Re: Co-workers & Friendship

CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

One of my closest friends I met at work. We worked together for almost 20 years, and now she is retired and I still work, but we talk frequently, and get together often for lunch, window shopping,etc.....So I think you can be good friends with a co-worker........I remember one of my other close friends, we met while living next door to each other, both with small children at home, and our kids were close in age and started to play with one another, and she and I just clicked, had a lot in common, and we became good friends, after about 6 years, they moved, but we kept in touch, and would get together still, and people kept telling me, don't become too friendly with a neighbor in case it doesn't work out, then you still have to live next door to each other, but in this case it worked out just fine......

software · ‎06-08-2016

I try to be a team player but no, I don't want to make friends with people I work with.

When I leave work, I want no attachment to anyone or anything work related.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

I think you can be friendly at work, but not friends if you work directly with the person. Someone at some time will always get the short end and it won't be pretty.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@all,

I was and now 40 years later am still good friends with some of my co-workers(those that are still living and lost many that have died). Sure, when I worked the same job, with 20 men on each of the three 24 hour shifts, there were quite a few I did not particularly like or trust, and for many different reasons. I will include those that did not pull their weight.

In my factory job, the longest of several, those that thought I was going to pull it for them? That did not happen and would never happen. Each machine operator worked directly with another partner. When he went to lunch and break I watched and ran his machines, he did the same for me.

Partners changed and some were the kind the would go beyond what was mandatory to help you, others would do as little as possible. Meally mouth weeny's would say nothing to their slacker partners, just complain to me and anyone that would listen. Everyone but directly to their partner. Me? Most knew me well enough that whatever way they worked, they would get the same in return. If not, I walked up and told them very directly.

Still see and am friends with several, one a lot more than others, because I knew him before we were co-workers. He was like me, kinda. The exception was that he would take advantage of the ones that would let him. I viewed my work partnership as doing what my partner needed and then some. Never have nor will be a person, in anything in life, that would try to take advantage of anyone for anything.

As I've said adnausem in many posts here over many years. "Speak up" and tell your co-worker what you've said here. And my other phrase I use often: "Tell someone that can do something about your problem, and that ain't me"!

hcknut(john)

hckynut(john)

jeanlake · ‎03-10-2010

Certainly you can be friends with cohorts. But certainly not a failure if you aren't. My dearest friend is someone I worked with for 16 years and we went through grad school together. We both retired from education and she retired to Dallas for her husband's airline job transfer. We visit when she comes back to see her mom in KC and I make a special trip to Dallas yearly. We do a monthly, long-distance book club with other friends. Text and call often. In my current, post-retirement, job I plan to remain in contact with a friend who will retire next spring. I'm invited to attend a women's retirement luncheon from the college I retired from but I work during the day and can't attend. Many of those ladies have remained friends. Facebook friends with several former cohorts and we enjoy hearing about one another's lives. The people I liked while working, I continued to like after work. Others who were less than pleasant to work with? They didn't impact me one way or the other. Not a part of my life - then or now.

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@all wrote:
Can co-workers really ever be true friends? Should you be friends with your
Co-workers?

My teammate is not pulling her weight. Resentment is building even though
Courageous conversations have been had at work. For her, ours is a
Friendship of convenience so I know where I stand. Been at this place for only a year after a relocation.

I have a low tolerance for nonsense and was pondering whether a co-workers could ever
Really be a friend.

@all

Often times the wrong word is used to define the relationship.

Most of these relationships are really WORK ACQUAINTANCES ..... not "friendships". There's a big difference.

I think the acid test as to whether a co-worker is really a friend is if you associate with this person outside of work. Do you do things together on evenings or weekends ... have you ever been to their home ... or have they been to your home? You get the idea.

If the individuals don't socialize outside of work, they are merely acquaintances that will probably end as soon as one or the other leaves the company.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

I have several friends who started as co-workers. Some of them are from jobs from many years ago. We socialized outside of work back then, and we continue to do so today. We've celebrated weddings and births and happy occasions as well as held each other's hands' through sadness and loss.

Friends come from wherever you find them.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@all wrote:
Can co-workers really ever be true friends? Should you be friends with your
Co-workers?

I have a low tolerance for nonsense and was pondering whether a co-workers could ever
Really be a friend.

I think you answered your own questions. Do choose them wisely if you choose to be friends, trust your own judgement.

CHIP62 · ‎09-06-2014

@all,

In my experience it all depends what do you mean by friend. I do not have many real friends perhaps five. I can rely on them no matter what.

Having them in the workplace is not impossible but difficult. I get along very well with my colleagues however they are not my friends there are too many issues that can get in the way. Mutual respect yes, politeness certainly real friendship no.🌻

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

That is where I have met most of the friends in my life. That is where you spend the most time. However, I think you have to be work compatible first and then friends. It can be a slippery slope.