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08-10-2022 08:39 PM
My Mom is having a very rough time. We had to sell her home. Mom is almost 92 and She's lived there 63 years. My sister was an infant there. I used to run over there as a 2yr old to get cinnamon toast from the lady who owned it, Mrs. Anna. We lived next door until the couple sold the house to my parents. i think we moved in there in October 1960. There was a black widow spider in a jar. i remember Mr. Harry showed me.
My first memories were the Knotty Pine walls in the kitchen. i could see faces and designs in those pine knots. i remember dancing around in my mother's crinoline petticoat from her '50's skirts. i remember playing outside until dark. my first friend was a boy my age...we were 5 i guess...we tried to "camp" in a tent in the backyard. The tent was an old sheet draped over some metal stakes. as the evening fell spiders started dribbling down on their little threads. i ran inside.
We have many photos and memories cannot be taken away. i wish my Mom could understand this and she'll always have her memories. She's so heartbroken. My sister has been boxing up clothes and coats and things to send to Florida (mom moving in with sis and her hubs). Mom won't give up her clothes and she won't need more than a coat and a few sweaters.
it's sad we couldn't keep the house any longer.. it's a very tiny, cozy home on a mature treed 1/2 acre and we feel fortunate to have a buyer with a daughter who attends the local elementary school. He's a single Dad and the girl just loved the big yard and all the apple and maple trees. we hear she's hoping to have Dad build her a tree fort. it feels good to have a young family living there again.
08-10-2022 09:13 PM
The stories you related are so vivid it is as though you were recalling recent memories, not those of decades ago. So many happy memories of the home you grew up in!
While your mother may likely not have your razor sharp memory, I can only imagine that even though your memories are vibrant and happy, hers must be even more so. 63 years is more than a lifetime for many and there are likely deeply treasured memories in every nook and cranny of the house.
And although no one is to blame, your mother has no choice but to move on. She is leaving where she lived during the longest chapter of her life. She is also losing "her" house, moving away from a home that means everything.
Pictures are a wonderful reminder of the past and hopefully your mother will feel better in time, once she has settled in. I know you will all love and support her. And the clothes? Please let her bring them. They may be impractical but may be comforting.
I loved your generosity and kindness expressed to the new owners. You sound like a wonderful daughter. I wish all of you the best and happiness to your mother..
08-10-2022 09:22 PM
It's so hard to leave former comforts and memories behind. I've experienced this myself, with my mom. My mom grieved when she had to give up her country home with 5 acres. It was just too much for her to handle anymore, nearing 80.
She purchased a lovely smaller home, but hated it. Every time we went shopping, or just for a ride, she'd ask me to drive her out to the old house. Prior to moving, she was already showing some signs of memory deficits, but these raged when she couldn't cope with the change. In no time, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I think a part of her was willing herself to forget.
She has since passed and her old home and land was eventually purchased by authorities to add to the flood plane map, with no further building. The lovely home and gardens were demolished. She lived long enough to see this before severe impairment. It offered her no closure, simply sadness.
My plan is to release her ashes there. I know it's what she would have wanted. I've just been waiting for the right time.
I can relate, feeling for your mom and family. Knowing it's the right thing to do doesn't make it any easier. Best to you all.
08-10-2022 09:33 PM
One day my house will be sold.
It's long been paid for. I always find it interesting when people are surprised a house is paid for.
Several friends of mine have houses paid for. If you stay in the same house, don't refinance, it will be paid off.
Mine is large and 2 stories. The only way I was able to stay in it after I fell is because I put in one of those chair lifts from the inside garage up the back stairs.
I hope to soon be able to use the stairs up. I can go down but working on up.
Your family and mom are to be applauded for helping her to stay there for so long..I love it❤️. I doubt I'll be able to do it that long.
My best friend's mom is 97 years old, in good health and still lives in the house she, (the mom) was born in.
I love the way you described your childhood memories.
I've always told my girls they could have the house. But they have different states and places they want to live in.
They're getting older and their children are in college. We are a close family that comes together several times a year, but it's usually at my oldest daughter's house.
We had lightning hit our house in 2004. Much of the house (wallpaper, paint, furniture) was redone. Hence, it's not what they grew up with.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful memories. I loved reading them.
I wish more people would post some of their memories, old ones and new ones.
Like you, this poster, there are many people here on this forum who are wonderful writers.
As a rule, not many, if any, are professional writers. With that in mind, none of us would be critical of another poster.
Take care and please understand that your mom knows and feels the love from all family members. Fondly, Annabelle❤️
08-10-2022 10:45 PM
@CatsyCline I know how you feel Catsy! In 1964 I was 11 years old and the oldest of a brood of eight! We were shoehorned into tight quarters utilizing multiple sets of bunkbeds and my parents were stunned when a lady from our church called one day and said her mother was moving downstairs to the smaller of the units in her two family house, and the upstairs unit where she had raised her family of 8 kids was coming vacant. Would they be interested? After my mother regained conciousness we were informed that we were moving and I, the oldest boy and at the time the only boy...was getting my own room. The day we moved in was a nice summer day (not too hot!) and after checking out the house and my room I sat out on the deck off the kitchen and leaned over the rail checking out the good sized yard and listening to my transistor radio.
I remember vividly hearing Roy Orbison singing "Pretty Woman" on one of my happiest days.
Mom died in 2015 and I and a sister stayed in the house for another two years before selling it and settling mom's estate. I hadn't really dwelt on the "end of days" aspect of things until one night in the last month of our residency I ordered a pizza.
The delivery fellow came up the back stairs which overlooked the same back yard that
I had admired 53 years before. The years in between saw several big beautiful trees
added to the yard along with plantings that mom had ringed the perimiter with.
There was a really soft and pleasant breeze and the light was almost but not quite gone. "Oh! He said to me. It's so pretty!" I looked out at the yard and my throat began to close and my eyes welled up. "Yes." "Yes it is, thank you."
The day that I had to leave the keys on the kitchen counter for the new owner I got out my phone and leaned over the deck rail and listened to Roy Orbison sing "Pretty Woman" as I looked out over that beautiful yard for the last time. When I reached the street I stopped at the corner of the house, gave her a goodbye hug and kiss and drove away very quickly.
08-11-2022 03:27 AM - edited 08-13-2022 04:52 AM
@CatsyCline , family homes mean so much. I grew up in a beautiful two story home, eight bedrooms (I am one of ten children) on a large country sized lot surrounded by mature oak, elm, chestnut birch and maple trees. The home is 250 years old and had seven fire places.
When my father passed away, the home was sold. All of us had our own homes, many of us moved into other parts of the Province pursuing careers. Fast forward twenty years, my brother bought the house back. He restored it to its original state and lived there until he passed at the age of 67, ten years ago.
We all loved that home. I had my wedding reception there. I had an artist paint a picture of the home in the fall showing all the beautiful trees in colour and the graceful curved driveway and path through the front yard.
I go back to my home town frequently and, after my brother restored it, I took some photos, chose the best one, and had a gallery wrapped canvass produced. Both pictures are in my dining room beside two of the family homes my husband and I have loved and lived in these 45 years.
Perhaps you could do a photo a keepsake for your mother. Mine gives me great pleasure and fond memories.
@Annabellethecat66 , I thought I would add my story to yours. Wonderful to see you posting again. LM
08-11-2022 07:23 AM
When my mother died in 2012, I asked my father who had mobility issues if he would like to move in with my family. We did not have room in our current house and his house did not have enough room for us to move in with him. He agreed and my family bought a new house in which we refinished the basement as an in law suite for my dad complete with a stair lift. I took him almost a year for him to move out his home that our family lived in since I was almost 2- about 45 years. I think he loved the idea of living with my family so he wouldn't be alone but just had a hard time letting go of his house. He ended up selling it to his SIL but he never went back as she remodeled and it wasn't the same for him.
08-11-2022 07:24 AM
So sorry to your mom for how she feels. Memories are for some enough but she is also letting a lifetime go also. Give it time it gets easier. How wonderful though new young life moving in. ❤️
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