Among Friends

[cherry]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

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@cherry wrote:

I would gladly pay what it cost to know the baby is well  cared for

We have some friends whose baby had a broken leg  at a child care facility. She is lucky to be able to check on him during the day

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      There have been a lot of stories in the news lately about bad daycare centers, some really awful things.  They were very fortunate.  She loves that it's so close that she'll be able to go over on her lunch hour. 

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Tell her to keep a strict  eye out for any fussyness from the baby. They took the  kiddie to the hospital and he had a green stick break. Of course the family were all under suspician, but they passed with flying  colors, and the  child care facility was shut down immediately, They honestly thought they had the ideal place to  insure the tykes well being

[Annabellethecat66]

I got married young (19) so I had the luxury (I guess you could call it that) of waiting until I was 27 to have a baby.  We waited so I could afford to stay home and take care of my girls.  It wasn't easy to wait, but we did.  We worked hard and saved every penny we could.  We didn't have 2 cars (lived in city and took buses, etc.  He went to school at night, etc.  

It seems to me that it isn't always cost effective for both couples to work unless they both make really good money, otherwise they are working just to pay a babysitter.  

I've heard of women going back to work and the men stay home because the women make more money.  That's one alternative.

[cherry]

We were lucky, I had both of my children by 21, but my husband made good money ,and had good benefits

All of my friends were in the same boat. We were able to stay home and raise our children.  It's not that way today.  I hope that the govt will do something to aid families with childcare

[Nancy Drew]

This is why I never went into childcare. I would want more than minimum wage to take care of a child. A pretty big responsibility, the care of one's most treasure loved one. But yet they don't complain spending 5 bucks for a cup of overpriced coffee. #Priorities

[Carmie]

My oldest granddaughter as born while I was still working full time.  My son and his wife were living with me until she was 4 years old.  When I came home from work, they went to work. I watched her and put her to bed every night and sometimes on weekends too.  They purchased a house and I missed my granddaughter when they all moved out.

When my grandson was born, I was still working full time and only watched him occasionally and just about every weekend. They paid for daycare for him.

Now, I pick up my youngest granddaughter who is 12 from school every night.  She stays with me until her mother picks her up on her way home from work.., around 9:30 pm.

I try to help my kids with babysitting when I can.  It is very expensive, but grandma only charges a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.  I will miss watching them as they get older.  

DH and I take them with us on summer vacation for a week and often for long weekends too.  My friends ask how I can handle three kids at once. Well, I am the mother of three and my three grandkids listen better for me than they do their parents.

I wanted to mention that there are programs out there for low income families where their Daycare is covered in full or partially while the parents are working. 

Child care is tax deductible too.

[hckynut]

@chrystaltree

Your daughter has options that many do and did not. I worked night shifts for a lot of years, and many of my co-workers with children, barely saw them or their wives. This was many decades ago, but working swing shifts many of their wife's worked day hours.

I think they would have been overjoyed to have working 12 hours a day as an option. Many weeks they worked Saturday and Sunday also.

hckynut(john)

[abbeythe 8th]

What the OP described is the very reason most couples wait to have children.  Frequently it is not cost effective to return to work when the majority of one salary goes to daycare.

It is not unusual for young couples to be ships passing in the night so one or the other is home taking care of the children.

@chrystaltree

Don't you have another daughter with a nanny?  Is it possible the 2 sisters can share the nanny.  Have you considered taking care of your grandchild 1 day a week ?

[on the bay]

It is hard to give up a good paying job or career, or adjust hours, spend less time together etc but for me it would certainly be worth it to take those weekend shifts.

A husband and wife can still spend nights and mornings together and the child being a baby will not come again.

I was going to say the same as @hckynut, they have options. They may not be ideal but they are there. Single couples don't always have these choices.

We had one car and when I would get home from a part time job, my husband would then drive to his job. When I once worked at a school full time and realized I was only clearing $50 a week, I stayed home. We were below the poverty level but I would not have had it any other way.

I think if you are poor to start with, the decisions and choices are easier than if a couple is already invested in a very nice house, 2 cars, phones etc etc.

To me I wanted to be there as much as possible for everything with my children, the most precious to me of all.

Each couple has to decide what is best for them though of course.

[151949]

As a nurse I worked with many women who worked all night - 12 hours - then went home and cared for a child all day and slept after their husband got home from work.Many did this 3 days a week. It is amazing what you can do when you are young. I also worked with 2 men who worked every Friday from 3PM til saturday 7AM then 12 hours saturday night and 12 hours sunday night - this gave them their 40 hour week and full benefits while their wives were at home with the kids and then they were home with the kids all week long.It was no doubt grueling - but they managed to do it for about 6 years til all their kids were in school.

[cherry]

My husband worked all the hrs God sent. HIs standard  work week was 58 hrs. My friends husbands  worked the same .He worked like this his entire life