintain a friendship when you feel the person is slacking and not dependable and they cause you to continue to work harder because of their lack.

[AngelPuppy1]

Yes, co-workers can be true friends.  A couple of people that I worked with for years and years -- they no longer work with me --- but we are still very close friends.   However, some people mistake work relationships and casual friendships, such as at work, for real friendships.  This is where you get into trouble.  Many times the only real thing which you have in common is working at the same place.  I for many years worked with a woman who claimed I was her very best friend.  This was purely a relationship for her benefit.  This woman did not know the first thing about real friendship and to be quite honest, I don't think she knew the true meaning of friendship.  I was used in quite a lot of ways by her and it took a good while for me to realize she was no friend to me.  

So, yes, it is possible.  But more often than not, the people you work with end up just being casual acquaintances, just people you are thrown together with merely because you spend so much time together.  If you had met them outside of work, you probably would never had formed a relationship with them.

As for whether she is pulling her weight or not --- well, if this is affecting your work -- meaning, her lack of commitment is dramatically increasing your workload and detrimentally affecting your performance --- then, you should go to the person in charge.  If not, and you are just merely upset because she seems to be not working as hard as you think she should, then you should just concentrate on your own work issues and not worry about what she is doing.  

[happycat]

Yep, they can be great friends. My daughter has a full time job as a therapist. Most weekends the whole bunch of co workers do something together- go to breakfast, lunch, dinner or many other things.

Personally, I never had that many "good" friends at a job, but I am happy for her. I always felt I needd a break from mine on the weekends......