Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,428
Registered: ‎12-09-2018
Good to know I am not alone. The older ones are my favorite too.My husband and I got lost one night and we ended up in the town where Abraham Lincoln was laid to rest. We missed going there because it was way to late.Darn it!
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,862
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I visit but The City keeps it clean.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,728
Registered: ‎03-19-2014

Yes, I visit my dad's grave site.  The cemetery mows it but I have a small broom that I use to sweep away the dead grass on his headstone from the mowing.  It's something my dad always did for his parents and now that he's gone, I do it for him.  

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,784
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

I am in charge of my parents grave. It is what I wanted. I clean and put flowers. It is a tall stone. Many Aunts and Uncles. None of my cousins go and there are many. My brother goes probably more often than I. He lives closer.




Super Contributor
Posts: 298
Registered: ‎06-02-2010

I do.  I clean up my Daddy's grave when it isn't Winter here.  I clean the stone and trim it up a bit.  It is an honor for me.  I will do it as long as I am physically able.    


On a related note, another sister take credit for keeping it.  I am certain no one does the extra care but me.  It's alright.  Daddy and I know the real truth.  

Valued Contributor
Posts: 544
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

My Grandmother had her own ritual about cemeteries. She went several times a year and put cut flowers on each grave.

Then the people that took care of the cemetery started throwing out the flowers and the containers once a week. Those contaiers cost, so then we had to go back in a couple of days to pick them up.

The beginning of winter she bought "Grave Blankets" made of pine branches to put on each grave. 

Grandma had 2 graves there to put flowers and "blankets" on.

Fast forward, I am now the last one left. There are 5 graves there now. And those "blankets" each cost over $100.00. I am just not willing to spend that much money on cut pine branches, I don't care how nice they look or smell. I don't spring for the cost of a wreath either. 

I love every one of them, and I miss them. But, I'm not spending that much money on decorating a grave. I don't go there every holiday either. They aren't sitting there waiting for me to come to visit. 

I went along with Grandma when she was able to go. But, I don't need a shrine to remind me of them. The things they each taught me are still with me. I don't see the point fo talking to a head stone.

Super Contributor
Posts: 298
Registered: ‎06-02-2010

@INXS wrote:

I put a live planter out each year for Memorial day and maintain/water all summer as does my sister.  I would love to wash the marble headstones but don't know what to use?  Is there something that should be done to maintain the marble?


@INXS - do an internet search for wet and forget outdoor headstone cleaner.  That will point you in the right direction.   


Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,740
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Cemeteries?

[ Edited ]

Yes, I visit my mother’s and grandmother’s graves several times a year and clean up around the grave markers...there are many tall trees in their area of the cemetery and so even if it is mowed, there is always some leaves or other debri that I always clean up. The cemetery is perpetual care, but no planting or balloons are allowed. I take a whisk broom and clear off dust, etc. I have a huge bag I take with me when I go when I change arrangements and take cleaner and a small bottle of water to wash off the marker if dirt has caked on it from rain. I pull up the occasional weed.  I visit for holidays and place seasonal flower arrangements and also for their birthdays. Unfortunately, they are my only two relatives who have graves anywhere close to where I live.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,738
Registered: ‎03-15-2011

My parents are buried at Golden Gate National Cemetary outside of San Francisco. It is a military cemetary and all the care and maintenence is taken care of by them.

Sleep sweet Bo 3/19/08 8/4/18
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,941
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I have not read each post on this thread.  My father passed in 2001; my DM passed in 2014.  When my DF

passed, I not only kept up his grave but also about 10 around him.  It upset my DM to see other graves not swept off and weeds trimmed or pulled.  I did this each week until she was no longer able to drive to the gravesite herself.  I put out flowers and decorations every month for her sake.  Now she is gone, I don't go  weekly or even monthly but do go on the anniverary of their passing, their birthdays, and Christmas.  Flowers are replaced, dusk to dawn lights recieve new batteries, and I pull weeds and brush the headstones off of weeds trimmed by the cemetery staff.   I do drive by weekly to be sure everything is up to snuff.   I don't live near my grandparents and while I know my paternal grandparents are well looked after by family living in the area, my maternal grandparents have no one looking after their burial site which is out in the country, over 100 miles from me.  I have no illusions that our children will look over a gravesite for us.  I believe that both DH  and I will be cremated so there is no gravesite for our children to maintain.